Page 2 | To stay in a job that's really tough going for the money?

Hop27 · 2023-08-10T21:38:23+00:00

I appreciate I'm in a fortunate position...but. I've found myself in a very good job, but with it comes long long hours, weekend work stress and general grind and I dislike it more that love it. But I've managed to gain equity and we are going through massive growth so I could end up with a very sizeable financial reward over the next 10 years 'if' we achieve our forecasts. My salary is more than I ever thought I'd be in the position to earn. DH, DSS and I have a really nice lifestyle. Through work I get lots of bonuses as we are privately owned, and some 'personal expenses' are covered by work. We could live on one wage, either mine or DH but lifestyle would move if I wanted to make a change. I wouldn't get as strong an equity position if I moved firm in the same industry, and if I'm honest it would be the same expectation. I assume most people don't 'love' their jobs, so at least I'm benefiting financially. I'm early 40's do I just grind out the next 10 years and reap the rewards? Get DSS through uni, house deposit or do I chase a pipe dream of being happy in my work?

RockGirl · 15/08/2023 13:48

I don't mind stress and high workloads, can we swap, please? :)

Fluffyhoglets · 15/08/2023 13:55

I've got stress and a high workload for an annual salary less than your payrise.

I'd stay in the well paying job tbh!

GreekGod · 15/08/2023 14:02

I would Stick with it. Financial security for me is paramount and I want great holidays. Work hard play hard mentality. I was in a very similar position to you. Those years passed by so quick and they were never as bad as we think at the time. I still had great holidays with DH and DC and we are far better off. All jobs have their problems

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/08/2023 14:06

£40k pay rise after you told them the job was really tough and you were working lots of overtime?

They've bought you off.

apigandasheepandsomerabbits · 15/08/2023 14:14

OP I’ve actually just quit my well-paid, stressful job for a local part-time role on half the salary! It was the right decision for me, however I was “only” earning 70k and I suspect you are in a different league.

One question though - how much money do you actually need to save the deposit for a house and get your DS through uni? I know that both these things are expensive by normal standards but with the amount you seem to be earning I’d expect them to be achievable pretty quickly.

Moirarosesgarden · 15/08/2023 14:19

I’m earning half what I was two years ago but so much happier. Working from home, short term contracts, 3/4 days a week. I really believe that once you earn a certain amount (I.e enough to pay the boring stuff but also some fun money and savings) that the extra money really isn’t worth the constant stress and worry. If you can handle stress then that’s another matter but I’m a worrier and it was affecting my life. I now know what level I’m comfortable at and am excelling at that level.

TheLurpackYears · 15/08/2023 14:24

You need to plan ahead, not spunk it on labels. You work hard for 10 years, you put a man and his child in a fabulous financial position and then he's had enough of the marrige and half of it is his. Do the work, but make sure he cant leave with the money.

TheFireflies · 15/08/2023 14:28

Given my entire salary is about the same as your pay rise and I’m still strung out with stress but can’t afford to change jobs, I suppose the answer to your question is yes.

angelcake20 · 15/08/2023 14:29

Fluffyhoglets · 15/08/2023 13:55

I've got stress and a high workload for an annual salary less than your payrise.

I'd stay in the well paying job tbh!

This!

UglyBella · 15/08/2023 14:33

Will Cartier jewellery really make you happier?

How about being less stressed and being able to actually enjoy weekends with your friends and family?

You only have one life.

floribunda18 · 15/08/2023 14:33

I've had some jobs that were making me ill. Constant stress, really unhappy, depression, picking up every bug under the sun, putting weight on- I knew at some point they would be the death of me, either I'd have a heart attack or similar, and I even had suicidal thoughts- no job is worth that.

But I think if you are coping with the pressure and hours and enjoy the lifestyle then go for it. I just know for me I need a balance and a break and am prepared to accept less money for this.

Dilemma8188 · 15/08/2023 14:33

I think it's very sad that people looked down on you when you were doing the job you loved and I feel for you if those are the people in your life. I work in the arts,don't get paid particularly well but I enjoy myself, get to spend lots of time with my kids. I do hate that everything here is expensive and we are punished for not being interested in dull and stressful jobs that pay very well. I'm fortunate in that we are in a position to go live abroad so this won't be an issue. But I do wish people here wouldn't value extreme wealth above all else... Good luck to you either way!

LostAtTheCrossRoad · 15/08/2023 14:35

Given your likely salary league, invest in outsourcing as much home life stuff as you possibly possibly can - gardener, house keeper, cleaner, get a PA, meal delivery, chef/cook etc etc. Get rid of anything that takes energy on top of your job if you can. Don't spunk on labels yet, set yourself up so that you can manage the next ten years without a breakdown.

