To not forgive colleague?

[pampaspot]

I applied for a new role it’s a few bands higher but I am qualified within that field just haven’t had much hands on experience.

The position is a secondment so it is a learning opportunity also.

Colleague showed me her screen today and previous message was to our manager of her saying “s is not a band 5” so she feels im not good enough.

I called her out on this and she started crying right away and apologising.

we work together once a week but now I just feel very off about her.

Manager didn’t pull her up on this until I said which is also very shitty.

Aibu to not forgive her so easily? I don’t want to create a bad atmosphere but I just feel so angry.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but hers could well be wrong. Just rise above it, there’s no point in holding on to anger.

This.

And start to look for other jobs in other areas/firms/departments.

Your workplace sounds like a pit of vipers TBH

We all think people at work are our friends - they're not, they're acquaintances at best and enemies when it comes to promotions. Don't get me wrong, I have friends from places I've worked at, but also loads more I socialised with only whilst I worked somewhere.

It's fine to get on well and socialise but honestly, she is no friend. She is jealous. Distance yourself.

Good luck with the interview.

What a seriously nasty piece of work you're colleague is. I will never work in an office again as this line of work seems to attract shitty toxic people who like to hide behind their computer screens as they don't have the courage to interact with other humans in a decent and respectful manner.

Op your initial post was a bit confusing but I saw your updates and changed my opinion. I sympathise, work colleagues can be the worst. Almost always down to jealousy. YANBU

I’d be beyond furious that someone in recruitment discussed my application with someone else. Where is the professionalism! As for the not band 5 comment, the shortlisting and interview process determines that, not some random colleague. I would concentrate on securing that role and putting the colleague behind you - where she belongs.

There are some dreadful people in recruitment, as elsewhere. My dd went to an interview and when she got back her boss, who she had pointedly not told, asked her if it went well! Someone at the place of interview who recognised her had called him to gossip.

I agree. I'm assuming this is the NHS as that's the only place I know that uses banding. It sounds like there's seriously unprofessional behaviour going on, and leaking of confidential information. It needs raising with a Freedom to Speak Up champion and investigating. Poor culture is behind so many of the safety issues in the NHS and situations like this need looking into.

If she doesn’t feel you are up for the job it is not wrong of her to raise this with your manager. However your manager should have spoken to you about it themselves.

The manager has nothing to do with the job she’s applied for though. So they were just gossiping. Women who don’t want to see other women growing and moving ahead. It’s about their own insecurities. Sad.

I Will never understand why people have to stick their beak in, she can have an opinion, but to say that to her superior that’s no friend material. You know where you stand now.

Does your colleague know what band 5 consists of, otherwise how can they presume by just their view

@pampaspot

I’m a bit confused. It’s a secondment in another department? At best your manager was asked their opinion and at worse it’s been a massive gossip fest that’s bordering on gross misconduct. Even if your manager was asked, why does she need to consult your colleague, is she your line manager or not?

Sounds like a pair of idiots. I couldn’t care less about bandings and luckily having never worked in the public sector recognise people are promoted for potential as much as current capability.

Good luck.

Usually id say colleagues are meant to help and be supportive of each other.
In this case Machiavellian philosophy seems apt, or the book 48 laws of power

just wanted to come back here and say thank you to everyone who pushed me to go for the job. I was offered it today colleague will be eating humble pie tonight 😊

@pampaspot hurrah! Well done.

Amazing news! Celebrate and then you go smash that new role! Congratulations ❤️

Well done you! So pleased thanks for updating I was rooting for you! X

@pampaspot congratulations!! Well done - so pleased for you 👏

Let's hope your revenge is your horrible colleague now getting very nervous about her position, now you've been promoted 😉

Oh I was hoping for good news! Congratulations!

Haha that’s excellent. She won’t mention it, she will feel like a dick quietly and minimise it.

Woo hoo! Well, I guess you're a band 5 now!

oh how great!
such glee!