Inheritance treated as a 'hand out'

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

I constantly see posts and hear comments about people inheriting money and it being treated like a massive privilege and an exciting thing. Almost said in jealousy sometimes. For example some of the things I've heard are;
" Well at least you'll benefit from the money"
"X is so lucky to have a head start"
"X didn't work hard, it was all inherited"
" They want do they found buying a house easy with the inheritance money"

I find all the disparaging comments about people inheriting money having it easy really disrespectful. I certainly remembered feeling disgusted when I was younger (and I lost someone very close) that people acted though I've been given a massive hand out in life. I'm pretty sure most people would want their mum/dad/partner back and don't give 2 hoots about the money.

My friend's very working class Dad in his 60s has just inherited half a million from his parents estate which significantly changes his life. He doesn't care. Just wants his parents back

We all lose parents but don’t all inherit - so some go through the loss with no money coming their way which will make life easier. It’s a privilege and big leg up no matter how devastated the person is.

But he is privalaged, whether he likes it or not.

Is it?

yes statistically it is but if you have data suggested it's got easier that would be great to read?

So you don't need to have mega bucks handed to you on an 'inheritance' plate to succeed in life.

No one has said that, again the comprehension!!!! It's far easier to accrue wealth if you have it, that doesn't mean it's impossible...

You can think others haven't 'earned' their money because you didn't, but it's ridiculous to claim it's only possible to accrue wealth through inflated property prices!

I haven't said this at all. 🤦🏻‍♀️

However, the idea that wealth can only be generated through inheritance/property price inflation is simply untrue and not a useful one in encouraging social mobility.

No one has said that but the fact remains wealth from housing is a huge factor when talking about inheritance & it's been one of the easier ways of building wealth in recent years due to the economic factors here.

"What are you hoping to achieve by attempting to" pretend it doesn't matter?

It's interesting that people see it as fortunate and lucky when you inherit money. Is it so unusual that this is not the norm - why isn't it the perception that those who don't inherit are unfortunate or unlucky, rather than it being a priviledge etc. if you do inherit. I'm from the UK and my grandparents grew up very poor and working class, so this isn't a cultural thing. Just I was brought up to think it's kind of expected each generation will work and save to leave something for the next.

Come on, you know the answer to this. It's just casual jealousy. Walk on.

Yes, nobody thinks it's the only way. The reason property price inflation keeps being brought up is because multiple posters have wrongly claimed that inheritance must be earned wealth that will have been taxed, which obviously is complete bollocks.

My poor, Nanna and grandad had absolutely nothing really their whole lives. They left their 6 children, £300 each, which is probably the equivalent of two grand now, which my mother promptly spent on a new sofa. But she doesn’t plan to leave anybody a penny. Hasn’t felt any financial obligation to any of her children since they were 16 years old.

I’d love to know what was happening with my auntie’s wills but obviously people don’t share that

I get it OP.
To lose a parent early in life when they are still young, isn't the same as the posters bleating 'Oh everyone loses their parents eventually '.
Losing a parent at/before you're 30 is far, far harder than losing a parent when you're older yourself and theirs was an age related death.

The saddest thing about inheritance is the siblings that take it as their god given right.

I’m 30, lost both my parents in the last two years and my siblings are appalling and were to our parents and now they are creating all manner of mess and hurt as they aren’t happy with the inheritance they were left and wanting more.

Inheritance brings out the worst in people; Greed and jealousy.

The ones that are inheriting always want more and the ones that aren’t are always jealous about the other and quite often Greed comes out in them too.

YABU - inheritance is controversial as it perpetuates privilege and puts you ahead of the queue in life.

If you are lucky enough to benefit from this you can't be surprised to get a bit of envy in return.

In my opinion the level of inheritance following the recent decades of housing market hyperinflation is disruptive in a meritocracy. It's also an unhelpful way to distribute resources in a society.

YABU - inheritance is controversial as it perpetuates privilege

My grandad's mum was widowed when he was a tiny baby - in the 1900s there was no benefit state and they lived hand to mouth for years. After the war he moved into a prefab house with his young family and he and my grandma worked 3 jobs to build a better life for my mum and her siblings. They all learned a lot about work ethic and have bought their own homes, a legacy (care fees excepted) for me and my cousins. There is no privilege here, just damned hard work.

*No one has said that but the fact remains wealth from housing is a huge factor when talking about inheritance & it's been one of the easier ways of building wealth in recent years due to the economic factors here.

"What are you hoping to achieve by attempting to" pretend it doesn't matter?*

That it's pretty pointless to keep saying 'privilege' for no apparent reason. There's no universally accepted scale of privilege you can use to rate an individual's life experiences and choices and I'm sure that's not a society most people would want to live in. If you feel your inheritance is a privilege and it makes you feel good saying that then crack on. Honestly, if you tell someone with no money how privileged you are that inherited a property purely based on your parent's luck, what do you expect their reaction to be? That's nice of you to acknowledge your privilege? Then what do you do, just get on with your day? Are you proposing a privilege tax to redistribute wealth or something?

