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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should you change the beds every time you have guests?

216 replies

homecomingposy · 14/08/2023 09:25

I’ve always thought it is absolutely the case that a guest should have clean bed linen when they come to stay. I’ve been doing it for years. Even tho it means tonnes of washing. So when I stayed over recently at ( very good) friends I found a dirty sock in the bed. Someone had stayed in it before me.
Plus, a month or so ago I stayed at another friend and had to brush out hairs from inside the bed and off the pillow. Which I then turned over. Now to clarify, I said nothing. Got on with it. But for some ( justifiable ?) reason, I feel a bit queasy about this.
am i the only one who changes the sheets each time ???

OP posts:
56Chandeliers · 14/08/2023 12:53

This has brought back memories of a bad argument I had with my dp when visiting his mum for Christmas. He was expecting us to move from a hotel we had been in while his sister and her family had been at the mum’s flat. All hell broke loose when I said I’d rather stay at the hotel after SIL’s family left because it was obvious we’d have to sleep in unchanged sheets. Apparently not wanting to sleep in bed linen a teenage boy has slept in for three nights made me mean and selfish.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 14/08/2023 12:54

I once stayed with a very old friend who told me very proudly that the sheets on the bed I was sleeping in had only been slept on by two other of her friends (a couple) for two nights.

She seemed to expect congratulations for this.

I said 'thanks' in a very small voice.

Yesabsolutely · 14/08/2023 12:55

We have a lot if bed hopping in our house and sons that stay overnight occasionally .I don't change the sheets every time and the boys genuinely don't care .If we have guests which is very rarely then obviously clean bed linen , towels etc .

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/08/2023 12:55

EweGotToGrooveIt · 14/08/2023 11:22

Fresh sheets every time.

However, if a guest has only stopped one night, I might move that bedding to my own bed and 'use it up' for a few nights before washing it.

But guests always have fresh linens.

I sometimes do this with my mum and change the pillow cases. She sleeps in pjs and it’s just the duvet cover. The rest gets washed. I wouldn’t do it with anyone else tbh.

Dd (15) otoh has sleepovers with friends in her bed, sometimes different friends and consecutive nights. They all wear pjs. I’ve told her she can change the bed and she says they don’t care. I do tell her to at least change the bottom sheet if it’s covered in fake tan! Sometimes she does, other times she doesn’t. I wash and iron the darn stuff. Her bed is changed fortnightly. It used to be weekly but I am not well enough to keep up with that.

queenatom · 14/08/2023 12:59

I have pretty lax standards but always, always clean sheets (and towels!) for guests.

northernbeee · 14/08/2023 13:14

I can't believe this isn't a 100% YANBU!! Who on earth thinks its OK to keep sheets someone else has slept in??! I don't wash my own bedding as regular as most but I would 100% wash guest bedding. I can see it being a pain if its a regular thing but you just have to, surely.

PinkRiceKrispies · 14/08/2023 13:18

Yuck. This thread has made me feel a bit queasy.
As another poster said, I would rather sleep on the floor than sleep in bed sheets, somebody else has been in. Even if it was close family.

FiestyGemini · 14/08/2023 13:22

I change the bedding after every guest and flip the mattress, somethimes i do this even if i havet had a guest for a few months just to keep it 'fresh'. Its routine I guess.

Lemonyfuckit · 14/08/2023 13:24

Ew is all I can say, absolutely you should put fresh sheets on for each guest.

Mamai90 · 14/08/2023 13:24

Alloveragain3 · 14/08/2023 09:30

I've found a sock in a bed in a dingy hotel in NYC once. Bleugh.

Absolutely, change sheets every single time.

Similar happened to me in a hotel in Glasgow. The sheets even had a fusty smell. Yuck. But I was a skint student and couldn't afford anywhere else.

GrumpyPanda · 14/08/2023 13:24

Why don't you offer to bring sheets with you? Assuming you're driving.

TheYadaYada · 14/08/2023 13:26

That’s so grim to not change the sheets between guests.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 14/08/2023 13:29

Yes, always.

The only time I don't is if I am visiting my mum and we know I will be the next guest so we leave the sheets on until my next visit, especially if I am there without DH and have only used one side of the bed for 2-3 nights.

StarlightLady · 14/08/2023 13:32

I strip the bed as soon as a guest leaves.

As for the dirty sock, I was once staying in a well known chain hotel brand and found a pair of knickers in the bed which were not mine.

nonmerci99 · 14/08/2023 14:00

!!! I could probably stand to wash my own sheets more frequently than I do, but I would never let a guest sleep in our spare room in dirty linens! I would be disgusted if I found hair or a dirty sock in a bed I was sleeping in. 😳

StBrides · 14/08/2023 14:03

Of course the sheets should be changed each time, it's not Thénardier's boarding house!

Riapia · 14/08/2023 14:05

Go over the sheets with a steam iron. No need for excessive use of water.
😉😁😁😁

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/08/2023 14:06

Yes absolutely should be changed!

Unless perhaps the host has a new born baby - although if the dad is about still no excuse as he can do it - or is being visiting because they’re ill.

Even then- I’d rather be presented with clean sheets to make the bed myself!

SpinachSpinachMoreSpinach · 14/08/2023 14:15

OMG I cannot believe this is even a question!

As a guest, I have always stripped the bed before leaving, as have most of the people who have stayed at ours. Isn't that how it's supposed to be done?

Genuinely baffled - I mean disgusted! - that anyone would expect guests to sleep in pre-used sheets...

stayathomer · 14/08/2023 14:17

I stayed with a friend once and could tell the sheets had not been changed since the last guest and HATED it.
Same here, could smell the shower gel/perfume of someone else on the sheets so I didn’t properly snuggle down and scrunched up my nose for most of the night😅

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/08/2023 14:17

Fresh bedding for every new guest that comes to stay.

theemmadilemma · 14/08/2023 14:18

Ugh no. By MN standards I'm a bit of a minger, but I'd never put someone in slept in sheets. YUK!

fussychica · 14/08/2023 14:22

OMG that's awful. If I've slept in the spare room for any reason, even for one night, I'd change the bed for any guest, even if it was my adult son visiting. After any visit the bed is changed straight way.

LoveThisUsername · 14/08/2023 14:23

Your friends are disgusting op, so much so that I'd reconsider the friendship if this were me.

Lilibert456 · 14/08/2023 14:53

I would always change bed linen after a visitor. They would be in the wash as soon as they left.