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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should you change the beds every time you have guests?

216 replies

homecomingposy · 14/08/2023 09:25

I’ve always thought it is absolutely the case that a guest should have clean bed linen when they come to stay. I’ve been doing it for years. Even tho it means tonnes of washing. So when I stayed over recently at ( very good) friends I found a dirty sock in the bed. Someone had stayed in it before me.
Plus, a month or so ago I stayed at another friend and had to brush out hairs from inside the bed and off the pillow. Which I then turned over. Now to clarify, I said nothing. Got on with it. But for some ( justifiable ?) reason, I feel a bit queasy about this.
am i the only one who changes the sheets each time ???

OP posts:
TrustyRusty68 · 14/08/2023 20:26

Yikes!! Fresh bedding EVERY time you have a guest stay over!!

Mumof2teens79 · 14/08/2023 20:28

How often do you have guests?
We don't have space to have guests very often, but even the kids cousins and friends get clean sheets, even if just for one night.

ChristmasCrumpet · 14/08/2023 20:32

Haven't rtft so this may have been addressed, but who else is in the host's house can be critical here.

I change sheets immediately after a guest has stayed. But unless it's like a year ago, and they need a freshen, they will be the clean sheets that then stay on for a new guest.

It's more than possible that without my realising, DTwins could shove one of their dirty socks under a pillow, or roll across it and leave hairs on the bed that I might not notice in a hurry.

Eldest DS disappears off in to various rooms on the phone to his friends. He could easily lay on it and leave hairs on the pillow, the night before. I'd like to think I'd notice, but hey.

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 20:43

Toddler101 · 14/08/2023 09:33

Different guests ALWAYS get clean sheets otherwise that's just grim.

The only time I don't change the guest bedding is if the same guests are coming to stay again very soon! Grandparents for example, they stay for one night then 1-1.5 weeks later they stay another night (and noone else in between). Any more than 2 weeks in between and they get clean sheets too 🙂

I don’t get the two week cut-off in this scenario. If I slept in a bed once and then returned to it a year later with the same sheet, pillowcase etc I used the first time round (AND no one else had slept in it in the interim) I would be totally fine with that!

AuntyMabelandPippin · 14/08/2023 20:43

I change the bed immediately after visitors leave. It might be a couple of months till our next visitors, but I know the bed is ready if anyone at all needs it.

We were once away somewhere where the owner hadn't told the agency he'd booked someone in for a couple of days before us. We got there at two in the morning to find dirty beds everywhere and no clean linen for me to change the beds. I got no sleep at all that night till I could ring the agency and give them what for.

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 20:46

Abra1t · 14/08/2023 10:12

I always change anything that touches the skin. I put a flat sheet under the duvet (and cover) after the first use so that I don’t have to change the duvet cover every time.
I don’t always change the bottom pillow cases after one night (if there are two pillows per person), just the top ones people actually put their faces and heads against.

So you have a sheet under the duvet and guests sleep under that? That doesn’t sound very comfy TBH! Also, how can you be sure they haven’t pushed the sheet down and just used the duvet?

tuvamoodyson · 14/08/2023 20:51

Yes.

tuvamoodyson · 14/08/2023 20:54

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 20:46

So you have a sheet under the duvet and guests sleep under that? That doesn’t sound very comfy TBH! Also, how can you be sure they haven’t pushed the sheet down and just used the duvet?

Show quote history

I have a flat sheet under my duvet….no problem with it being uncomfortable in anyway!

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 20:55

Ragwort · 14/08/2023 11:07

Yes, but equally I usually offer to take my own sheets if staying with someone, it's more convenient for them.
I don't change sheets after guests staying for just one night if my DS is going in the same bed ... as a Uni student I doubt he changed his sheets once a term so he can sleep in guest sheets Grin.

Offering to bring your own sheets when staying with someone is really not necessary IMO. Do you bring your own towel, mug and plate too?

UndercoverCop · 14/08/2023 20:59

Fresh bedding every time. I usually wash and change after they leave and then again before someone else stays, we don't have guests that often and there are occasions when DH or I sleep there, very early start, one of us is ill, his snoring pushes me to breaking point etc. I don't change them when we do that, I have no issue sleeping in the same sheets as DH , but I wouldn't expect guests to.

CatchHimDerry · 14/08/2023 20:59

Yep, we always change each time new guests. They are often siblings, and wouldn’t mind, but we do regardless.

Vinvertebrate · 14/08/2023 21:03

I caught scabies from a friend’s housemate because she didn’t wash the sheets. I was mortified. No excuse for not changing them.