It's the same principle as when the tabloid press whips the general public into a frenzy about benefits claimants. The issue isn't what the plebs are inheriting or not, but the 1% at the top who have so much wealth that they can't spend it in their lifetime and we can't even comprehend it.

If you receive any inheritance you are indeed fortunate. However I am very aware that the reason my parents will leave money is because they have worked incredibly hard, and saved . They have never spent money with abandon and have always been very careful from a very young age so that they would be secure and comfortable and potentially be able to make their children’s lives a little more secure. Inheritance is usually created through the hard work of the generation before

But not everyone who works hard makes a lot of money. Or are clever enough to know how to be savvy with money. Or could ever own their own house that would be left to children. Bit unfair to say that the parents of people like me who were left nothing were shirkers.

100% with you here. My Dad has almost waited for his inheritance his whole life it’s sickening, mentally spent it thousands of times over before even getting it.

I’d like to think I’m well set by the time my parents pass but I hear so many people talking about inheritance like it’s a human right?!

My long term boyfriend recently inherited approx £150k when two relatives died, one was his mum and one was his deceased dads Aunty. We both had very similar abusive upbringings with alcoholic parents but managed to get out and both establish our selves comfortably.

Absolutely my boyfriend would prefer to have his mum back, but his inheritance is a reminder for me that not only did I have a rubbish start in life with neglectful parents, they also didn’t think about a future for me. His mum at least had the foresight to do this, she became a counsellor later in life.

His inheritance and those of my friends of a similar age to me is a painful reminder that I’m alone, from the beginning and still. My boyfriend has used his money to pay off his mortgage and renovate which I may never afford to do to my own home.

I don’t think he’s lucky, but his fortune highlights my own misfortune and that birth is a lottery. It’s not about jealousy for me, he’s been very generous with gifts and we plan to stay together in the future , but I had to confront my own issues.

Nobody is ‘lucky’ to have received inheritance.

Generational wealth was earned through hard graft and good investment by the generations beforehand who paid tax on that money as they earned it. Their family will pay tax on it against when they inherit it and will no doubt make good investments and their own wealth to pass to their children through the same principles as they will have been raised in that demonstrative environment.

Therefore anyone believing that they should pay higher tax on it to level the playing field for everyone is taking the biscuit because actually sacrifices were undoubtedly made to earn hat money at times which may have had implications for those inheriting.

God knows when I die I want to pass as much of my hard earned bloody money on to my family to enjoy if I am unable to because I put in the blood, sweat and tears to earn it for us.

How do you think they got their property in the first instance? I realise house prices are at an all time high, but I am old enough to know that the awful boomers still struggled to buy their first homes, worked hard, and did without a lot of things people take for granted these days. Do you think people paid for their houses outright in "the good old days" and didn't have to work? The level of envy on MN is not nice to witness.

Agree. Lost both parents and an aunt and uncle I used to live with in the space of 5 years. Paid off car and mortgage and put some aside for rainy day. When someone realises I don’t have a mortgage I get the ‘wow, you are lucky’. No. I’m not. I want my mum and dad and 2nd parents back I don’t have much family now and TBH it’s lonely .

Well of course people are going to say aren't you lucky not having a mortgage. They aren't saying aren't you lucky losing your parents. No one thinks that.

How do you think they got their property in the first instance? I realise house prices are at an all time high, but I am old enough to know that the awful boomers still struggled to buy their first homes, worked hard, and did without a lot of things people take for granted these days. Do you think people paid for their houses outright in "the good old days" and didn't have to work? The level of envy on MN is not nice to witness.

Who on earth is claiming boomers all bought outright without mortgages or jobs? 🙄

People are referring to house price inflation which in some parts of the country has been incredible. Are you saying that people who bought in areas that didn't increase in value didn't work hard?

Yes my dad worked hard - he was an immigrant who lost both parents in his 30s & no inheritance either. However the first house he bought (they moved) was with one salary as
my mum wasn't working then. That house would be 1.2m now - it was their starter home...

Generational wealth was earned through hard graft and good investment by the generations beforehand who paid tax on that money as they earned it. Their family will pay tax on it against when they inherit it and will no doubt make good investments and their own wealth to pass to their children through the same principles as they will have been raised in that demonstrative environment.

You can inherit up to 1m before paying tax. Very few exceed that.

I do hope that those of you who are bitter that you didn't receive an inheritance but have managed to buy a house through working hard have set up your wills so that the proceeds go to charity on your death. We can't have your offspring inheriting anything they haven't worked for!

Im going to say something know one else is mentioning . People are discussing if someone is lucky to inherit . Is it luck or is it a family membe/friend that has worked hard and planned to leave something . We’ve gone without to invest and hopefully leave something to our children if we’ve have anything left. We try and help them out now ( not financially but practically) when where not here hopefully the money will help them out in the future . If we won the lottery that’s luck everything else is hard work and planning . I know other people work hard and aren’t in a position leave anything but that doesn’t mean that anything they get is down to luck . Hope this makes sense and doesn’t annoy anyone. If you get an inheritance or know someone hopefully it will make life easier as it’s ment to