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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should you change the beds every time you have guests?

216 replies

homecomingposy · 14/08/2023 09:25

I’ve always thought it is absolutely the case that a guest should have clean bed linen when they come to stay. I’ve been doing it for years. Even tho it means tonnes of washing. So when I stayed over recently at ( very good) friends I found a dirty sock in the bed. Someone had stayed in it before me.
Plus, a month or so ago I stayed at another friend and had to brush out hairs from inside the bed and off the pillow. Which I then turned over. Now to clarify, I said nothing. Got on with it. But for some ( justifiable ?) reason, I feel a bit queasy about this.
am i the only one who changes the sheets each time ???

OP posts:
BerylWiddicombe · 14/08/2023 10:04

The correct answer is obviously yes of course you change them before each guest.

The honest truth is like PP if e.g. I've gone in there the night before because DH is snoring and my parents are coming who I know are not super fussy then I won't change them just for that. And I'll often hop in the bed another guest has been in if I want to go in the spare room and haven't changed them yet. But that's my lookout! And agree if it's the same guest and a short gap then that's ok too. And possibly maybe we might have dropped the ball on this when we had lots of people staying to help out with childcare when our youngest was in hospital or other periods of stress.

BatheInTheLight · 14/08/2023 10:05

For different guests I'd change the bedding.

Sometimes though my parents might stay for 3 or 4 nights and we know no one else is going to be in the bed again and they come to visit again a few weeks later. My life is busy enough without changing bedding which has only been slept in 3 or 4 times!

aintnospringchicken · 14/08/2023 10:08

Yuck,that's grim.I always change all the bed linen in between guests unless the same guests will be returning before we have any new guests.

Abra1t · 14/08/2023 10:12

I always change anything that touches the skin. I put a flat sheet under the duvet (and cover) after the first use so that I don’t have to change the duvet cover every time.
I don’t always change the bottom pillow cases after one night (if there are two pillows per person), just the top ones people actually put their faces and heads against.

KimberleyClark · 14/08/2023 10:14

I’d never expect a guest to sleep in used bed linen.

TakeMe2Insanity · 14/08/2023 10:15

Yes! This goes without saying!

Louloulouenna · 14/08/2023 10:16

Always change bedding but I do use a sheet under the duvet cover as it’s a lot less bother to wash and dry a sheet rather than a duvet cover.

megletthesecond · 14/08/2023 10:17

Yanbu. Fresh bed linen for new guests.

aSofaNearYou · 14/08/2023 10:17

If it's a different guest I change them. If it's the same guest again, I don't.

SistersNotCisters · 14/08/2023 10:18

ABSOLUTELY it should be fresh linen. DH and I used to go visit SIL once every couple of months so they could see the kids and we could take MIL to SIL's. (They'd invite us, we never invited ourselves) and I ended up taking my own pillow case and a large nightie because it was always an unwashed bed and I could clearly smell it wasn't clean. I'd use my own pillowcase and fold the nightie over the top part of the duvet. The bed was usually covered in hair and the odd pubic hair too.
We no longer go regularly and politely decline using random excuses so as not to offend. The bedding isn't a big part of that at all but it does factor in very slightly.
BIL comes to us regularly now when he has a job in the area and DS gives him his bed and either DS or we change the linen so his uncle gets a clean bed, even if was already changed a couple of days before. DS is primary aged too so it's not like he's even stinky.

Eddyraisins · 14/08/2023 10:19

Yes! Which grotbags wouldn't?

McOrange · 14/08/2023 10:20

Jellybean23 · 14/08/2023 09:50

Regardless of how clean the previous occupant of the bed was, people dribble on the pillow in their sleep, their faces and bodies sweat. And loads of people don't sleep in pyjamas. Athlete's foot is contagious can be caught from contaminated bed linen.

