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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should you change the beds every time you have guests?

216 replies

homecomingposy · 14/08/2023 09:25

I’ve always thought it is absolutely the case that a guest should have clean bed linen when they come to stay. I’ve been doing it for years. Even tho it means tonnes of washing. So when I stayed over recently at ( very good) friends I found a dirty sock in the bed. Someone had stayed in it before me.
Plus, a month or so ago I stayed at another friend and had to brush out hairs from inside the bed and off the pillow. Which I then turned over. Now to clarify, I said nothing. Got on with it. But for some ( justifiable ?) reason, I feel a bit queasy about this.
am i the only one who changes the sheets each time ???

OP posts:
OliveWah · 14/08/2023 22:34

YANBU!

I remember going to stay with my DM and her husband for the weekend a few years ago, and I knew they had had other guests stay for the previous few nights.

I was mindful that they were putting themselves out by having 2 sets of guests, one after the other, so I offered to go and change the sheets on the guest bed.

She replied "It's all sorted", which sounded suspicious, so I specified "Have you changed the sheets on the bed since your last guests left?" and she looked a bit shifty, and said "Well... no. But I've folded them back and opened the windows wide, so they've had a proper airing, they'll be fine!" 😱

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 14/08/2023 22:34

I've read a lot on MNs that has left me thinking WTF but bloody hell I can't believe this question is even up for consideration.

Hairs, sweat, dead skins, bodily fluids, athletes foot etc. It's vile and so disrespectful not to change sheets for guests.

cocksstrideintheevening · 14/08/2023 22:37

I'm a slattern by mn standards but of course yes!

LongTermLurker · 14/08/2023 22:44

I always change the sheets for guests, but I'm not really that fussed about it myself in certain situations. Eg if one of my siblings has spent the night at my mum's house, it would seem a bit unnecessary to change them for me. If it's someone I don't know (or someone I do know and they're a minger 🤣) then I'd rather have fresh sheets.

OnTheBoardwalk · 14/08/2023 22:47

Absolutely. 4 out of 5 times in a year I’m the only person who stays at my friends house. I tell her not to change sheets between my stays but would expect her to change them the one time a year another friend stays

shes at mine twice a year and I'll sleep in her sheets (if hot and my room south facing) but never let her sleep in mind

Qilin · 14/08/2023 23:30

As soon as a guest leaves I change the bedding, so it's ready for the next person who comes. If I know for sure it'll be the same person it will be left though.

Curvymumzy · 14/08/2023 23:34

As a cleaner I can tell you that every guest should have clean bedding! You don’t know what is on that bedding! There could be blood, body fluids, hairs and dead skin 😵

Qilin · 14/08/2023 23:35

We have washable coverless duvets so the whole thing gets washed between guests. As does the mattress protector and pillowcase protector.

Hankunamatata · 14/08/2023 23:36

Omg yes clean sheets each time even if family. Boke

CoveredWindows · 14/08/2023 23:37

Fucking hell, yes, YANBU 🤢

SmartHome · 14/08/2023 23:38

Er, YES.

DameCurlyBassey · 14/08/2023 23:46

I always give guests fresh sheets.

Sorry you had that experience. It would really gross me out.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:47

That's revolting! I'd change sheets for a dog, let alone a human.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:48

BrightYellowDaffodil · 14/08/2023 09:28

God, yes. Who wants to sleep in bed linen that someone else has slept, sweated and goodness knows what else in?

I think I’d sleep on the floor before sleeping in someone else’s used bed sheets.

Same here. Or in my car.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:49

McOrange · 14/08/2023 09:33

I’m gonna go against the grain. I think it’s ok not to change them absolutely every time.

we have a spare room and occasionally I’ll sleep in there with clean sheets if the baby is having a rough night. If my parents came to stay the next night I won’t put fresh sheets on for them again, but I would switch pillow cases

what’s the harm - I’m not dirty, I sleep in pjs, about 8 hours in the bed and a clean pillow case is absolutely fine

Omg.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:52

BerylWiddicombe · 14/08/2023 10:04

The correct answer is obviously yes of course you change them before each guest.

The honest truth is like PP if e.g. I've gone in there the night before because DH is snoring and my parents are coming who I know are not super fussy then I won't change them just for that. And I'll often hop in the bed another guest has been in if I want to go in the spare room and haven't changed them yet. But that's my lookout! And agree if it's the same guest and a short gap then that's ok too. And possibly maybe we might have dropped the ball on this when we had lots of people staying to help out with childcare when our youngest was in hospital or other periods of stress.

At least you could have offered them the clean bedding even if they had to make the change themselves.

Making people sleep in minging sheets is more than "dropping the ball."

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:56

EweGotToGrooveIt · 14/08/2023 11:22

Fresh sheets every time.

However, if a guest has only stopped one night, I might move that bedding to my own bed and 'use it up' for a few nights before washing it.

But guests always have fresh linens.

😐

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 23:59

GalaApples · 14/08/2023 11:46

Feeling quite icky and anxious about this - as always assumed people put clean fresh bed linen on for guests, same as i would. I have never come across this before. if in doubt now I will secretly take my own sleeping bag. There is no way I would want to sleep in pre-used sheets. Ugh.

I stayed at a friend's once after her pre-teen nephews had stayed. Just as i was heading to bed, something she said made me think the sheets hadn't been changed.

So grossed out; never accepted another invitation. And she's normally a clean, energetic person.

Dirrrrty · 15/08/2023 00:04

Interesting poll results. Currently at 98% in your favour.
I asked the same question a few months ago but it was about bedding for my child at his grandparents' home, and 61% thought it was fine that he was put in used bedding.
Seems mn doesn't care about hygiene for kids.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4741890-clean-bedding-is-a-basic-hygiene-standard-yes

(They've been to visit once since my last post, and I packed sleeping bag liners for them. DD was still put in the double bed that ex and his new gf had been in the night before. Gross.)

Clean bedding is a basic hygiene standard, yes? | Mumsnet

Ex H has taken our two children several hours' away to visit his parents, along with his new girlfriend. They live in a three-bed house; one single b...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4741890-clean-bedding-is-a-basic-hygiene-standard-yes

BerylWiddicombe · 15/08/2023 00:05

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune Thanks for the telling off. I actually I think it's understandable to "drop the ball" when one of your children is in ICU miles from home and it's close friends and family who know where the washing machine and sheets are. My point was even if not ideal they'd all know they wouldn't spontaneously combust.

LongTermLurker · 15/08/2023 06:40

Zelda, what on earth do you do in bed (or how unwashed are you) to have such epic levels of revulsion at the thought of sleeping in sheets that someone else has slept in? How do you manage to sit on sofas that have possibly never or very rarely been washed?

As mentioned above I wouldn't mind sleeping in sheets that a sibling had used once. They're clean people, and wear pajamas. Am I making in imagination in what would be so repulsive about touching the same fabric that they've touched?

LongTermLurker · 15/08/2023 06:42

Lacking in imagination

WonderingWanda · 15/08/2023 07:24

Yes absolutely, although I have also stayed as a guest where I think people have not....it's grim.

ApiratesaysYarrr · 15/08/2023 08:23

I'm an absolute domestic slattern, but I would always change bedlinen for guests even if they had only stayed one night and I knew that the next person to sleep in the bed was going to be the same person (we don't get many visitors).

Simonjt · 15/08/2023 08:27

We stayed with someone once who thought it was acceptable to not bother changing the duvet cover because they used a top sheet 🤢

We found out on the first morning, so after that we made our excuses and left a day early.