Children's party, lunch etiquette

[FisherThem]

Mum to DD4, just starting the round of while class parties. Went to a soft play party, 1230-1430, lunch included.

Was I being unreasonable to assume that there would be some refreshments for parents as well as kids?

I hear you.

@JenWillsiam oh no that's a bit pants! I always thought that was a good compromise

Just Googled it, her chef said it in 2022 as part of Jubilee celebrations.

That doesn't make it a well known fact, only a small % of the UK population would have seen it reported.

this would never be allowed nowadays.

“Only food bought on the premises can be consumed on the premises” is signposted everywhere. Only exception is birthday cake which you give to the staff at the beginning of the party. They light the candles, you bring it to the party room for the kids to sing happy birthday and blow out candles. The staff take it away and cut it into slices to serve the children on paper plates. If there are slices left over, the parents can eat it, standing up in the pick up waiting area.

I know I'm not wrong. It was me who mentioned jam pennies.

Jam pennies? Never heard of them.

Yes unreasonable. It's a kids party and it's expensive, free adult refreshments are not an expectation- we don't live in the desert, adults can manage 2 hours.

If it's a party where you are catering yourself, then I don't think you need to feed parents, but I probably would as it really doesn't cost much more like for bigger packs of stuff at a cheap supermarket, if it's pay per head then no don't need to spend the money.

Well, I thought the snippet about the Queen’s liking for jam pennies was something interesting people might not know, hence mentioning it yesterday.

FisherThem · Yesterday 08:59
All good to know. Not been to a soft play party before, but now I know! All other parties have been in halls/houses and parents have been catered for. For warned if for armed!

And yes, mainly grew up in the UK and have not previously come across jam sandwiches. I see that too is normal. You live and learn!

missing the point entirely here, but the saying is ‘Forewarned is forearmed’😬

Ah fair. I blame typing quickly on a phone. You're quite right!

I must admit I'm British and have never made for others nor been served a jam sandwich at any time in the U.K. - my kids as far as I'm aware never had them unless their dad made them on one of the very rare (perhaps half a dozen in their whole childhood) times he fed them. I think of it as an American thing

We had jam sandwiches as a sandwich option for lunch in my (private) school in the 90s. I have been to farms/zoo/theme parks where the options are ham cheese or jam

it is I think a cheap and safe option - would have been popular after the way fruit would be grown here and easy to make

that said I never realised jam and cheese was a thing starting with miners and now proper recipes

Nope, wouldn’t expect that.

Yes YABU. There are never refreshments for parents.

Well clearly there are sometimes. I always provide parent refreshments.

When I was a kid, in the 60s and 70s, if we had our main meal in the middle of the day, then our evening meal was bread and butter, with a choice of things to make a sandwich, from meat paste, fish paste or marmite to honey or jam, followed by biscuits and a slice of cake.

Looking back, the potential for a sugar-laden meal was high, but I feel very nostalgic for the teas that mum made.

You buy 20+ adults drinks and food at a kids soft play party?

At like £10 per head for a simple meal and drink?

On top of paying like £14.99 each for the kids to play and eat?

If so you have far more money than sense.

@JusthereforXmas

The soft play near me that does parties let’s you do the catering if you have it for exclusive hire.

I used to do the kids party food and provide sandwich platters, crisps and fruit for the adults too and a tab for drinks.

I can’t imagine hosting something where parents are expected to stay and not provide refreshments for them.

I always cater for parents, especially when the kids are young and I expect the parents to stay rather that drop and run. However, it seems to be different from the norm.

Yes you are being unreasonable and looking for issues to complain about!!!

Not the norm usually, it costs a lot more to feed adults as well. I have in the past provided coffee and biscuits when I’ve done the food myself.
Jam is an easy fix re allergies, means kids with nut/diary allergies are also catered for

I threw a couple of parties when mine wee little, I always had squash for all. I never bought tea or coffee.

Sadly it’s normal ime. Parents aren’t fed at parties

I would expect a level of hospitality to be honest. If you are expected to stay it should be a bit more social. Don’t these people want to be friendly?