Inheritance treated as a 'hand out'

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

I constantly see posts and hear comments about people inheriting money and it being treated like a massive privilege and an exciting thing. Almost said in jealousy sometimes. For example some of the things I've heard are;
" Well at least you'll benefit from the money"
"X is so lucky to have a head start"
"X didn't work hard, it was all inherited"
" They want do they found buying a house easy with the inheritance money"

I find all the disparaging comments about people inheriting money having it easy really disrespectful. I certainly remembered feeling disgusted when I was younger (and I lost someone very close) that people acted though I've been given a massive hand out in life. I'm pretty sure most people would want their mum/dad/partner back and don't give 2 hoots about the money.

My friend's very working class Dad in his 60s has just inherited half a million from his parents estate which significantly changes his life. He doesn't care. Just wants his parents back

I think you're missing the point. Whether there's inheritance or not, that person will have died. We'd all wish for our loved ones back but sadly many factors stop this from happening such as illnesses, tragic accidents and old age. We can't live forever. So it is a lucky thing to get a handout of money BUT that doesn't mean that people aren't grieving for their family.

"

1. having your parents /siblings etc around you into mid life or later life is also an advantage. There’s the emotional support you can gain, but also the hands on practice support until they get too old to do that. I gain massively from both my DB, especially since divorcing, and would rather have their support alive in practice than money if they died. On the converse my mum died relatively young, when my kids were very small . I didn’t inherit anything as obviously went to my dad, but I have missed her badly. Have gone through some tough times where having her support would have benefitted my mental health massively. "

Well yes, it is an advantage to have your loved one alive rather than dead. Of course it is. But after they die if you get an inheritance you are at an advantage to those you do not get an inheritance in the same circumstance. It's just common sense.

It's like 2 widows. Neither are lucky to be widows. But the one with the life insurance or who is financially comfortable through other means, will be in a better position than the one with no money to pay the rent or feed her children. It's shit for them both but the one who is financially secure can grieve without the added panic of impending homelessness for her children.

Saying 'I'm not lucky, I'd rather have my granny back' is just annoying for all the people who have already lost their grandparents and maybe even their parents and who come from families without money. It's really just saying being well off, coming from a family with relative money, is not an advantage and that being poor, being in a family without any money to pass on, is not a disadvantage. It's like saying there is a level playing field. It's like pretending money doesn't help and that inequality isn't a thing.

Some people seem to want sympathy on two fronts (1) losing a relative (2) inhering money due to the loss of said relative. Bizarre but money does breed entitlement.

@BigBeeee

Saying 'I'm not lucky, I'd rather have my granny back' is just annoying for all the people who have already lost their grandparents and maybe even their parents and who come from families without money

👏👏👏

It is obviously devastating to lose someone too early and I think that is particularly the case if a child or relatively young person loses a parent. No amount of money will bring that parent back and it will shape their lives going forwards.

My own parents are now 80 and I’m gradually getting used to the idea that they won’t be around forever. If they had the choice, I’m sure they’d much rather go suddenly at 85 and leave an inheritance than go at 95 spending all their equity on care. In those circumstances an inheritance would be a blessing because it means they won’t have been lingering in a low quality state in a care home for years. Their loss will at some point be inevitable unfortunately.

The inheritance script (where's the Criiiiinge emoticon)

I could NEVER be envious of others with money it's such an ugly trait for ugly people

@M4J4 are you saying anyone who says inheritance is a privilege is an ugly person? 🤣

sorry that's was @Hivaluegirl

I think if you inherit you should keep it to yourself, the ‘if I could give it all back for just one day’ mawkish sentimentality is crass.

Be interesting to know if anyone does give it away?

This thread has highlighted the unspoken tragedy of the orphaned pensioners. Imagine being 85 and your mum totally unexpectedly and unforeseeably pops her clogs.

🤣

@daisychain01 err what a weird world you live in. Not sure what inheritance has got to do with social media.

My friend just bought a 1m house, she told me it was because of inheritance. I mean I would have assumed so anyway since she's a nurse & I know her mum died recently...

I'm not secretive about money. I was open that a 6 fig inheritance helped me buy a house, why would I pretend otherwise?

Life is so deeply unfair

@WeAreBorg 😆

It’s always a hypothetical ’if i could…’

money doesn’t make people happy and some people frazzle away that “massive advantage” so it’s not an advantage.

This is brilliant! Inheritance is not an advantage because some people waste it

I do not think inheritance tax should exist as the money has already been taxed and it is incredibly unfair for the government to keep taxing the same money and then using it to pay benefits to ppl who would rather not work when they are perfectly capable of doing so!

Now having said that, when ppl say, you didn’t earn it, well that isn’t exactly true is it?! If your parent earned it by working long hours, travelling on work etc. then you probably also sacrificed by not having your parent around as much. So yes you deserve it!

I completely agree having lost a parent very early in life that I would rather have my parent back than any inheritance. Though it does help, and everything is definitely easier with money.

what an about username!

apt!

Literally no normal person would think that losing someone was absolutely fine as long as they got money, but you’re incredibly naive and privileged if you don’t realise it can make life a lot easier if there’s money involved after loss. Everyone loses people, a lot of people won’t get a penny and they’ll have to go back to work the next day because they can’t afford to eat otherwise. YABU

Now having said that, when ppl say, you didn’t earn it, well that isn’t exactly true is it?! If your parent earned it by working long hours, travelling on work etc. then you probably also sacrificed by not having your parent around as much. So yes you deserve it!

These posts are getting even better.

I've earned my inheritance because my parents had a job?! 😆

It's shit to lose someone and grieving sucks.

Grieving sucks if you have £300,00 in the bank and grieving sucks when you have £2.50 in the bank.

However LIFE whilst grieving is easier with £300,000 in the bank than living and grieving when you haven't a pot to piss in.

Fact.

@LittleMissUnreasonable You are being a little bit unreasonable.

It's tragic for someone to lose their parents when they are young. So anyone saying you were lucky to have an inheritance then is just crass.

I can't see how there is any discussion about this at all.

In RL I've never known anyone say that. I've known people 'explain' their inheritances and how it's helped them, but that doesn't mean they are happy someone has died.

Older people , who gradually accept their parents will die, may or may not benefit financially.

Most of us who are older now, see any inheritance as a bonus, but not a given.

And yes, we'd rather our parents didn't die given the choice of an inheritance or having them around.

I'm sorry you seem to have known people who were crass and with no empathy, but that isn't the norm.

Exactly. You can concentrate on grieving without worrying how you’ll pay the mortgage.

My Dad never saw me get married or have children. My mum died when my 2nd baby was 8 weeks old and will never meet my third.

I inherited absolutely nothing. I’m still paying off funeral debt now, and my Mum died 18 months ago.

So, would you rather be in your situation, or mine?

Urgh indeed.