So I live in a tourist area with DH and two DC. We are about to go camping for a week about four hours away. A few weeks ago BIL, wife and two kids asked when would be good to visit this month. I gave a few dates and said this weekend wouldn’t be good as we will be packing for said camping trip.
They have other friends in this area and said this weekend was the only one that worked. So i said that was fine. DH said he’d do all the camping prep (except he’s notorious for forgetting things so I will have to do it too). So then they asked if they could stay on for a couple of days after and use the house so they can see their friends. I said yes.
Then one of my parents died suddenly last week. Now we travel for the funeral the day after we get back from camping. I asked DH to cancel the visit. It was quite a stressful idea anyway and now I’m emotionally fragile. It took my three conversations with him but he did cancel. I didn’t realise that he’d said it was still fine to use the house when we have gone camping.
I had a message yesterday from SIL checking to see how I am. I said I’m overwhelmed, but ok. I listed all the things I need to do (funeral planning remotely, packing, getting stuff ready for the quick turn around when we get back - we get back from camping and then head off to the location of the funeral the next day - 6 hour drive). She is a lovely warm human being and was very empathic and then checked to see if it’s still ok to use the house. I said I didn’t realise they were still coming and really sorry I’ve not had chance to think about it and get linens etc sorted. She messaged back not to worry they are happy to make their own beds etc. no need to clean etc. Apologised - thought the brothers had been communicating. - turns out they had but badly - my DH said fine to use the house and expected BIL to get back to confirm. I assume BIL just thought the plan still stands so no need to confirm.
So I messaged SIL to ask if they have any camp beds/sleeping bags with them - no they haven’t. She has said ‘if it’s any stress we can see if we can stay in here’ - they have somewhere booked this weekend instead of staying with us.
So we have just about finished packing for holiday. I now need to try and figure out linen and send them key code etc. There are also specific instructions they need.
I am thinking though, in their position, I absolutely wouldn’t have still used the house. I would just book the other thing and say don’t worry about it. AIBU to feel a bit cornered into an added stress? DH just doesn’t get it.
To be clear they are lovely people but they are very laid back so probably don’t understand the stress of having someone else in the house.