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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay in a job that's really tough going for the money?

176 replies

Hop27 · 10/08/2023 22:38

I appreciate I'm in a fortunate position...but. I've found myself in a very good job, but with it comes long long hours, weekend work stress and general grind and I dislike it more that love it. But I've managed to gain equity and we are going through massive growth so I could end up with a very sizeable financial reward over the next 10 years 'if' we achieve our forecasts. My salary is more than I ever thought I'd be in the position to earn. DH, DSS and I have a really nice lifestyle. Through work I get lots of bonuses as we are privately owned, and some 'personal expenses' are covered by work.
We could live on one wage, either mine or DH but lifestyle would move if I wanted to make a change. I wouldn't get as strong an equity position if I moved firm in the same industry, and if I'm honest it would be the same expectation. I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs, so at least I'm benefiting financially. I'm early 40's do I just grind out the next 10 years and reap the rewards? Get DSS through uni, house deposit or do I chase a pipe dream of being happy in my work?

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 15/08/2023 18:26

It depends on what you value most. And it is actually OK to value money most...but perhaps not more than your health.

Ultimately we all want to be happy. You are financially set but are you happy?

InSpainTheRain · 15/08/2023 18:26

I was in a similar position - I have stayed whilst my 2 DS were at Uni. Now I have a countdown in place to my resignation as they have just graduated!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 15/08/2023 18:28

TippledPink · 10/08/2023 22:50

I am in a similar position although room to go higher. Most I have ever earnt, just moved with massive mortgage and love my house! But I cry almost every day at work, had a panic attack this morning. It's not safe and I keep reporting it but get told I have to get on with it. Feel like a failure if I quit so soon after getting a promotion. So I am sticking it out for maybe 6 months and will need to reassess my options following that.

OMG, you poor thing. Life should be better than crying every day at work, and panic attacks, shouldn't it? Everything seems so tough these days, for your average working stiff. Don't feel like a failure, getting the life/work balance right is not easy for everyone. I wish you all the best. No words of wisdom, I'm afraid, it took me 15 years post-university to find a job I enjoyed and which was also incredibly well paid, but then I met my husband and changed countries and life-style completely (bad move but let's not go there!).

User5653218 · 15/08/2023 18:36

I'm not at the crying at work stage, but I constantly feel like I can't manage the workload. Going into the weekend, I feel like I need to work both days to try to catch up

I dont think that's worth £40k. For the next 10 years? Good luck to you

Greengrassohla · 15/08/2023 18:39

I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs

I think a lot of people tell themselves this, to make themselves feel better about their own choices, but I love my job. I also have very little respect for people who don’t love their jobs. I see it is a waste of a life.

GorillaInBikini · 15/08/2023 18:40

Have you tried to address the workload problem, i.e. asked for extra resource or a reduction in scope? Also in consulting and I feel you but I do generally enjoy it.

Couldyounot · 15/08/2023 18:42

How much more of you are they going to want for that extra £40k?

Plus, a decade before you can cash out properly seems a very long time, particularly in your sector.

Summerrainagain1 · 15/08/2023 18:42

Greengrassohla · 15/08/2023 18:39

I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs

I think a lot of people tell themselves this, to make themselves feel better about their own choices, but I love my job. I also have very little respect for people who don’t love their jobs. I see it is a waste of a life.

This attitude grates on me a little, I have to say. I don't LOVE my job. I wouldn't do it for free. But I enjoy it most of the time - sometimes it's boring and stressful though - and I certainly enjoy the benefits it brings me. I think a lot of people get deprssed about this idea that if they don't passionate love their job their are wasting their lives. It's ta little like with relationships really isn't it? They aren't subshine and roses every single day in teh long term, that doesn't mean they aren't worth doing.

CoolShoeshine · 15/08/2023 18:50

Could you accept a lower pay rise but ask for a PA at work so that you can work civilised hours in future?

MsCactus · 15/08/2023 18:54

What is the salary? 100k or more like 300k? I actually think the salary amount matters for roles like this.

Tbh I think the rewards need to be exceedingly good to give up so much of your life.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 15/08/2023 18:57

Greengrassohla · 15/08/2023 18:39

I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs

I think a lot of people tell themselves this, to make themselves feel better about their own choices, but I love my job. I also have very little respect for people who don’t love their jobs. I see it is a waste of a life.

You don't know how lucky you are. My husband was the same, until he retired. He was lucky enough to be passionate about a hobby which, thanks to his fortuitous circumstances, led to a well-paid career which he enjoyed for all his working life, apart from when office politics became involved. The majority of the rest of us poor saps are not so lucky, unless we have a vocation or a chosen profession which comes easily to us, depending on our personal circumstances, we are stuck with doing a job which gets us through and pays the bills. A waste of life, indeed - you really have no comprehension of how hard it is to find a job one is capable of doing, good at, and pays well. You are really lucky and you sound immensely patronising and unempathetic. I'm quite cross.

3luckystars · 15/08/2023 19:01

Give it time, if you still feel this stressed and upset next year then the money is not worth your peace, but every new job brings stress so you need to give it a chance before you decide.

Rollonsept · 15/08/2023 19:04

Well that was a quick turn around. To be honest I think it sounds like you want the best of both worlds. Is that you want to love your job and earn a very high salary. Or is the stress affecting your mental health? Because if it is that is serious and my head wouldn't be turned my any type of bracelet.

