To feel that parents with older children shouldn't be using parent and child car parks?

[mickitee]

Several times since having my baby, I've been to car parks where all the parent and child spaces were full, and then struggled with her pushchair in a regular car space only to look over and see a family with older children (8+) getting into a car in one of the parenting child spaces.

Am I wrong to feel that these parks are designed for families with babies and younger children using pushchairs, or who actually need what's the extra space to be able to get their child in and out safely without risking damage to cars around them. If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents.

So, AIBU to feel annoyed about this?

Some do say parent and toddler which I think someone with an 8yr old shouldn't use, but alot say parent and child which would be acceptable, even if it's annoying when there's no spaces for someone with a baby.

If you have a kid in a car seat then you need to be able to open the door wide enough to get them out. So in my book, if you’ve got a kid in a car seat it’s far game.

Not at all.

Toddlers & younger need space to exit. Older kids in boosters or equivalent do not require additional space - they just get out like anyone else.

Honestly, talk about babying children.

Yep, a gardening company near me use them to park up to get their lunch in a sign written van. Sunday mornings it's dad's with a 'baby on board 'sign with no child whatsoever
It really annoys me, not because I need the space or am likely to in the future , it just makes me cross
Anyone with a child with them is entitled to them imo

@EarringsandLipstick its not babying children to put them in a car seat when the law says you have too… I prefer not to let kids smash their car doors into others but if call that babying that’s up to you.

I don’t tend to use them these days but I did recently with dd 11 after she’d had an epileptic fit not long before. I needed the pharmacy in our big Tesco. I think there’s so many nuances and reasons people might use them they aren’t just helpful for those with babies.

It's babying not to expect say, 4 yos, to be able to get in & out of a car seat, and open a car door properly.

Seriously - at what age do you think they are able to do this?

Madness.

Tbf @EarringsandLipstick , times and rules have changed and cars are much wider than when my and ,I suspect, your children were young
We just used an ordinary parking space as p & c weren't around then but with the newer rules safety is more robust and car seats are much safer and bigger
Booster seats just used to be used until the seat belt wasn't in danger of cutting off a child's oxygen supply now they've got to be a certain height so can easily be able to launch themselves off

Anyone with a child with them is entitled to them

Not unless they are thoughtless arses.

If they legitimately need them - absolutely, work away.

If someone is using them just because they have a child; and fancy doing so - they are entitled AF.

Can those people honestly not remember the early days / years of motherhood with tiny newborns & fractious toddlers?

If you've no genuine need, don't use them.

Doesn't matter really does it. Because we can use the parent and child spaces till they're 12....longer if DC3 stays a short arse

Yes we are entitled to use them. Says so in the rules.

I said IMO @EarringsandLipstick , Jesus what has rattled your cage this evening ?

DH suggested this once, that he would stay in the car with DD at a P+C while I got out! I said no bloody way!

Thing with them is there is not much that can be done even when you have non parents park there (being lazy, think their car deserves a bigger space etc) I don't tend to challenge them because the kind of person to brazenly park in that space is the kind of person who'll probably scream "fuck off" in your face or worse.

Last week though I parked right next to and shortly after another car at the P+C. I got bags, handbag, DD all out and the woman in the car next to me hadn't even moved. I thought aha, no kid I bet. She wants to hide in the car to avoid being called out. Sure enough once we went to the trolley bay out she skulked, indeed no kid, but we took our time getting that trolley and she got my judgey stare 😂

@EarringsandLipstick no I don’t trust 4 year olds (nursery and reception aged children) to be able to open their car door carefully enough not to bash other car doors. Their coordination, focus and concentration isn’t fully developed. Might not be as tricky as getting a baby out but as other posters have said - the spaces are for up to 12 years old so it’s fine to use for a 4 year old.

I've told, I've shown, I've explained, I've shouted, I've drawn pictures! Short of putting reins on (which I have considered!) I've tried everything.

hahahahaha

Jeezo, just find somewhere where there are lots of spaces and park there instead where you have plenty room. I used to do that all the time when DC was small and never came on here moaning my face off about someone actually with a child using the P&C space.

I agree with you in principle OP

I stopped using them when my respective children each turned 5 (as in if I had no child under 5 with me). My youngest has ADHD and that doesn’t cause him to need any extra space getting out of the car.

However there is of course the caveat that some children with disabilities over that age will need them, and that those disabilities may be hidden.

So you can’t always tell.

Individual parents know full well if their children need extra space to get out of the car or not, but of course not all are going to be fair minded about it.

Stupidest comment. Some people have no common sense.

@FuckertyFuck

Mine are 16, 14 & 12 now. So it's a while ago but not that long. I accept some aspects of car seats will have changed.

I still expect a school-aged child to manage to get in & out of a seat, and open a car door appropriately.

A P&C space isn't needed for this.

Because we can use the parent and child spaces till they're 12....longer if DC3 stays a short arse

Why? Why would you do that if you don't need to? (And you don't).

Have you forgotten what it's like with a baby / toddler / pre-schooler and a combination of these? Cos even tho it's been years, I have not & it's why I would never unnecessarily take up a O&C space.

Legally anyone can use a P&c space.
I have used them with my older dc, one has autism and runs off and the other has a blue badge.

Yes we are entitled to use them. Says so in the rules.

🙄

But you don't need to. That's the point.

(And I'm in Ireland. Have never seen any mention of a limit so I guess it's different here. Doesn't mean it's ok to use them for the entire period of childhood, unless there's a need).

?

Don't understand your point.

I don't agree with using spaces like this when you don't need to.

I think it's shitty to parents, often mothers, who really do need them. That's the point I'm making.

(Yeah I feel quite strongly about it - I was a single parent effectively with a young baby, toddler & preschooler. I was often on my own with them. It was really hard. Access to spaces like this really made a difference at times. The idea that someone with no need, just an older child in a car seat, decides to take up these spaces, is really aggravating).

They’re called parent and toddler spaces in my local supermarket would that put you off? Other than SEN why would a 11 year old need to be closer to the shop? It’s so selfish to just think do what you want, screw everyone else. Don’t you remember being that mum wrestling with a buggy or car seat. What happened to solidarity and helping other women out.