I have no words - woman now stranded after wanting to give birth in St Lucia (on the beach...)

[Nanny0gg]

https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/uk-world-news/new-mum-stranded-after-being-8669669

What on earth were they thinking??

Good Lord, it'd be better for the baby if the DNA test showed she wasn't related to either of them.

They are clearly unable to manage themselves let alone children.

Well no, I can think of far worse scenarios! Leaving aside the obvious obstetric disasters, I’m sure giving birth on a boat must attract sharks. Haven’t they seen Jaws 2??

😂this is the most amusement I've had all week!

They are lucky they didnt end up like the people on "I shouldnt be alive." on Amazon Prime.

On a boat during Hurricane season is asking for fucking trouble.

In Death in Paradise (I know, I know) they send all their forensic lab stuff to Guadeloupe.

It isn't inconceivable that you'd be better with one well-equipped, jointly-funded lab than each island having their own.

Well they have
https://stlucia.loopnews.com/content/paternity-tests-be-made-compulsory

I think he took the test in Grenada didn't he?

That article is horrifying though.

I hope that when the DM report this properly they credit all of the MN sleuths!

Did this make anyone else think of 'Louisa' in the 'why mummy drinks' books?? Definitely the type of mad thing she would do...

(But in all seriousness I hope things are sorted out for the children involved, none of this is their fault).

I can image the DM are wetting themselves with glee as the Mumsnet detectives have done all the leg work for them.

I’m just grateful we haven’t heard anything about EPISODE II where they try to sail back across the Atlantic.

Clive’s thinking 🤔 Air fare is £6k. I’ve got a boat. Already escaped a hurricane and delivered a baby. I’m invincible!!

Ha ha yes. Rodney Bay too

What a pair of utter morons. Their poor kids.🏝

...and even if the 8 year old did go, was she supposed to sit and watch the sunset as her mum gave birth?

It seems like they had no intention of taking the 8yo and cooked (yes that is cooked. It isn't a typo!) it up so that they couldn't. Which on the face of it is appalling parenting, especially now that the mother seems to be using her devastation at being away from her daughter as some kind of bargaining tool.

But I suspect that the girl is and has been far better off where she is, assuming the aunt is capable of looking after her properly.

I remember going to see the seal colony at Donna Nook in Lincolnshire where you can see the mums and pups close up from the path. The grass is littered with placentas and magpies, crows and big gulls come swooping in to have a good feast. The Wildlife Trust volunteers told us foxes sneaked in at night too.

Given the appalling noise some of the seals were making, you could hide in the dunes and give birth and moan and groan to your hearts content with no human ever knowing you were there.

Which is ironic as the Island of guardelope is where the fictional island of Saint Marie is filmed!

I've just read the article and I too think the questions asked by the authorities are key. What if she didn't birth that child,what if the child isn't theirs and it was all a ploy to get someone else's child and register it as theirs. Why else would they set themselves up in such a questionable situation. DNA check is key.

I wonder if the hospital examined the mum post birth? Maybe they figured it was unnecessary given how many days postpartum she was.

I'm surprised by the swimsuit photos of her with the newborn. I guess the baby is strategically placed to cover a residual bump and she can't have ever been that large to be allowed on a flight at 35 weeks with a one way ticket. I'm also surprised she felt comfortable wearing a swimsuit - personally with lochia I'd have wanted something more covering ( and more layers).

As I'm hinting the photos make me wonder if she really was the mum, but I can't see how it makes sense if she isn't!

Yet somehow they could afford to go to St. Lucia....
It is true what they say about Guardian Angels that watch over children and fools; because the catalogue of things that could have gone tragically wrong is vast. All because these fools wanted to 'out-instagram' their pals back in blighty 'with just the best natural birth pic ever - squeeeee!!'.
Honestly, get a grip.
Which Social Services may have on the children before too long....

Oh, that is a very good ( and very dark ) point you have made there...after mine were born I had a bump for a while and was not 'swimwear safe' with lochia for a while... oh crumbs, that's a very good, very creepy thought...just eww....

If Clive David FitzCrashly-Gurzhiiman has children from a previous relationship, do we think he is paying maintenance? Or is the Stevenage mum having to get on with it alone?

(Mind you, any exs of his dodged a bullet. The PP who said, "I don't think I'd want him as a birth partner. Let alone a life partner. Or even on the other side of a seesaw" made me snort).

Remember that the baby was born in late April and we don’t know when these pictures were taken. I don’t think the baby looks as though it’s fourteen weeks (which it would be of the pictures were bang up to date) but it doesn’t look like a newborn either. And the mother is a yoga teacher so likely to have rock hard abs.

I came across an article onlineabout this today and couldn't believe what I was reading. Why on earth would someone want to give birth on a beach. The stupidity of them. I hope for all their sakes they get home soon.

I searched my fields. I searched my barns. I searched my house and my closets and cupboards and under every bed and table. I searched behind every chair and sofa and potted plant.

I was unable to locate a single fuck. I don’t have a fuck to give - so sorry.