The more you earn the money you spend.

monicagellerbing · 15/08/2023 19:06

What sort of job is 'private consultancy' sounds like one of those non-jobs that pay a fortune for people to use phrases like 'thinking out of the box'

Fuckingfuming1 · 15/08/2023 19:07

I’m sure people I’ve already come on inside this for equity is literally like a bag of magic beans until it’s realised. However, I do have an extremely sad story about somebody who left a company six months before it floated and missed out on £11 million back in 2003. That must sting.

SilentHedges · 15/08/2023 19:13

Hop27 · 15/08/2023 12:43

I'm going to go wild on my next pay, it's being back dated. Then decide.
Not going to lie I've looked at Cartier jewellery today 😂

In your position, the LAST thing I'd be doing is looking at Cartier jewellery. In fact, make that never, its meaningless lumps of metal.

"The best thing money can buy is freedom". Invest as much as you can into pensions and investments, dig that escape route out of the prison compound.

I'm in a readonably high paying job, certainly for what I do, and I live on a fraction of it, the rest goes into pensions, savings and chunking down the mortgage. If you are not at the crying stage, then stick it out short term and stockpile cash. If you're wasting money on pointless luxury items, then you're wasting your salary and time, and you might as well leave.

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2023 19:15

SilentHedges · 15/08/2023 19:13

In your position, the LAST thing I'd be doing is looking at Cartier jewellery. In fact, make that never, its meaningless lumps of metal.

"The best thing money can buy is freedom". Invest as much as you can into pensions and investments, dig that escape route out of the prison compound.

I'm in a readonably high paying job, certainly for what I do, and I live on a fraction of it, the rest goes into pensions, savings and chunking down the mortgage. If you are not at the crying stage, then stick it out short term and stockpile cash. If you're wasting money on pointless luxury items, then you're wasting your salary and time, and you might as well leave.

Show quote history

Cartier holds its value and sometimes appreciates. Just saying.

wearealldifferent · 15/08/2023 19:22

Hop27 · 11/08/2023 22:06

I've had 1 job that I LOVED, it was creative but the money was awful and at the time I hated how people perceived me because of what I did. My ex and friends were all professional and looked down on me, so I pushed myself to make changes.
I'm not at the crying at work stage, but I constantly feel like I can't manage the workload. Going into the weekend, I feel like I need to work both days to try to catch up 🫤

For what it's worth, I went down the creative road. Have had - externally, anyway, a shit load of success because of my profile. The reality is the financial side has been appalling. I've had to support it with other work. And now, I'm going through a total creative ennui, so feel like I have neither the creative success nor the money.

That said, I've lived life on my own terms. At the expense of a massive salary (if I hadn't 'gone creative', I would have def been able to smash a career and earn a lot, I was very qualified for a certain industry) but I've made peace with that. The kids have seen a lot of me (too much, prob), as I've always worked at home and I've been able to take time off when I've liked.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 15/08/2023 19:26

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2023 19:15

Cartier holds its value and sometimes appreciates. Just saying.

Show quote history

So do many other luxury branded items under the right circs. Doesn't make it a good idea to indiscriminately comfort-shop those at the expense of a solid financial escape plan, either.

Fuckingfuming1 · 15/08/2023 19:29

SilentHedges · 15/08/2023 19:13

In your position, the LAST thing I'd be doing is looking at Cartier jewellery. In fact, make that never, its meaningless lumps of metal.

"The best thing money can buy is freedom". Invest as much as you can into pensions and investments, dig that escape route out of the prison compound.

I'm in a readonably high paying job, certainly for what I do, and I live on a fraction of it, the rest goes into pensions, savings and chunking down the mortgage. If you are not at the crying stage, then stick it out short term and stockpile cash. If you're wasting money on pointless luxury items, then you're wasting your salary and time, and you might as well leave.

Show quote history

Absolutely this I was reading somewhere that if you start your pension 35 and put £100 a month away by the time you retire you’ll have £1 million in the pension pot if you wait just 10 years to start things you’ll have 450,000

Fuckingfuming1 · 15/08/2023 19:29

Apologies, start your pension at 25 and you’ll end up with 1 million by saving £100 a month

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2023 19:35

BiscuitsandPuffin · 15/08/2023 19:26

So do many other luxury branded items under the right circs. Doesn't make it a good idea to indiscriminately comfort-shop those at the expense of a solid financial escape plan, either.

Show quote history

You missed the point. You can always sell it - sometimes at a profit. Good jewellery is an investment.

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 15/08/2023 19:37

Just googled what private consultancy is and I don’t even understand the answer so I think it’s safe to say that it’s not the job for me.

SoShallINever · 15/08/2023 19:42

I've just cut my hours at work after finding out that DH has a progressive medical condition.
We have scrimped and saved so much over the years, so that we could have a blast in retirement but that has been ripped away from us.
My advice would be live for today.

JamieFrasersfurrysporran · 15/08/2023 19:44

SoShallINever · 15/08/2023 19:42

I've just cut my hours at work after finding out that DH has a progressive medical condition.
We have scrimped and saved so much over the years, so that we could have a blast in retirement but that has been ripped away from us.
My advice would be live for today.

I'm so sorry