AIBU to be pissed off at sick colleague

[RoseElla]

This might sound bitchy, have name changed and will change some details so it’s not too outing to the person, as I’m just looking to vent and see if it’s reasonable as my other colleague is so OTT sympathetic to the point it winds me up.

colleague has been working at company about 18 months. Has had around 10 episodes of sickness with the last one being a week long. The company don’t seem to be following regular sickness rules (we go by scoring) and she is so far over the threshold it’s unbelievable. She has said it’s all for the same stomach issue and it’s under investigation and our manager has basically told HR they don’t ever need to flag it.

im just shocked tbh never have I had an employer be so unbothered. In my last jobs they would be trying to get her out and I get that sounds harsh but it affects every one, especially me. We are in an office role so we are sitting down all day I’m sure there could be some adjustments made just so the workload is taken off me a bit, even doing some from home but it’s just nothing.

AIBU to think 10+ episodes is silly in 18 months? Or at least silly for a company to still entertain it?

Think you're being given a rough ride here, OP. Obviously YABU to know anything about someone's private medical conditions.

But YANBU that this comes with massive knock on consequences to everyone else.

Either you're capable of the job, or you're not. And if you're not, then time to get rid.

Years and years ago I had a terrible cough that I just could not shift. I'd had bad cold, and was left with the bastard cough from hell...I was still coughing like I smoked 100 a day 4 months later.

Sometimes at work I'd nearly choke trying to suppress it because I knew how fucking annoying it was. One night a smart arsed manager went pass my desk when I has having a really bad coughing attack and said 'It's okay FreeRider, we know you aren't well, you don't have to do it for my benefit'...

I had cancer. My best friend there (who apart from my husband and HR was the only person who at that time knew) wanted to go after him and punch him in the face.

Instead I went straight to HR, made a complaint, got signed off by my oncologist for 6 months...and my solicitor 'persuaded' HR that it needed to be on full pay. I handed in my notice a week before the 6 months ended.

Either you're capable of the job, or you're not. And if you're not, then time to get rid.

This kind of attitude is the reason we have the Equality Act.

You can't just "get rid" of someone if the Equality Act applies @ginmakesmegrin , fortunately.

If OP had asked AIBU to be hacked off at an increase in workload due to staff absence / shortage that management was refusing to address then they'd probably be getting a lot of support. But having a go at an ill colleague and calling absences "silly" is not a good look.

I can understand your perspectives and frustrations, but sometimes people keep things confidential and only give x story instead of the real one, which is why sometimes it's????

So as I said Not all adjustments are reasonable. Its only the reasonable ones that employers must make available

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Nothing you’ve said suggests that they’re giving you more work than you are paid to do. If her sickness meant you were paid for 40 hours and routinely working 60, that’s a different matter. But if you’re just busier than some other people but still not being asked to do any more than is reasonable for one person - that’s just how it goes, and is quite fair. I’d far rather be busy at work!

The problem is not all workplaces have the capacity to cover long term absences. Especially when there’s more than one person in the office who is regularly off as is the case in my civil service job. Right now I have a new team member (new to my team, not the office) who turned up for the first couple of days in the team, has been off the rest of the week and will be off for the next three weeks. Her attendance history is appalling. I’m emailing my team leader every day documenting the issues and my extra workload.

Being civil service there’s no budget for temporary cover so guess who has to help cover her work? This is the third team member in 18 months who is off more than they’re in. Being the ‘reliable one’ is exhausting. We perform an essential service so just letting the work pile up doesn’t work either (although that’s what I’ve done this week).

Before anyone asks, yes, I’m looking for a new job. I’m over covering for people who hardly ever turn up. I’m not being a bitch or uncaring it’s just the way it is.

Just to mention, I have a stomach issue called ulcerative colitis. It took over 3 years, multiple flare-ups and three different consultants before I was properly diagnosed and put on a treatment plan which then took 6 months to work. It's really not inconceivable that this will be a long process which is probably distressing and maybe life impacting to her. So maybe some sympathy might be in order.

