Inheritance treated as a 'hand out'

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

I constantly see posts and hear comments about people inheriting money and it being treated like a massive privilege and an exciting thing. Almost said in jealousy sometimes. For example some of the things I've heard are;
" Well at least you'll benefit from the money"
"X is so lucky to have a head start"
"X didn't work hard, it was all inherited"
" They want do they found buying a house easy with the inheritance money"

I find all the disparaging comments about people inheriting money having it easy really disrespectful. I certainly remembered feeling disgusted when I was younger (and I lost someone very close) that people acted though I've been given a massive hand out in life. I'm pretty sure most people would want their mum/dad/partner back and don't give 2 hoots about the money.

My friend's very working class Dad in his 60s has just inherited half a million from his parents estate which significantly changes his life. He doesn't care. Just wants his parents back

It depends on how they spend it; if they use it to buy a house for instance, that's a pretty sensible decision. It's rather different to pissing it up a wall in Dubai.

I agree. I would class a house purchase as "investing" rather than "spending".

I consider spending to be when you have no asset to show for what you spent.

Personally, I will invest any inheritance and pass it on when I go. It isn't mine to spend - but I am ok with investing it then passing it on. I can buy my own holidays, cars etc - and would feel bad spending inherited money on that stuff, especially as my parents live fairly modestly. But that's just me.

A close family member died when I was 22, which was extremely hard at the time, but it enabled me to get a deposit on a house (a run down house which needed tons of renovation, which I paid for bit by bit through working). I inherited some more when a further close relative died and used that to buy another equally run down house which I again renovated through working, and that house has been rented out to a family since 2015. I had one friend make a snide comment about my "property empire" - implying like everything was handed to me on a plate. Yes I inherited the initial deposits, but dealing with the renovations and planning etc has been hard graft, and I put my own savings and capital into it. I took risks that house prices would rise and it would be worth it. I have been a good landlord and provided a stable home, without rent increase, to a family for 7 years.

I recognise that I was in a privileged position to be able to do the above but I also had the work ethic to make something of the money so that it will last for generations to come. I see the inheritance as precious capital which I can't touch - like I am only the custodian of the dead relatives' hard earned money (the only thing I have left of them) and I can only spend the income it makes.

I get that you think this is selfless but you are ultimatly benefitting from the property by living their mortgage free, leaving you disposable income to spend on holidays and cars, so it's not quite the noble gesture you are presenting it as.

*there

I see the inheritance as precious capital which I can't touch - like I am only the custodian of the dead relatives' hard earned money (the only thing I have left of them) and I can only spend the income it makes.

And same for you. This isn't noblesse oblige, it's monetary sense.

Yes, I'll benefit then pass the capital on. I didn't say or imply otherwise. If you're looking to manufacture an argument out of nothing, I'm not going to rise to it.

A close family member died when I was 22, which was extremely hard at the time, but it enabled me to get a deposit on a house (a run down house which needed tons of renovation, which I paid for bit by bit through working). I inherited some more when a further close relative died and used that to buy another equally run down house which I again renovated through working, and that house has been rented out to a family since 2015. I had one friend make a snide comment about my "property empire" - implying like everything was handed to me on a plate. Yes I inherited the initial deposits, but dealing with the renovations and planning etc has been hard graft, and I put my own savings and capital into it. I took risks that house prices would rise and it would be worth it. I have been a good landlord and provided a stable home, without rent increase, to a family for 7 years.

Isn't the point you wouldn't have had 2 properties without the inheritance no matter how you hard you crafted? The way house prices have gone there's no way I could buy in my part of London now, if I had to save for a deposit I would be priced out.

The people whose first thought is to spend inherited money, demonstrate why they don't have their own money.

That's not necessarily true though, is it? There are lots of people who don't have 'their own money' for all kinds of reasons. Spending an inheritance unwisely doesn't change the reasons for that person's start in life.

The people whose first thought is to spend inherited money, demonstrate why they don't have their own money.

This is nonsense

My birth family has enough assets so that the next generation can each buy a house, live comfortably and healthily without debt, and pass those assets on so that the next generation can buy a house, live comfortably and healthily without debt. All whilst still needing to work, getting a good education, and generally contributing to society. I don't think that that should be seen as problematic generational wealth, and I don't think that that is the cause of families who can't do that. Taking my family's (already taxed) assets doesn't remove any state dependents. We don't possess an unreasonable amount of wealth. Every family should be able to do what we do.

Problem is that we don't exist in a vacuum. And things have been skewed by asset inflation & wage stagnation. I personally think taxes are too weighted against income & as a higher income family the frozen tax bands have a big impact, no benefits etc. It's much harder to build "wealth" these days & it's not a measure of how much you sacrificed or how hard you worked.

Yes, it's certainly an advantage that my family's assets were accrued pre-21st century.

And I'm not sure if it was clear, but I also mean mortgaged properties here - the sort of generational wealth cycle that means the next generation can all put down a 20% deposit, pay their mortgage etc. And I'm conscious of the fact that a 20% deposit will not be the same figure down the line.

I agree with you though that it becomes harder for wealth to accumulate - but I'd reiterate that getting angry at family asset situations like mine is totally counterproductive.

People with nothing being told by people with everything that people with something are the ones who should share... Well fuck that.

I agree with you though that it becomes harder for wealth to accumulate - but I'd reiterate that getting angry at family asset situations like mine is totally counterproductive.

