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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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32
WickedSerious · 14/08/2023 10:19

itsgettingweird · 14/08/2023 07:42

firstly they didn’t get any money for the story, they only spoke out to raise awareness of a problem they’ve encountered that they have no control over.

They've spoken out.

They've raised awareness.

They've put the story in the public eye.

Now the public have opinions on it.

If they'd have kept their stupid decision quiet like they have since a March when they took it then no one would be discussing it.

Yep,if you put your shit on the street don't be surprised when other people notice.

heyitsthistle · 14/08/2023 10:19

Why on earth hasn't the dad flown back to be with their abandoned 8 year old daughter? It's been months since they flew out!

This is certainly the most bizarre story I have ever heard. What were they thinking?

RoadSignFool · 14/08/2023 10:23

IWillNoLie · 14/08/2023 10:14

Says someone who had no entitlement to the nhs as they ‘lived overseas’ (nhs entitlement is based on UK residence, so paying taxes to contribute to the cost of it here) who used their ‘privilege’ to fly in and incur costs to the nhs before flying out again.

How do you know that @OhBeAFineGuyKissMe used the NHS? More likely that someone living overseas had private healthcare and gave birth in the Portland or similar.

Wallywobbles · 14/08/2023 10:26

@CatherinedeBourgh you do have to apply for French nationality at 18. I know countless kids that have missed out because an application was never made.

If only one parent is French there also has to be an application.

When I got French nationality my kids who were born there to a French dad but under 18 had to be accorded French nationality before I could apply. Despite having lived in France over 20 years.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/08/2023 10:27

I agree with a previous poster the " Raising Awareness " is a prelude to a Go Fund Me.

These champs are in the shit.

Catsmere · 14/08/2023 10:27

sashh · 14/08/2023 08:39

How does this fit with the 'be kind' narrative?

My thought exactly!

Mind you it does fit perfectly with Be Kind's raging hypocrisy.

PriamFarrl · 14/08/2023 10:33

Can someone start a new thread? I wouldn’t want to miss any updates.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/08/2023 10:36

And @Motherofkittycats the question we all want to know the answer to, does Clive have an ex wife in Stevenage?

Yes, yes and yes. 👍🏻

IWillNoLie · 14/08/2023 10:39

Abandoning Lisa Jewell for the moment and going more Jodi Piccoult though, I’m going to make David his twin brother, who later helped with a wee fertility issue. The delay in getting the DNA results is because Dave flew to Grenada, and when the Consul staff member wasn’t looking, Clive ran into the loo to switch places with identical-twin Dave for the test.

No need if identical twins….

Angrycat2768 · 14/08/2023 10:43

GrabbyGabby · 14/08/2023 09:51

And @Motherofkittycats the question we all want to know the answer to, does Clive have an ex wife in Stevenage?

And "Are you Lulla/Clive/Dave?"

chimamandafan · 14/08/2023 10:44

How do you know that @OhBeAFineGuyKissMe used the NHS? More likely that someone living overseas had private healthcare and gave birth in the Portland or similar.

No, not at all likely! I had friends who lived in Spain for years, who'd fly back to the UK to use the NHS which they were registered with at their daughter's home. Cheaper to fly back on easyJet for a few days than to pay to see a Spanish doctor. Brexit put paid to that. They had to become Spanish citizens.

Dixiechickonhols · 14/08/2023 10:44

It’s not a situation they’ve just found themselves in it’s a situation wholly of their own making.
Theres been several comments inc by me that it’s fortunate mum and baby appear to have emerged unscathed from situation. No one wishes mum or baby any harm.
Clive has contacted press and invited comment.
It’s in everyone’s interest that there are procedures in place. If anyone could rock up in a Caribbean country with a 3 day old baby and get a fast track British passport no questions asked that it would create an opportunity for people trafficking and illegal surrogacy.
The 8 yr old may appear happy as larry but will have been affected as she’s not seen her parents for 5 months. It’s a small town people will talk, school will probably have to raise safeguarding concerns. Poor girl may be teased. The other parents may not have known Clive has a dangerous driving conviction that could have repercussions for the girl eg no lift shares.
A situation someone finding themselves in would be a couple on holiday in St Lucia and wife going into prem labour at say 26 weeks.
They’d have travel insurance and hospital would issue form confirming birth. Then mum and dad register baby, stay in country while birth certificate and passport processed and fly home. Travel insurance would help with expediting eg if baby needed transferring to a more specialised hospital in another country. Totally different scenario.
It’s the elements entirely of their own creation that have meant baby Louisa still isn’t registered and has no passport.

brokenlore · 14/08/2023 10:52

Says someone who had no entitlement to the nhs as they ‘lived overseas’ (nhs entitlement is based on UK residence, so paying taxes to contribute to the cost of it here) who used their ‘privilege’ to fly in and incur costs to the nhs before flying out again.

That's not quite right though. I'm a Uk national, but worked over seas for three years, when I came home to visit family, I was absolutely entitled to use the NHS (luckily enough I didn't need too, but had I needed to I would have been able to). And I absolutely could have come back to the UK to give birth 'on the NHS', just because I lived over seas for a couple of years didn't stop me from being a UK citizen.
Whilst working overseas I had insurance cover, which in the event of an emergency would have covered any medivac expenses to bring me home and back for NHS treatment...again luckily I never needed it.

This couple have been very daft right from the start. I agree that if their 8 year old isn't missing them, then it's very suggestive of wider spread neglect, however I suspect she missed them massively, especially to begin with, poor wee might. It's one thing having to be separated from your children because 'needs must', it's quite another to hand your child over to a relative because of some selfish fantasy. The very fact they didn't have a passport for the 8 yr old speaks volumes, and shows extraordinary arrogance, and lack of planning. They haven't been left 'stateless' they haven't had their UK status stripped from them, yes they are victims, but only of their own stupidity.

