To literally BEG women to set themselves up, financially?

[CallieRedux]

Typed out a long post full of personal details, then deleted, but, honestly, the specifics don't matter. What DOES matter is that you save every tiny bit you can, because having FUCK YOU money is - by far - the most important thing you can do for yourself.

It's saved me from everything from wrong relationships, shit jobs, from natural disasters... I have both made lots of money, and not, but having savings, and the ability to walk away is having POWER, and the best "self care" a woman can have.

Shit happens. Things change. Even to you. Yes, you can save - even a little - when you are poor.

Do it. Please.

Honestly, you just sound insecure because you’re a SAHM. And I’m upset because of the advantages my male colleagues have with a SAHM at home. They don’t have to worry about childcare, household chores and can work flexibility/late. They can progress in their careers. Meanwhile, I have to balance it all.

I’m sad because I hear my male colleagues talking about what their wives do for them and how it helps them. Meanwhile, I’m expected to go on the mummy track at work. Why can’t I have a career too? I just want to be equal to them.

I’m annoyed at the patriarchy.

Well it's rubbish isn't it because even as a younger woman the married dad who goes home to do bathtime is still rare in the City. He's often deciding to buy you s drink after work! Because you are younger and more interesting...

I'm in my 40s now and sure it still happens. Not that I get that attention any more, but married dad who suddenly does 14 hour work days is definitely a thing...

you just sound insecure because you’re a SAHM

@TheaPrentice

You don't sound insecure btw! ( as I'm sure you know).

That poster seems to have a challenging work environment which clearly is making her unhappy.

Yup, this is what I’m talking about. The men don’t seem to like to do household chores or want to see their children at night. So sad. I’m upset at the fact because I’m a women I have less chance to progress.

I have said I’m sad and admitted that, you’re mocking my feelings but ok

@EarringsandLipstick is she lying too? @TheaPrentice? ^

Thankyou @EarringsandLipstick for talking sense. Just because a man works (and happens to have a SAHW) doesn't mean he's not an involved parent. He could be anything. Are women who work less involved parents? No.

Familes come in all shapes and sizes so just let people get on with it.

@anonymousxoxo

I wasn't going to reply to you after your attacks on me but I'm absolutely not mocking you. I'm sorry you work in such an unhappy work environment. Not all workplaces are like that.

I hope things improve for you.

So are we (multiple posters) just making it up and lying for the sake of it to strangers on the internet?

Thank you.

I’m trying to explain why I’m sad and what I see my colleagues do. Like other posters @SouthLondonMum22 etc have said. But both of you think we’re lying

And @anonymousxoxo it wasn't fair to make a personal comment like that about @TheaPrentice which is why I commented.

Not at all to deny your own work experience. I do think you've probably developed a troubled narrative about it all tho.

(And I'll leave it there now!)

But, it’s just not me - other posters have commented the same?

The majority of women who do go back to work go back part time. It's a minority of women who go back full time.

Of course it matters because it promotes inequality and I don't see how that is good for society. Not as long as it's largely only women who are doing it because that's part of the problem.

I feel the same about largely only women going back part time too. It's a similar issue.

Sexism is bad for society and it is so ingrained I wonder how much of a free choice it is considering girls are socialised from birth to be the 'carers' and boys are socialised from birth to be the 'providers'.

anonymousxoxo - anecdotes are anecdotes. But if we are basing everything in anecdotes, I could give you mine and that of countless SAHMs I know. My husband was a banker for many years. But, I can't be bothered really.

I never once said you (or anyone else) was lying @anonymousxoxo

I'm saying you are wholly incorrect to blame SAHM, and Im also objecting to your personal attacks.

Can we leave it there?

100% agree with this. My DH and I have exactly the same setup. My income is mine to do as I like and vice versa!

I’m just sharing my experience of what I’ve seen, what will I achieve by lying to strangers on the internet? Other pp have said the same.

It's not a lie. It happens. It's pretty common to see as a professional woman, and if you've had a working life male dominated you will have seen it at different stages.

It's most obvious when the man suggests to his partner she stays at home - and she does because she is tired from looking after small children. It used to be called the college wife, you know, the best mother is one with a degree she doesn't use.

It is hard to avoid seeing it. I think many women don't have kids due to it too - if they want that kind of comparable career.

Again, I didn’t blame SAHM only. I blamed men who don’t wish to do household chores.

Yeah, that’s fine

Thank you

The majority of women who do go back to work go back part time. It's a minority of women who go back full time.

Statistics? Not saying you're wrong, as I don't know. But I do know in certain professions; that's not true. In mine, university teaching role (and yes, we work summers!), almost all full time.

it promotes inequality and I don't see how that is good for society.

I'm sorry you are entirely wrong. It's not promoting inequality for each family to make their own choices.

As I said, the only thing promoting inequality is lack of choice. You're not reading anyone else's views at all it seems.

how much of a free choice it is considering girls are socialised from birth to be the 'carers' and boys are socialised from birth to be the 'providers'.
Oh come on! That's trite. I'm a mother of 3. I work full time. So did my mother, aunts & grandmother. I've never read such outdated assumptions

anonymousxoxo - If a family can argued right have a SAHM for years on end, they can probably afford to have a cleaner! Maybe they have an au pair as well. Do you really think it's all about who does housework? Really?

afford not 'argued,' sorry.