Im not sure why you’re giving examples of things that I said very specifically I don’t do

I said I change the pillow cases

i said that i sleep in pyjamas

And I also know that I don’t have athletes foot

skgnome · 14/08/2023 10:21

It’s the bare minimum- clean bedding and clean towels for guests
I maybe have been guilty of not changing the linens in the spare room immediately after my parents visit - but then no one else will use that bed for weeks, and the linens will get changed before anyone else uses that bed

SistersNotCisters · 14/08/2023 10:22

Does anyone else here strip hotel beds before they leave so that at least the next person is likely to get a fresh bed? (Putting dirty sheets back on is not much easier than just putting the new stuff on)
I think this would be great for every single guest to do to stop manky, lazy hoteliers getting away with it.

saveforthat · 14/08/2023 10:24

Abra1t · 14/08/2023 10:12

I always change anything that touches the skin. I put a flat sheet under the duvet (and cover) after the first use so that I don’t have to change the duvet cover every time.
I don’t always change the bottom pillow cases after one night (if there are two pillows per person), just the top ones people actually put their faces and heads against.

But how do you know which pillowcases they have slept on? Many people swap them around in the night to stay cool.

CitadelOfChaos · 14/08/2023 10:25

I hope mil reads this. She doesn't change the sheets if it's family. Thing is DH burns hot and leaves linen looking like the Turin Shroud. I have had two kids, breast fed, mensturated and am now in hot flush menopause. I don't want to sleep in my own sheets, pretty certain my Sil and bil actually do mind rolling in my flaky dry skin from the previous weekend.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 14/08/2023 10:26

Abra1t · 14/08/2023 10:12

I always change anything that touches the skin. I put a flat sheet under the duvet (and cover) after the first use so that I don’t have to change the duvet cover every time.
I don’t always change the bottom pillow cases after one night (if there are two pillows per person), just the top ones people actually put their faces and heads against.

I always remove the top pillow and sleep with just the bottom one. You might want to start changing all pillow cases, it's not that much effort to change 2 extra pillow cases

Yoyoban · 14/08/2023 10:27

Abra1t · 14/08/2023 10:12

I always change anything that touches the skin. I put a flat sheet under the duvet (and cover) after the first use so that I don’t have to change the duvet cover every time.
I don’t always change the bottom pillow cases after one night (if there are two pillows per person), just the top ones people actually put their faces and heads against.

How do you know which pillow(s) people put their faces on? I only ever use one pillow when I'm sleeping and in general I'll take the top one off and put it somewhere else (often the floor since there's no where else to put it). But it depends on the pillow shapes - I'll choose which will be more comfortable. Or if it's winter and it's cold (I often get cold when I'm sleeping) I might use the spare pillow as an extra layer against my body.

Jellybean23 · 14/08/2023 10:28

Sorry, McOrange, I should have read your post more carefully.

cornflower21 · 14/08/2023 10:29

Of course!

PrrrplePineapple · 14/08/2023 10:31

I stayed with a friend once and could tell the sheets had not been changed since the last guest and HATED it. I would always think it was basic hygiene to make sure each guest had clean bedsheets.

HamstersAreMyLife · 14/08/2023 10:31

Were generally a grubby household and don't wash our sheets/towels as often as I see on MN! However for guests sheets are always changed. Even if they haven't been used but have been sat a while I've sometimes changed them. The exception was when my parents stayed weekly for a night and the bed wasn't used in between I did sometimes leave them a couple of weeks to save time and energy.

Keyworks · 14/08/2023 10:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

readbooksdrinktea · 14/08/2023 10:36

I can't imagine not changing the sheets every time for new guests. If they stay a week or more there's an extra set of bedding in there for them to change themselves, if they want, especially in the summer.

stbrandonsboat · 14/08/2023 10:36

One of the most yucky and miserable experiences whilst staying with the pils was one night as I was trying to get to sleep only to discover the pillowcase smelled of someone's drool 🤮 other relatives had recently been staying there and it was from them. I then wondered if the bedding ever got changed and I think I've been scrubbing myself with bleach ever since.