I completely understand why people do get annoyed though when people who get help from family "wealth" fail to recognise it as a privilege. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is an element of white privilege to this. Rich white people have built their lives and their descendants’ lives through inheritances. Often by making sure that poor people and people of colour lose out. If we made everyone whose family tree goes back to the advent of colonialism (some like David Cameron’s ancestor actually had a direct hand in it) pay recompense you would see a massive turn about.

From my perspective every penny I own will go to DS but I don’t trust the government so I’m also investing in him so when the time comes he won’t need an inheritance.

There's an element of white privilege, sure, and an element of other privileges too.

I'm not sure the analysis of how my English ancestors subjugated my Irish and Welsh ancestors would come out though... The bloodlines meet in me.

My uncle is Pakistani and an accountant and he’s doing rather well.

I think due to inheritance people have lost the meaning of ‘work ethic’. What you describe is privlege not work ethic. I’ll give you a couple of examples of what it means:

1. I grew up in a free school meals house, abusive parents, managed to cut them out briefly to go to uni (while working part time) where I was averaging 95% per module and (in my final year) had guaranteed a prestigious civil service internship. Then my grandparents (who raised me) became sick, my parents wouldn’t take care of them, and at 21 I had to drop out to help them. By the time I wasn 22 I lost 2 beloved family members. I had to drop out of uni firstly to care for them, and then had to find a job to pay for their funerals - they were in the mortuary for nearly 2 months while I worked minimum wage jobs and paid rent and supported my siblings. I started working full time, nights, whatever I could to develop expertise in what was going to be my graduate area. A friend of mine told me to cold call a few investment banks to see someone might hire me as a PA. They did and within 3 years, after working 75 hours a week, I was in the field I had trained for but not graduated.
2. My fil earned $2 a day for the whole family. Despite this all his kids, including my husband, are at least masters educated. They did this by working hard, by going without, without any assets because their grandfather’s only asset (a business) had been forcibly taken from him by the British government and handed off to a politician just before colonialism. There were times the entire family was living on the street.

I received an inheritance after the very sudden and unexpected death of my mum.

Yes, I'd like her back but that's not going to happen.

I also would NOT want her to suffer a long, drawn-out and ultimately painful and humiliating death due to the many lifeglimiting conditions she was suffering from, at great cost from her moderate estate.

As it happens, we didn't need to spend a penny on care as her death happened so suddenly (complications and sepsis) and we shared enough inheritance to manage our mortgages and put some by for the grandkids. Pennies from heaven.

@Wenfy

My fil earned $2 a day for the whole family. Despite this all his kids, including my husband, are at least masters educated. They did this by working hard, by going without, without any assets because their grandfather’s only asset (a business) had been forcibly taken from him by the British government and handed off to a politician just before colonialism. There were times the entire family was living on the street.

That's disgusting. Fucking cunts. And you've got their descendants talking about what a privilege it is to pass the capital on to their children.

It's much harder to build "wealth" these days & it's not a measure of how much you sacrificed or how hard you worked. Is it? I'd argue it's much easier to become socially mobile nowadays, with having the privilege of the internet at home and at your finger tips. It brings so many more options to generate income and educate yourself. Far easier than when my Dad was starting out in life back in the 50s as a child, having to work as a farm hand to help put food on the table before and after school when money was scarce. DH and I wouldn't have been able to accrue wealth nearly as quickly as we have done if we had been born in the 1940s!

DH and I started out with £3000 to our names 13 years ago to set up a business (money that we'd saved from our paychecks) and now have close to a million in assets (not including our house) through investing wisely and working 51 weeks a year. Noone told us what to do or how to do it, we figured it out for ourselves. Both of us went to bog standard comprehensive schools in rural northern villages, which I doubt would be considered a 'privileged' education by many people on here. So you don't need to have mega bucks handed to you on an 'inheritance' plate to succeed in life. You can think others haven't 'earned' their money because you didn't, but it's ridiculous to claim it's only possible to accrue wealth through inflated property prices!

My uncle was born in Pakistan is an accountant and did well because of racism. PWC didn’t want to hire black accountants in Africa and so offered Indian and Pakistani men traineeships and moved them to Africa. This was in the 40s-70s

But he still had no inheritance

So you don't need to have mega bucks handed to you on an 'inheritance' plate to succeed in life.

No, but you surely wouldn't claim that everybody who works really hard becomes successful or wealthy? There is an element of luck, plus some people have aspects of their start in life which will disadvantage them a lot more than just having gone to a bog-standard comprehensive school.

I’ll be honest, both my parents had died by the time I was 40 and I inherited £0 (feels like I’m in the minority)and I’m definitely a bit envious of people in the same situation, who did inherit. On the other hand I’m super lucky in other ways so I’m not complaining.

No, but you surely wouldn't claim that everybody who works really hard becomes successful or wealthy? There is an element of luck, plus some people have aspects of their start in life which will disadvantage them a lot more than just having gone to a bog-standard comprehensive school.

Becoming successful boils down to being able to spot opportunities, otherwise known as creating your own luck in life, it doesn't happen blindly. And yes, in some cases, people will inherit a family business. However, the idea that wealth can only be generated through inheritance/property price inflation is simply untrue and not a useful one in encouraging social mobility. Yes, there will always be someone better and someone worse off than you in life. Someone who got a better education than you, had a more supportive family, etc. How do you even begin to evaluate who ranks higher than someone else on the scale when everyone's goals and values in life are different? Why would you want to? What are you hoping to achieve by attempting to do so? If you're fortunate to live in the modern Western society, the fact is you are more fortunate than the majority of the world who live in poverty and have very little opportunity to do anything to improve their situation.