To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Choose an explicitly family friendly hotel?

I think family friendly hotels or self-catering hotels are your best bet OP.

I would not have let my kids squeal at 7am or run around a reception lobby. But I had easy kids.

Is this a hotel which is marketed as family-friendly? Some hotels are more aimed at couples/business and some are aimed at families.. if you have a long drive I’d look for one that has a play area (often ones which are attached to pubs are close to play areas in the pub gardens)

Tbh I think hotels are purposefully not kid friendly. The majority of people don’t want other people’s kids destroying their break. I’ve been woken up before and I was furious ( have 4 kids at home) when I’m resting without them I certainly don’t want anyone else’s kids ruining it. It’s harsh I know, but kids don’t buy hotel rooms, adults do. That’s the target market.

Go to a family friendly hotel?

I think children only swimming hours are standard and we always check. Often it's kids only allowed between 8-11 and e.g. 3-7.30pm. Which is fine.

I'd be annoyed about kids "letting off steam" in a reception area. Do it outside. Whilst everyone has different parenting styles and standards, unless it's a family friendly hotel or a cheapie like a premier Inn, I'd not be happy either.

There’s loads of family friendly hotels.

Tbh we stay in various hotels. I think it’s fine. It’s never occurred to me to take Ds swimming at 7am. If he wakes early he gets some tv in hotel room in bed which is novelty. By the time everyone is up dressed and we go have breakfast it’s after 9am.

I wouldn’t ever let him run around in reception on checking in, dh or I would check in and the other sit with ds if needed or take him for stroll outside. He’s 3. Hotel rooms are generally fine to let them play in, the walls aren’t that paper thin for regular children playing noise.

Find a family friendly hotel and do lots of research.

I think you’re probably in the bit of having young dc where you don’t realise just how loud / disruptive they are.

The running around the lobby - no, I wouldn’t let my dc do that. Of course it’s going to annoy other people / potentially be dangerous.

How long had the dc been up playing by 7am? One of ours used to wake up v early and it was tricky keeping them quiet but you have to because objectively 7am is early to be woken on a weekend hotel break.

You’re right that hotels aren’t the most young child friendly. But I don’t think they have to be. Just choose better places to go away - we did lots of self catering cottages when dc were similar ages to yours. Easier all round. And know that if you are choosing a hotel, you will need to make sure your dc understand how to behave rather than the hotel needing to flex to them.

People don't go away to listen to other people's kids. You say they were letting off steam... they upset people enough to make them leave. They were then loud enough, early enough to upset people enough to ring reception and complain. And then you complain that you can't go interfere with an adults only swimming session. No words really.

There were other children staying in the hotel, so it was obviously meant to be family friendly.

No one would call reception for one child's squeel. People don't leave comfy sofas for kids just running around a bit.
Pool, well depends if it was set on their website or not.
It doesn't sound like hotel aimed at families. There are PLENTY of those though

Hmmm, I think these are 3 bad examples tbh

1. The people reading newspapers are not the hotel. Different people have different reactions to kids being a bit disruptive in different situations. Plus, some people have a resting face that looks like a dirty look. I'm one of them - but it very rarely means I am thinking about anything other than being distracted with my own thoughts.
2. Most hotel rooms are built to keep noise contained - otherwise the hotel would be inundated with complaints abut TVs, hairdryers, etc. So, I'm guessing either you were in the kind of hotel that used to be something else (and so soundproofing was perhaps less than standard) - which is not great for kids tbh - or your children were actually a bit nosier than you thought - in order to be heard next door.
3. It's 1.5 hours out of (presumably) the whole day. Does not seem unreasonable to just keep the earlier day slot for adults only in the pool.

I call reverse

Just because there were other children in the hotel doesn't mean it's family friendly.

We don't do hotels anymore, unless they're specifically family friendly ones abroad, or occasionally a B&B/pub type thing, but mostly we do self-catering now. It suits the kids miles better in my opinion, and is more of a "relaxing" break as the kids can go to bed and we can stay up and we're not having to wait for breakfast (or rush and get everyone up for breakfast!) in the morning.

you need to go to family friendly hotels

This has got to be a reverse 😂

If not, OP, I think you should reflect on whether your kids were actually being quiet or being relatively quiet (i.e. they were being noisy but you're used to them being even noisier, so you either don't notice or just thank your lucky stars)!

I have young children and we stick to places that are explicitly family-friendly. If in doubt we look for kids' clubs, mini discos, kids' menus, high chairs. Even if we don't use the stuff, they are signs that we are welcome. There was also a period of about six months when we could only holiday in a caravan at least fifty yards from any other human being in any direction. Needs must 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Children running around a hotel lobby is unacceptable, and I’m not sure why you think the other people in this scenario are being unreasonable.

Nobody calls reception for one excited child squealing once.

You are either down playing how poor your parenting is, or you are completely deluded. Which is it?

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.

Its unbelievable that you would think this is acceptable. No one else cares about your long drive; that’s your issue

I’ll keep it simple OP: your children are not the centre of the universe.

Be considerate of other people. Running round a hotel reception is feral, they are old enough to stand and wait until you check in, they can ‘let off steam’ where people aren’t trying to relax.

People in hotels are likely to be on holiday. I’d be furious if I was woken up on holiday by noisy kids.

As for the pool - tough shit. Thems the rules, it’s a good opportunity to tell Prince and Princess they will have to wait because some things aren’t for them.

This has to be a reverse surely?

YABVU. I feel for the other guests.

If they needed to let off steam after travelling you could have let them run around outside.

It was obviously more than one little noise in the morning and again, take them outside.

In other words, parent your children and stop being so entitled.

We’ve taken young DC to hotels for years. They’re fine; we’ve taught them how to behave in them, and don’t expect the rules to be broken for them.

My kids are the same ages, we wouldn't be staying a hotel unless it was marketing itself to families.

1, this isn't ok, in that situation DH would have taken them out to let off steam outside or if nowhere suitable bribed with snacks. Running around reception or the bar isn't on.

2, Maybe they were louder than you thought, easy to get immune to your own DC's noise.

3, depends on the type of hotel. If it was marketed to families I'd expect to be in. If it's a fancy spa hotel I wouldn't want kids being allowed in to play and splash while I was relaxing.

Basically, you're right in that hotels aren't easy with DC, not least because the evenings are shit unless you have a suite. Better to book a SC apartment.

Family friendly never means they can run amok and shout so that other guests can hear them through the walls