To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

We were sat in the lobby of a naice hotel abroad recently and a family with 3 under 4 yrs were checking in.The children were tear arsing around dragging each other across the floor and screaming the parents didn't acknowledge it at all.
Lazy af parenting.

We have generally found that unless they are marketed specifically for families then no they are a bit difficult - happy for you to pay but with a seen and not heard attitude.

I completely get it many people want a lie in etc but I also have early wakers and if they could hear a small excited noise then I would have responded that it's a problem with the walls just like hearing noise the other way around.

We generally avoid hotels unless we have to because we don't want to sit in the dark quietly from 7.30 as the kids are asleep and the monitor never stretches!

I actually can't recall a single time I've heard stuff in the room next to me in a hotel, Ive heard noise in the corridor but can't recall in other rooms. So either you were really loud, the hotel sound proofing is crap or they heard something else. The lobby is on you and the swimming is fair enough. At 7am I'd have probably headed to breakfast

But were they running around in reception, disturbing people early in the morning or demanding to be let into the pool because “there are only two other people in there”? I think your pool comment says all everyone needs to know about your expectations that the hotel should put your childrens needs first before the other guests !

You chose the wrong hotel, be more careful next time and choose somewhere else, and enjoy being with someone else’s noisy entitled and out of control children on your break.

We generally avoid hotels unless we have to because we don't want to sit in the dark quietly from 7.30 as the kids are asleep and the monitor never stretches!

@Scottishskifun I don't understand the above!

Sounds like you picked the wrong hotel OP.

If there were older people sat in the lobby reading newspapers, and someone complaining about noise at 7am - then it probably isn't the hotel for families. And the fact that the readers got up and left, DOES suggest that your kids were being too rowdy.

If you're staying in the likes of Travelodge, Premier Inn, Ibis, Novotel, Holiday Inn, Hilton, then frankly you can expect some noise at all hours. Anywhere else though, particularly in the major towns/cities - is pretty much unspoken adults-only.

Some hotels are family friendly, and some just really, really aren't. Unfortunately, you never really pick up on these "rules" unless you're a frequent hotel user.

If you WERE staying in one of the chains I mentioned, then you just got unlucky. But it does sound like maybe your kids could benefit from a bit of "hotel training".

Why not? Many hotel lobbies are set up precisely for people to sit, relax, have a coffee or a drink, and chat. What do you think the sofas, chairs and tables are for? I don't think we're talking about the reception in a Travel Lodge here.

We were staying in a family room in a hotel this summer. Family room, so supposed to be family-friendly. Instead we found that the windows in our room, which was on the third floor, could easily be completely opened by a small child. You'd think 'family-friendly' would include basic safety precautions.

You put the kids to bed at 7:30, what do you do then? In an apartment you would go into the living room. In a hotel room you can't do that. Can't put monitor on and go somewhere else because the monitor doesn't have a long enough range.

You’ve just picked the wrong hotel. We stay in hotels and have for years. But we do try to keep the kids under control. I know it’s hard! The people getting annoyed while reading their newspapers I would just ignore personally. You’re wrong to demand a slot in the pool though - most hotels have set hours for children and rightly so

@takealettermsjones err lots of family hotels have family suites with separate lounge areas...

Sounds like you're minimising their behaviour.

1. You shouldn't have let them run about in the hotel lobby to "let off steam". Of course that's going to annoy people and it clearly did.

2. They were clearly too loud at 7am and you are totally unacceptable to have allowed that. I doubt they were quiet as you say if it got to shrieking stage.

3. The hotel policy is adults only during that time. There were adults who had chosen to take advantage of that. Why should they bend the rules and spoil other people's quiet time for you? You couldn't keep them quiet anywhere else so how were you going to manage it in the pool?

When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.

Kids should not be running around indoors, why did one of you not check in while the other took them outside to 'let off a bit of steam'

@Chemenger the hotels Ive stayed in that have action in the lobby aren't particularly peaceful imo so I wouldn't read there or expect quiet. Lots of other hotels i've stayed in have separate lounges for certain things & family ones sometimes have separate adults only lounges.

A hotel welcoming children doesn't mean that children can be permitted to spoil the experience of other guests, so however family friendly it is, there's still an onus on you to minimise disruption.
A hotel reception area isn't the place to let off steam. If they needed to run around after a journey a stop just before arriving or a run round outside would have been better.
The pool rules are an attempt by the hotel to balance the needs of families with adult only guests, and entirely reasonable. It was entitled of you to expect an exception to be made for you.
As for the noise complaint, if your children were really playing quietly then your neighbours were unreasonable in complaining. But the hotel staff don't know that. I suppose they wouldn't imagine anyone would make a vexatious complaint about children so quiet they weren't really disturbed by them, so took it at face value.

Echoing others- if the kids aren't ready or able to behave appropriately, it's not your or their automatic right to disrupt others simply because they're children. Maybe do a self-cater next time.
Some people seem to develop deafness to their own children. Others find their high-pitched shrieks painful. If guests were complaining about noise, there would have been significant noise, not a mere giggle.
The pool is something to just suck up- not everything is for (your) kids and an early morning adult-only time is surprisingly limited.

Family friendly never means they can run amok and shout so that other guests can hear them through the walls
Agree with this.

There seems to be a lot of threads at the moment that boil down to "everyone hates children because they expect parents to exercise common sense and teach their children situation-appropriate behaviour".

For the OP's examples:

1. Running around a reception/bar area isn't acceptable.
2. Nobody phones reception because of one excitable squeak at 7am
3. It's fairly typical to have some adult only swim times, usually early in a morning or later in the evening.

This has to be a joke post off the back of the recent conversations about people being intolerant of children. Surely no one could actually think that any of those examples put the hotel in the wrong?

vibecheck
I thought so. There's loads of threads like this at the moment.

It's the summer holidays though 🤷‍♀️

I've got 3DC & we've never stayed in a hotel for a holiday. It's always been a family friendly caravan site (parkdean, Haven etc) or an apartment abroad full of other families.

So no, I wouldn't and have never taken my kids to a hotel - its not set up for them and i would have hated trying to keep them occupied quietly - that's no holiday for me either!

@takealettermsjones so we are off to a family friendly hotel in Devon next week & our hotel "room" is an interconnected space made up of 2 separate bedrooms with 2 separate bathrooms & then a lounge. Obviously it's not cheap but just making the point that it's pretty normal to stay in a hotel & not be confined to one room.

Self catering is the way to go with little ones, unless it's a hotel specifically aimed at young families. It's so much less stressful for exactly the reasons your experience shows.

Obviously dc shouldn't be running around a hotel reception or making loud noises at 7am.

Lots of places that are appropriate for dc to be still expect certain levels of behaviour.

People in this country (assume UK) aren't particularly tolerant of children. I have noticed in pubs that if children make any noise you'll see lots of obvious negative body language but if you get a very loud group of people no-one bats an eyelid.

However, I don't think it would have been fair for them to break the rules and let you into the pool especially as there was a couple in there already.

Some hotels aren’t family friendly, some are, but no hotels are happy with children running around reception. If they need to blow off steam then one parent takes them outside to the garden / playground while the other checks in, or you simply tell them to stay still. If there is no garden/playground then probably you’re in the wrong hotel.

All hotels with pools have an adult only session, usually first thing. This must have been your first time but next time you’ll know to check.

When they wake up if they’re bouncy, you take them outside or to breakfast, straight away. If after 8am or so I do let mine run up and down the hotel corridors, but mine only giggle they never scream, and so they make less corridor noise than most adults.