To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Oh, and to respond to ideas raised recently on another thread, no, we don’t hit our children to get them to behave. Never have and never will. At the table we talk to each other (with children involved in the conversation), draw/colour, read, do puzzles etc.

@EssexMan55

most are not so entitled.
most ensure their children are not so entitled too.

that’s what happens in most EU countries.

so with you huge EU knowledge I guess you see that

ps it’s true but we already know people in the UK are so arrogant they think there is nothing to learn from EU hence the stupidity of Brexit

I’ve no idea. Maybe the single parents of toddlers have some suggestions?

Even child friendly places don't have to like our of control kids. Sometimes it's not appropriate for kids to run around, smallish places where other people are walking through is a good example of this. Kids should be able to be quiet for an hour or two, if yours can't, plan how not to disturb others.

It's a good point. "Child friendly" actually means the venue make facilities like toddler food, cots / highchairs, etc, available; not that they welcome you using the venue itself as your own personal play park.

Well it's like being dog friendly is it. Fine to welcome the smelly mutts, but nobody wants them pooing in the reception.

Precisely !!

I take care to avoid hotels that welcome mutts & brats.

Nope, that is simply coincidence. It’s that everyone in the U.K. hates children, and everyone in Europe (which is one big lump of a country that is all identical and not a good number of countries with various cultures) loves children.

I genuinely haven’t been woken by drunk adults. And I stay everywhere from posh to premier inns! Maybe I have been lucky. Have not been woken by screeching kids either though.

Ha yes. If I see ‘dog-friendly’ on a website, the hotel gets crossed off my list.

Currently staying in a large 600 bed hotel in Germany. There are many children, and babies in arms, some dogs and lots of singles and couples all ages. Not any special "child friendly " stuff. No high chairs, playground, etc. They seem to manage just fine.

And it is quiet, people checking in, no running around, all chatting quietly at breakfast etc. It is simply as expected.

We were on the underground tram yesterday and a young man started his music playing ... 3 people nearby immediately, quietly asked him to respect others. He turned it off. Certain levels of respect seem expected. I love it.

Well it's like being dog friendly is it. Fine to welcome the smelly mutts, but nobody wants them pooing in the reception.
This!

Welcoming dogs is not a free pass to let a dog off lead everywhere, poo in reception and bark at 7am because foofoo-paw-pants is so excitable and can't help it.

Same with children. A child-friendly venue welcomes children. It's not a free pass for lazy/inconsiderate parents to let them run around everywhere, make huge amount of noise, demand access to everywhere and then sulk when people object to the poor parenting.

Oh wow, if it wasn't for the spa nakedness maybe I should move to Germany.
The phone playing at loud volumes on public transport seems to have extended itself to France and Jersey from a recent stay. I hate it so much - more so than DCs playing in a lobby - as it's just selfish behaviour easily remedied by cheap, widely available headphones.

Totally.

Yeah but adults are allowed to be a pita. The constant goady fuckers on mumsnet literally hate children.

I don't hate children. I do hate poor parenting. It is unfair on people around you at the time. It is unfair on their future teachers, and volunteer coaches or group Leaders, and, ultimately, it is unfair on the kids themselves. Does them no favours to let them grow up not understanding that their behaviour impacts on others.

Theirs of course were apparently at 3 sitting nicely for hours on end, were never up with the lark and bouncing off the walls while they willed the clock on. Yeah right.

No, 2 of mine were later diagnosed with ADHD. They certainly weren't (and still can't as adults) "sit nicely for hours on end" , so we worked with that and never expected them to. However, during the times they were expected to sit nicely, then they grasped the concept that it wasn't playground time.

Did it take hard work ? Yes

Was it a barrel of laughs ? No.

Did we make our lives a lot easier by staying in self catering places where we weren't disturbing others ? Yes
If they needed to run off some steam, did we let them do it in a hotel lobby ? No
Did we take them out to somewhere appropriate to run about ? Yes

I found it perfectly family friendly over the years. We took Dd to a wide range of hotels, restaurants, museums, theatres, theme parks, various days out, etc and never had any issues.

To your face. The intolerance behind the scenes is intense

Only if your kids are making a bloody nuisance of themselves unchecked? 🤷🏻‍♀️
What else could possibly cause intense intolerance behind the scenes, and what does this even mean, anyway?

The thing is that people have different views of what's appropriate.

I don't agree with the idea that running inside is never acceptable. I won't let my kids do it when they would get in people's way but sometimes a lobby or other indoor space will have some empty space where it's not in someone's way - which is what the OP seems to be saying.

I do stop my kids from doing things that I don't think are acceptable. I just don't agree that playgrounds are the only place for kids to run.

Kids don't have to be causing a "bloody nuisance" for people to be intolerant.

If you're meeting "intolerance" wherever you go (I'm not sure what form this takes?), then you can be assured it's related to your kid's behaviour, not the fact that they exist.

I don't meet intolerance. I see it on threads like this about other peoples kids. Kids aren't supposed to be mini adults.

I think you are being unreasonable on all those points. Your children shouldn’t be running around reception and I think you are minimising the noise they were making in the morning, nobody rings reception about a child’s single shriek of laughter. Also hotel pools need to have some adult time and it is generally minimal. We have a hotel leisure club membership as our gym membership and the adult only time for the pool is extremely limited.

Me too. These children were obviously louder than the parents thought, very annoying, I would have left too with that racket in the reception area. Control your kids.

Adult pool times are adult pool times. Stop being an entitled parent.

That's your problem to deal with, nobody else's.