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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay in a job that's really tough going for the money?

176 replies

Hop27 · 10/08/2023 22:38

I appreciate I'm in a fortunate position...but. I've found myself in a very good job, but with it comes long long hours, weekend work stress and general grind and I dislike it more that love it. But I've managed to gain equity and we are going through massive growth so I could end up with a very sizeable financial reward over the next 10 years 'if' we achieve our forecasts. My salary is more than I ever thought I'd be in the position to earn. DH, DSS and I have a really nice lifestyle. Through work I get lots of bonuses as we are privately owned, and some 'personal expenses' are covered by work.
We could live on one wage, either mine or DH but lifestyle would move if I wanted to make a change. I wouldn't get as strong an equity position if I moved firm in the same industry, and if I'm honest it would be the same expectation. I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs, so at least I'm benefiting financially. I'm early 40's do I just grind out the next 10 years and reap the rewards? Get DSS through uni, house deposit or do I chase a pipe dream of being happy in my work?

OP posts:
NalafromtheLionKing · 18/08/2023 07:33

Hop27 · 17/08/2023 21:44

Thank you to everyone's advice and I apologise if it was tone deaf, it was meant to be but this had massively helped me look at my situation objectively.
I have a PA and project support, I don't have help at home we have done previously but we don't currently - we don't hugely need it. It's only DH and I mainly, so we don't make a huge mess. We haven't been able to have kids, maybe that was the price we paid for this.
I do have a life outside of work, I make time for me daily even if it feels like a rush or I need to get up at dawn to fit it in, but I don't have loads of 'down time' DH and I have regular 'date' nights and always make time for each other even if it's an hour a day.
I'm not crying or having panic attacks at work, it's just a grind and under constant pressure but if I truly honest I'm guilty of taking on too much. I have imposter syndrome so probably try to compensate for that. The saddest thing about this thread as it's left me feeling hugely guilty for my salary.
Why shouldn't I take the money for now, plenty of people (men) do? I do a valuable job and contribute to society with the work we deliver, so if I don't take the money to benefit my family - someone else will.

Of course you should take the money, just make sure you keep enough of it aside to reap the rewards of a more comfortable life later.

Is it too late to try fertility treatment? I sense a sadness about not having your own DC. They would have to make allowances for you to have mat leave/time with a baby and maybe you could then have your cake 🎂 and eat it.

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