Made MIL cry?!

[Didntmeanto6]

I have always had a clash with my MIL because I find her controlling and she often tries to undermine me. My DP (8 years) sees her every day in the morning and she was telling me that she sometimes makes him a packed lunch 🙄 I said he is a 43 year old man I'm sure he can organise his own lunch, she said "yes but me I love my son" (emphasising with her voice that it must be in contrast to me).
I began to lose my temper a little so I said "do you warm some milk for him too?" and she said "listen it's simple, I am the first woman of his life", and I said "true but I will be the last".
Then she started crying and ran out of the room.
Now DP is saying that was insensitive of me because she lost her husband 6 years ago.
I am considering telling him he needs to deal with this situation and tell his mother to back off.
What do you think? In case it's relevant we are all from the same non UK European country

''Dinner date?'' Why are you so threatened by your MIL?

If you ever have a son, I hope you will one day understand the bond between mothers and their sons 👍

I would do the same if my partner was so nasty to my widowed mother or father.

I think you and dp have very different values and you don't sound compatible long term this relationship will cause a lot of upset to you both (you three!)

Good for him! What was he doing wrong? He said he’d talk to her over a meal? What’s tfe problem with that?

Hope he enjoys it, you sound like a petulant five year old.

Unless the house is in your sole name though, he had the right to come back, even if you’ve got a dinner guest.

God I hate my phone with a passion. Never mind OP I don’t know what I was going to say now, I’m as angry with my stupid phone as you are with your MiL.😁

I know who I’d rather have dinner with and it’s not the OP.

"""I'm intolerant of one particular woman who tries to take space within my romantic relationship, tries to belittle me, and then acts like the victim when I react"""

Then don't react

And stop blaming MIL

DP is allowing all this to continue..... why don't you get angry at him?

It's good that he has this support to navigate exiting a toxic relationship.
I assume you won't be cooklking for your friend.

OP, am genuinely curious what you were hoping for from this thread. I don’t think you believe you were BU — certainly anytime someone suggests you were, you come back with a reason you weren’t — so I’m not sure why you’re even asking the question.

TBH, I’d struggle with your MIL, but I think you need to think about your behaviour too: at the end of the day, you can’t control her mindset (or behaviour); you can only change yours — and it seems to me that she’s trying to assert her claim and you’re trying to compete with her, with your DH as the ‘prize’. How does your DH feel about it? Do you talk to him about it?

They can have their dinner date in peace.

The way you speak about their dynamic is so odd. Adding the word 'date' for no reason. You're sort of projecting onto it that she's a threat to your (romantic) relationship, it's the way someone would speak about a female friend they felt was flirting with their partner / a potential other woman.

It's a bit creepy tbh.

I think you might be eating a lot of dinners with your friends at this rate.

MIL 1 - OP 0

With every post you’re making yourself look more and more jealous of the relationship your DP has with his mum. You don’t get on with her, but instead of sorting out between the two of you, you’re using the situation to try to drive a wedge between them. It won’t end well.

Quick question OP does he have his own special big boy packed lunch box that his mum bought for him and if so does it have his name and little stickers on the front???

😂😂😂

The more this thread goes on the more the MiL has my sympathies. Her behaviour may be a direct result of many years of having to deal with OP.

I do have a ''DIL'' {not married, but own a house together} - She's lovely..I am mindful though of not stepping on her toes.

The only reason her DP is in the middle, is because the OP went out of her way to put him there. She and MiL are grown women, so why can’t she do the adult thing and approach her to sort it out between the two of them, instead of deliberately putting him in a difficult position, in which she knows he can’t win whatever he does. Driving a wedge between mother and son isn’t going to solve anything, and if it continues I foresee the OP eating a lot of dinners with a friend after her DP has exited the relationship.

You asked him to sort it out with her. So he's going to do that. And it's wise for him to do so over a meal rather than just turning up at her door to 'have a discussion'.

But really, I don't see a future for you as a couple. He's certainly better off without you.

I thought this from the opening post, and the more the OP adds to it, the more likely it seems.

Where in the OP’s posts, has she indicated that he’s enjoying any of this ? He hasn’t engineered the situation, the OP has. And why is he a man child, just because he makes an effort to see his mum regularly - given that she’s widowed and there may be other contributing factors we’re not privy to ?

I laughed out loud at your response, absolutely savage (even if you didn't mean it that way). Probably should have taken the high road but i understand how difficult that is when mil is constantly trying to have some strange competition with you and the constant snide comments positioning you as some horrible person. Had to make very clear that romantic relationships and maternal relationships have very clear boundaries and i had no interest in taking on the latter because that's creepy and visa versa. There's space for two women in these precious mens lives. Plus fighting over a man is not something I'm prepared to do. Sounds like you have a DH problem. He's perpetuating this unhealthy dynamic. If he doesnt get it and set boundaries id personally rethink the relationship. Accepting a packed lunch every day from a parent is a bit weird as an adult. Let alone the rest.

Oh hilarious 🙄

I see everyone’s got their blinkers on now we’re piling on the OP. Did you ever stop to think that the type of weird enmeshed and manipulative relationship described here is not something anyone should be aspiring to?

Which thread are you reading, because it doesn’t sound like this one !!

@SplendidUtterly
😄Good Christmas present idea...for her 🫠