To feel that parents with older children shouldn't be using parent and child car parks?

[mickitee]

Several times since having my baby, I've been to car parks where all the parent and child spaces were full, and then struggled with her pushchair in a regular car space only to look over and see a family with older children (8+) getting into a car in one of the parenting child spaces.

Am I wrong to feel that these parks are designed for families with babies and younger children using pushchairs, or who actually need what's the extra space to be able to get their child in and out safely without risking damage to cars around them. If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents.

So, AIBU to feel annoyed about this?

Geez. Of course YANBU and there will always be people saying 'what about my ASD child who looks no different to other older kids'... well to those people, of course it's alright for you to use them too, if it's dangerous otherwise!

I wouldn't challenge anyone IRL, for this reason, but it doesn't make you unreasonable to ask everyone on here whose child does not have hidden needs to avoid using them.

The symbol for many of the spaces is an adult with a buggy, which I think sends a clear message.

I'm less bothered about people taking up P&C spaces for the extra width than I am about extra long SUVs that hang over the back of a space. I usually see a few of them at my local retail park and the owners all fight to park as close to the front as possible, i.e. with a foot of car sticking out into the only entry/exit lane. At busy times, it takes ages to get out because everyone has to stop and wait for a gap so they can pull out around a car that could double as ground-to-air missile transport.

At my local Wickes store, there are double length spaces reserved for vans or vehicles with trailers. That's what those long SUVs need but it will never happen, as shops want to cram as many people in as possible 🙄

Why do you need to take all the children to the shops? Genuine question btw. Could the older ones look after the younger ones?

I don't usually bring all my kids to the shops. Still the car remains the same size whether I take all kids, just one, or none at all.😉
Big car requires big sparking space. I own the big car due to the number of children in our family, hence I park in parent&children spots regardless of the number of kids accompanying me on the particular shopping trip.

Moonflower, so you drive to the super market just for a pint of milk?

I have 3 children and have never once parked in a parent and child space. I think they should do away with them and use them as blue badge spaces. People don't need a special space to get babies and kids out of cars if they drive a reasonably sized car that fits into a normal parking space. People with children who need more space because of a disability or condition should be able to get blue badges.

I have changed my views on this over the last few years and agree that perhaps there should be no child/parent spaces and instead more disabled places. It is difficult to balance and there is no easy answer - I don't know enough about the blue badges but do now that it is complex to apply.
I would have said leave not people's own judgment and am was quite optimistic as to people's sense of what was right, however, during the pandemic when masks were compulsory or recommended (not that I agree with this policy) people just bought the sunflower lanyards and used them if they wanted to.

Plenty of people drive to the supermarket for a pint of milk. Especially if you live rurally.

The only issue with that is the myriad of people who seem to need a large space but don’t qualify for the BB. From the thread it seems the not quite disabled enough posters would then not be able to shop…!

I wasn't - if there were no P&C spaces, I had to go home.

Where else would you allow me to go?

I rarely leave the house as it is. Where would you have me go?

Jesus Christ the ableism, do you think this is in any way ok to say to those who struggle? I seriously hope you never have a condition or accident that means it’s difficult to get around only for someone to tell you that perhaps you shouldn’t bother at all. Honestly, how dare you.

I can't get out of the fucking car.

I'm stunned that someone else thinks they can decide for me where I should be going.

Disabled people need milk too.

Thats totally irrelevant and also you should use child locks if this is a risk.

You have no right to advise or dictate places that disabled people would be ‘better off spending their energy’. You do not have a greater right to go to Tesco in the safest possible manner with your fat arsed car and ridiculous travel system than someone who has any sort of health or physical condition does. Why don’t you take your kids to the National Trust and order in your food in if a lack of P and C spaces make you share such options followed by a wide eyed ‘what?’ And doubling down reply.

so disabled people shouldn't inconvenience parents and actually go to the fucking supermarket themselves for milk. They should go to designed disabled friendly places that someone else has decided for them are acceptable.

Got it

The Ableism on here is shocking. @mnhq

What if the child is having a meltdown and kicking out refusing to get in the car? Is that also irrelevant or your be happy to have your car kicked as the parent lifted them in whilst in a regular space?

People on this thread haven’t the slightest clue. P and C spaces bring out First World Entitlement at its finest.

Shame they’re normally further away from the door than the P&C, which gives me the rage.

Again that's totally irrelevant to the OP though? You could just park further away not near any cars which would give the same outcome 🤷‍♀️ or shop without your child. Or get online shopping. Or many many other options. All of which are irrelevant to the OP.

Nah I’m not going to hide away my child if I need to take him to the shops for whatever reason. I have children under the age of 12 and just as entitled to use the space as someone with a baby/toddler. So I will and all the ableism in the world won’t stop me. And if I think the p and c spaces are safer than the disabled ones (that only my younger son has a BB badge for currently), then I will use them. And the amounts of fucks I give are absolutely zero 😊. Stay mad as the kids say.