FoodFann · 15/08/2023 14:37

Seek happiness and a balance now

Daffodilwoman · 15/08/2023 14:42

I would stay. Buy in help such as cleaners, decorators, those food delivery services which supply the ingredients to make a complete meal etc etc.
You are very fortunate many people work long hours for terrible pay.

Toooldtoworry · 15/08/2023 14:44

Seen your updates @Hop27 I'm mid 40s and I'd probably stay if I were you but I'd aim for early retirement if possible.

Hocuspocusnonsense · 15/08/2023 14:46

i think it’s a tough one. The money must be such a pull but another 10 years is not just another 10 years in this job, it’s also 10 years of your life. It’s 10 years of your life that will have passed and you can’t get back. How much is that worth?

Hiw much money do you need to be happy?

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/08/2023 14:49

I am of the enjoy your life now camp (because it really is later than you think) - but then my whole annual salary is only £25k more than your payrise. But my job is enjoyable, makes a difference, I don't work crazy hours and my employer cares about my wellbeing. That is very important to me.

TBH most people don't need to work insane hours. At my last job we had a director who had come from a consultancy like you and she was insane - sending off emails at 2am, asking for rewrites of reports to be turned around over night, requesting insanely detailed briefings for fairly unimportant meetings - she made everyone miserable and didn't achieve much more that directors who worked normal hours. HR had to take her aside in the end and tell her to calm the fuck down.

floribunda18 · 15/08/2023 14:53

Hocuspocusnonsense · 15/08/2023 14:46

i think it’s a tough one. The money must be such a pull but another 10 years is not just another 10 years in this job, it’s also 10 years of your life. It’s 10 years of your life that will have passed and you can’t get back. How much is that worth?

Hiw much money do you need to be happy?

It may well be worth it if it means early retirement though and getting to actually do more things she would like to do. I'm working full time now while I can so I can pay off my mortgage by 55 while funding kids at university and build up a good pension.

It helps to have something to aim for.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 15/08/2023 14:56

Your pat rise is double my salary 🤣🤣

No job is worth being stressed and making yourself ill over but this does sound like a very good job.
It sounds like you could retire early and have the financial means to enjoy your retirement, whereas if you left you may not be able to retire early.

Could you use the extra money to hire a cleaner and things, so you don’t have to worry too much about other stuff.

It isn’t good that you are working 7 days a week and I would try and reduce this.
Could you work a bit extra during the evenings so you can then switch off during the weekend.

Middlelanehogger · 15/08/2023 14:57

Is your job something that could be transferrable to, say, board member / non-exec roles, or independent consulting? Something that could still maintain a "high professional" salary but with more manageable hours, even if you had to give up on the massive equity cheque at the end?

Good luck either way would love to be in your position when I'm your age!

sarah419 · 15/08/2023 14:59

if you chase the pipe dream you may be happy with the work but the compensation for it may make you miserable / feel burn out etc depending on what the position is!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/08/2023 15:02

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/08/2023 14:06

£40k pay rise after you told them the job was really tough and you were working lots of overtime?

They've bought you off.

For that sort of money as a mere payrise, I'd be asking them if there's an additional allowance payable for offering them my soul as well.

Fuck it, keep stacking up the savings, pay off the mortgage if you haven't already, make sure there's fully paid up health insurance and keep the fuck going until you decide 'bollocks to this, I'm going to sail around the world/piss off on a nine month yoga retreat/become a unicorn mane stylist and live in a narrow boat on the Grand Union Canal where I'll feature on Gardeners' World as somebody who lives almost entirely offgrid other than Ocado deliveries'

OttilieKnackered · 15/08/2023 15:05

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/08/2023 14:49

I am of the enjoy your life now camp (because it really is later than you think) - but then my whole annual salary is only £25k more than your payrise. But my job is enjoyable, makes a difference, I don't work crazy hours and my employer cares about my wellbeing. That is very important to me.

TBH most people don't need to work insane hours. At my last job we had a director who had come from a consultancy like you and she was insane - sending off emails at 2am, asking for rewrites of reports to be turned around over night, requesting insanely detailed briefings for fairly unimportant meetings - she made everyone miserable and didn't achieve much more that directors who worked normal hours. HR had to take her aside in the end and tell her to calm the fuck down.

But that is still twice the median wage!

Mumsanetta · 15/08/2023 15:10

Well done on your pay rise! There are few jobs that offer high financial rewards and have minimal stress. I would stay for another 10 years until you can cash out but begin seriously saving and planning my retirement. If you retire in your early 50s with financial security and your children taken care I think it will be worth it but that might mean banking the money for the Cartier watch!