Agree. And I'd far rather be busy at work than dealing with a long running health condition, no diagnosis, no effective treatment yet, unsympathetic colleagues and concerns of being dismissed due to a poor sick record and how I would find another job with that record - worrying how I would pay my rent/mortgage, take care of my kids....

Having seen my niece with this cloud hanging over her at work for years, regularly in tears from the way both colleagues and managers treated her, before she was eventually given her ulcerative colitis diagnosis I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I am in awe of her endurance to keep going and keep working in a hostile work environment when her own body was at war with her.

But if folk are unable to work their designated hours because of ill health then the answer has eventually got to be faced by reduced hours or early retirement.Colleagues cannot be expected to provide cover indefinitely at a risk possibly to their own health and well being. Chronic absenteeism is a problem in many work places. The more generous the sick leave usually the higher rate of sickness.

Employees can speak to their managers about their workload. If they don't like the answer that is between them and their manager and if they are not satisfied they look for another job.

The company has said the job the OP and their colleague do is not enough for two people FT, so the company has chosen, for now, to use the flexibility they have available to support the unwell colleague. The OP is doing more than her colleague is, but still within the expected workload of one person. She is not picking up more work that would be expected for the role or she is being paid for. She does not appear to have any cause for complaint other than things that are none of her business or not believing her colleague is ill and wanting to do less than a days work.

The ill colleague has a health issue, it is between them and their manager how it is handled and how long they are willing to support the employee, it is absolutely no one else's business. Management and OH with have much more information on the employees condition and what they are trying to do to resolve it.

If folk who are unable to work their designated hours have a disability as defined under the Equality Act, the law states that reasonable adjustment needs to be made so that their disability doesn’t put them at a disadvantage. Flexible working is just one of the options. Early retirement is an absolute last resort as there are many disabilities which can and will be managed successfully in the workplace with a bit of sensitivity and lateral thinking. And the generosity of the sick leave is of little relevance when you’re trying to manage a serious condition or disability at work. I agree that the strain should not be taken indefinitely by colleagues, but that’s down to management.

Well that’s a given isn’t it ? It depends on why the employer considers it unreasonable. And if a refusal to make an adjustment puts or leaves a disabled employee at a disadvantage because of their disability, then a tribunal has to decide whether the employer acted reasonably or not. So it’s not as straightforward as it seems. What’s reasonable to one person may not be to another - that’s why the Equality Act is in place with guidance.

If it's the same problem with ongoing issues as a manager I would exclude it from ongoing sickness reviews. Your colleagues private health concerns as harsh as it sounds are none of your business. Even if it's impacts your working life. Your manager/HR department must have done an assessment and have made allowances going forward.

Maybe the more senior members of staff know more about the illness that she may be suffering with and are sympathetic as it may be very serious

It sounds to me like there is a disclosed condition and maybe one that comes under the equality act that HR and the manager are aware of.

Sounds very much like the route trying to get diagnosed with EDS. The most frustrating cycle of denial 🙄

I’m glad I don’t work with you 😂

My partner had stomach issues for 2 years causing him to be very ill and miss a lot of work. He was only 38 so his doctor diagnosed IBS until we pushed for further tests and they found stage 4a bowel cancer. You don't know what's going on in this person's life. A little kindness and understanding on your part wouldn't go amiss. If your workload is too heavy talk to your manager, don't blame it on a sick person. It's up to them to make sure there is enough staff for the workload, not hers.

Very glad I don't work with you wow 🤨

Your sick colleague’s illness is none of your business. Your manager will be rightly wary of you judging so step carefully. Be a supportive colleague! you never know when you might need one.

Regarding your concern about workload. Keep record of your daily tasks and review with manager. Yes, it is normal to have to be busy but if you feel it’s over and above that or you’re having to work outside your hours, make your case.

It must be really tough for your colleague trying to work whilst being so unwell. Fortunately it sounds like you have an ethical employer behaving with compassion and importantly with the boundaries of the law.

Wonder how you fit in with that culture based on your post.

What a load of selfishness! Just dumping your work on a co-worker is just fine.