JudgeJ · 14/08/2023 21:04

Iop · 14/08/2023 10:02

Grim. I always change the sheets between guests. Pretty sure that's normal.
But I have also discovered a (clean) sock stuck by static to my freshly washed and tumble-dried sheets on more than one occasion. Is it possible that the sock was just left in the machine from a previous load and your friend didn't notice it when they were making the bed?

I've also found stray objects inside duvet covers and only realised when I investigated the lump when I replace the cover.

Fordian · 14/08/2023 21:06

Interestingly I washed the sheets after guests, yesterday.

I hung them up to dry, then- picked hair off them as they dried! Not many, 10-15? 😳

If I hadn't spotted them, my next guest might assume I hadn't washed the sheets! 😳

Fordian · 14/08/2023 21:08

McOrange · 14/08/2023 09:33

I’m gonna go against the grain. I think it’s ok not to change them absolutely every time.

we have a spare room and occasionally I’ll sleep in there with clean sheets if the baby is having a rough night. If my parents came to stay the next night I won’t put fresh sheets on for them again, but I would switch pillow cases

what’s the harm - I’m not dirty, I sleep in pjs, about 8 hours in the bed and a clean pillow case is absolutely fine

Different. I'd sleep in lightly-used family used bedsheets.

Fordian · 14/08/2023 21:11

Many of us M-Oldies 😉 on here recall convos about people who changed their own sheets, and towels every single day!

Genuinely! T'was a thing!

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 21:14

Fordian · 14/08/2023 21:11

Many of us M-Oldies 😉 on here recall convos about people who changed their own sheets, and towels every single day!

Genuinely! T'was a thing!

Woah. Who has the time?! 😂

Fordian · 14/08/2023 21:21

.....'She doesn't change the sheets if it's family. Thing is DH burns hot and leaves linen looking like the Turin Shroud. I have had two kids, breast fed, mensturated and am now in hot flush menopause. I don't want to sleep in my own sheets, pretty certain my Sil and bil actually do mind rolling in my flaky dry skin from the previous weekend'....

Turin Shroud wins this conversation.

I spat my wine out! 😂

Doone21 · 14/08/2023 21:23

If its 1 night and family staying each time then no I won't bother, if its longer or a friend staying then yes clean sheets

belge2 · 14/08/2023 21:33

YUK fresh sheets everytime (unless teens friends and then I don't care!)

Aurea · 14/08/2023 21:42

I stayed at my PIL when I first met my husband. My MIL asked if I minded that she hadn't changed the bed sheets as some other guy had slept in the bed the night before. I felt I couldn't refuse.

The bedsheets at the top smelt of stinky armpits where he must have slept with his arms over the quilt. 🤮🤢

thorneyislanddoris · 14/08/2023 21:57

Totally agree with you OP.

My best friend lives 2 hours away so I usually stay over. She's very slack with bed changing. Once she told me that she hadn't changed the bed of the spare room but (adult) step daughter had only slept in it one night so it was OK. Step daughter was still there when I arrived and she clearly had a streaming cold. I told my friend Step daughter had a cold but she thought it was still Ok for me to sleep there! I put my hoodie over the pillowcase and slept on top of the duvet with my coat on me.

Then last time I went I was told the SDD had stayed a few nights there with her girlfriend. This time I insisted she change the bedding. She moaned a bit but did it. I told her next time I'd bring my own bedding!

When she comes to mine, she always has fresh bedding. I wouldn't dream of her or any other guest not having clean bedding. It's common courtesy.

Toddler101 · 14/08/2023 22:15

1jan2021 · 14/08/2023 20:43

I don’t get the two week cut-off in this scenario. If I slept in a bed once and then returned to it a year later with the same sheet, pillowcase etc I used the first time round (AND no one else had slept in it in the interim) I would be totally fine with that!

Show quote history

So you'd merrily sleep in a year-old dusty bed because "these same sheets were clean last year when I stayed once and noone else has stayed since" ?

If it was a year between uses, personally I'd make sure the bed would be stripped and the duvet packed away, probably in a vac bag.

It's not a hard and fast 2 weeks but generally not much more than that - some guests may have asthma, allergies etc, triggered by a dust. And besides the sheets won't smell clean after too long, either!

PrincessesRUs · 14/08/2023 22:23

I feel slightly different if it's family - I'm happy to sleep in a bed my mum or sister has slept in and I know they feel the same - anyone out side the immediate family (or a man!) and sheets need changing!!

Rocknrollstar · 14/08/2023 22:33

I do hope the people we go to stay with change the sheets!