RoadSignFool · 14/08/2023 10:54

chimamandafan · 14/08/2023 10:44

How do you know that @OhBeAFineGuyKissMe used the NHS? More likely that someone living overseas had private healthcare and gave birth in the Portland or similar.

No, not at all likely! I had friends who lived in Spain for years, who'd fly back to the UK to use the NHS which they were registered with at their daughter's home. Cheaper to fly back on easyJet for a few days than to pay to see a Spanish doctor. Brexit put paid to that. They had to become Spanish citizens.

But that was fraud. Right to use the NHS has always depended on residency. I fully remember all the residency forms I had to fill in at my antenatal checks. I don’t think that @OhBeAFineGuyKissMe was telling a story about her own deliberate fraud.

I lived overseas for years in an corporate job and had private healthcare for use worldwide including if anything arose while I was visiting the UK, (though I would have had to pay separately for antenatal and maternity; I was back in UK permanently before I had DS.)

Dixiechickonhols · 14/08/2023 10:55

heyitsthistle · 14/08/2023 10:19

Why on earth hasn't the dad flown back to be with their abandoned 8 year old daughter? It's been months since they flew out!

This is certainly the most bizarre story I have ever heard. What were they thinking?

I can’t fathom this either.
He’s got no money - some come back to uk and work and wire money to her.
8 yr old would be better off with one parent in country. Assuming if they couldn’t sort a passport for her they haven’t sorted anything legally re Auntie’s guardianship eg if Elizabeth needs surgery or even consenting to a school trip.
Better position to chase up bureaucracy, get paperwork, ask mp to intervene etc.
Definitely a better sob story angle - my wife and baby are stuck in Caribbean
I assume he’s stayed as he sails the boat but there’s got to be cheaper accommodation alternatives than chartering a boat.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/08/2023 11:00

I can’t fathom this either.
He’s got no money - some come back to uk and work and wire money to her.
8 yr old would be better off with one parent in country. Assuming if they couldn’t sort a passport for her they haven’t sorted anything legally re Auntie’s guardianship eg if Elizabeth needs surgery or even consenting to a school trip.
Better position to chase up bureaucracy, get paperwork, ask mp to intervene etc.
Definitely a better sob story angle - my wife and baby are stuck in Caribbean
I assume he’s stayed as he sails the boat but there’s got to be cheaper accommodation alternatives than chartering a boat.

Totally agree.

PepperRed · 14/08/2023 11:00

Almost unbelievable. Pillocks. Glad baby ok.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/08/2023 11:11

@PepperRed

I'd call that sentence a hole in one. 👏🏼

viques · 14/08/2023 11:18

LouHey · 13/08/2023 20:55

Identical twins have identical dna.

Unless one of them had had to have chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant from a total , but compatible stranger. ( the other twin refused to donate their bone marrow on religious grounds, or spite)

notimagain · 14/08/2023 11:19

@RoadSignFool

Right to use the NHS has always depended on residency.

There are some exceptions (e.g. foreign residents who are holders of S1's issued by virtue of retirement)

IWillNoLie · 14/08/2023 11:23

notimagain · 14/08/2023 11:19

@RoadSignFool

Right to use the NHS has always depended on residency.

There are some exceptions (e.g. foreign residents who are holders of S1's issued by virtue of retirement)

S1 forms men the UK pays for state healthcare in the country you live (like a permanent version of a GHIC), it doesn’t entitle you to nhs treatment.

notimagain · 14/08/2023 11:39

IWillNoLie · 14/08/2023 11:23

S1 forms men the UK pays for state healthcare in the country you live (like a permanent version of a GHIC), it doesn’t entitle you to nhs treatment.

Incorrect for retirees.

Jantlet · 14/08/2023 11:41

@brokenlore

“That's not quite right though. I'm a Uk national, but worked over seas for three years, when I came home to visit family, I was absolutely entitled to use the NHS (luckily enough I didn't need too, but had I needed to I would have been able to). And I absolutely could have come back to the UK to give birth 'on the NHS', just because I lived over seas for a couple of years didn't stop me from being a UK citizen.”

……. that ship sailed long ago @brokenlore. You have to show you have returned to the UK permanently. See:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/how-the-nhs-charges-overseas-visitors-for-nhs-hospital-care/how-the-nhs-charges-overseas-visitors-for-nhs-hospital-care

which includes this information:
UK nationals who no longer live in the UK
Because the NHS is a residency-based system, under NHS rules UK nationals who move abroad on a permanent basis lose their entitlement to free NHS healthcare.

(A UK friend who’d only moved abroad 12 months earlier, having previously worked and paid tax here, was not entitled to free care, she had to pay a set amount of a few thousand pounds. It’s galling.)

How charges for NHS healthcare apply to overseas visitors

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/how-the-nhs-charges-overseas-visitors-for-nhs-hospital-care/how-the-nhs-charges-overseas-visitors-for-nhs-hospital-care

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/08/2023 11:49

That novel is coming along nicely @viques Grin

notimagain · 14/08/2023 11:50

My slightly bad upthread..

NHS healthcare is not a universal right for expat retirees with S1s…but to paraphrase the covering letter I have from the NHS BA on file those that were issued with “retired S1s” who had moved to the EU prior to 31st Dec 2020 continue to be covered for NHS healthcare whilst in the UK.

It is certainly not a simple case of “not resident, so no treatment”.

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