To assume this about people who hit their kids...

[NotDisciplineJustAbuse]

That they're probably not above hitting their wife/husband/partner etc or indeed their pets.

I don't buy into the 'discipline' crap as there are just far better ways of dealing with things. I'm sure smacking my husband every time he forgets to replace the loo roll could work but I was thankfully raised to use my big girl words and not rely on violence which will inevitably breed more violence.

I don't agree with it but I got the odd slap round the legs growing up, it did me no harm. I wouldn't hit my child but it was more acceptable in the 80s/90s but I do remember my Dad being really apologetic after smacking me and I really played on that guilting him even more. I had a pretty much idealic childhood with very loving parents. I remember friends being smacked too, one Mum used the wooden spoon. My Mum never smacked me though but I was no more afraid of my Dad for giving me the odd slap, I think it was only around 2 or 3 times ever though.

Its different now though, I think society accepts it as being wrong.

No, I think smacking children is understandable. It's illegal in some parts of the UK now, though, which I think a lot of people don't realise.

@Cowlover89 it did do you harm, you think it was OK. That is harm. Anyone who thinks they deserved to be assaulted has been harmed.

You can think what you like but I hit my DS across the rump once and I will defend that decision to my grave . My son is not in the least bit traumatised and it prevented another vunerable person being injured so I care not a fig what you think .

And I have never hit my parents , DH or animals . So there goes your theory .

I don't like to think of my favourite cake as unhealthy and calorific. But it is.
Thinking its not doesn't make it so.

And you were hit. That's the littoral definition of being hit.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers "smack" is another word for "hit". You were hit. And it was so normalised that you think it was OK.

There is now quite a lot of research that shows that hitting children damages them and causes long term psychological damage. To those who say that it didn’t do them any harm, I do wonder about the links between physically abusing children (which is what it is) and the high levels of anger in our society. Hurt people hurt people.
Hitting children

From a safeguarding point of view, smacking is always a red flag. If any child at work mentions to me (or other staff) that they've been smacked for any reason then we have to fill in a cause for concern form and pass it to our safeguarding lead for follow up.

Smacking children is wrong. It has nothing to do with discipline and everything to do with fear and control. I want my DC to make 'good' behavioural choices because they've been taught to think about their actions alongside potential consequences of those actions, I don't want them making choices based on avoiding being hit. It wouldn't be legal to do it to an adult.

I think a large factor is culture - someone who for example is British by birth and has a few generations here then yes it’s abnormal behaviour. Eastern cultures not so much. It is seen as discipline and there is a different mentality attached to it.

Corporal punishment, as in teachers hitting children and HT caning children, wasn’t banned in U.K. schools until 1987. Hitting a child still is not a criminal offence in England.

Hitting children is part of British culture.

If anything, it’s a generational difference not a cultural difference.

Obviously being hit as a child did harm you because it made you think it was okay to hit your own child.

Smacking is nothing more than domestic abuse dressed up as discipline.

Well, no, people who see smacking as reasonable discipline aren't generally going to hit their spouses, because they are adults, and not their own kids.

They probably aren't taking away their video games or grounding them either.

Of all the arguments against physical punishment, that is about the silliest.

I was smacked on the bum as a child and also told that violence begets violence and doesn’t really solve anything.
I don’t agree with hitting one’s children, but conversely I don’t hold it against my parents.

In my view, it shows people for what they are: inconsistent.

@modgepodge the kids in the 80s managed though. People didn't go around hitting their peers nor did this take place in the 90s

🤣 Yeah we loved being smacked around by teachers and never ever once had a fight on the playground.

Yes theories are absolutely squashed the moment a single person has a personal, alleged anecdote. That's how it works. Gold star.

People who hit kids tends to argue that they are ‘teaching’ them. So far none have answered a simple question.
If hitting is a good teaching tool, do they let their boss hit them when they’ve done something wrong at work? If no, why not?

@MillicentBystandr that's kids for you though you basically are implying the same as OP. Its not a debate .. kids today are unruly, they probably hit their parents and they have no manners! The behaviour in schools today was unheard of in my primary school (90s). I think life is all about balance and its not as simple as what OP is saying.

Well I disagree- in years to come I wonder if people will say removing a child’s favourite toy by way of punishment is damaging.
My parents never lashed out at me in anger is was a prewarned punishment, issued after a boundary was pushed. It wasn’t constant, it was occasional around the age of 4.

Sometimes I do wonder if all these other methods of punishment are any better or in fact cause greater emotional turmoil for a child. I think What most people say when they mean don’t punish your children is have perfectly behaved children.

I was only ever smacked twice as a child. One because I ran out into the road to get to the ice cream van and nearly got hit by a bus. The second time was for laughing at the smack I got and telling my mum it didn't hurt... 🙈

If My boss threw his food at my wall, or pulled my hair or hit my other child then this would be a fair comparison. I hate these comparisons, aside from young children, any other such situation would be abuse and the person ie. The parent could walk away. Do people resign from their kids?

For a very long time it was considered a suitable act of discipline. There were children that were abused and beaten, whose parents may well have walloped each other and animals, but there were very many more loving parents who used a smack as discipline because that was considered the most effective way. It didn't make our parents bullies, lazy parents, violent psychopaths or anything else other than loving parents doing their best and following guidelines. Exactly the same as all you parents who complain about smacking are doing now. And if in 20 or 30 years time the guidelines change to something different which they will, you will be the ones being described as bullies, lazy parents, thick parents who couldn't be arsed to parent properly. You cannot judge the past by todays norms

Nice generalisation, but as a parent and educator of many years, you're clutching at straws.

YANBU OP, ridiculous when people say they wouldn't hit an adult, only their child. Basically, it's okay to hit the smaller, more vulnerable ones that won't hit back.
I also say hit because smacking is hitting, no point in trying to minimise it.

So if you were to take this analogy seriously we’d discuss an adult exhibiting adult behaviour: a boss/colleague/patient shouting in someone’s face or harassing them.
In these situations you would hit the other person @OnlyFoolsnMothers ?

Teaching about acceptable behaviour shouldn't be about punishment though. A far healthier approach is to think about actions/choices and consequences so children learn to manage and regulate their behaviour. "Good" behaviour attracts positive consequences like praise, people wanting to play with you, being a good friend, treats, etc which reinforces it. Negative behaviour should have consequences that match the behaviour so that the child makes the connection between the two - e.g., throw a toy at the TV then the TV goes off and the toy goes away, shove your brother out of the way to get the last available swing then your brother goes on it first and you go last (if at all), draw on the wall then your pens go away and you will be given the cloth to clean the wall, lose your PE kit through carelessness then your pocket money will buy a new one, etc.

Well making blanket statements that because I did A , I obviously did B is just as logical right

I could tell you "why" but I simply CBA . You don't need to know and I really don;t have to say .
Like I said I defend my action to my last breath .