Page 15 | To literally BEG women to set themselves up, financially?

CallieRedux · 2023-08-07T13:14:37+00:00

Typed out a long post full of personal details, then deleted, but, honestly, the specifics don't matter. What DOES matter is that you save every tiny bit you can, because having FUCK YOU money is - by far - the most important thing you can do for yourself. It's saved me from everything from wrong relationships, shit jobs, from natural disasters... I have both made lots of money, and not, but having savings, and the ability to walk away is having POWER, and the best "self care" a woman can have. Shit happens. Things change. Even to you. Yes, you can save - even a little - when you are poor. Do it. Please.

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:41

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:39

Ok fair enough.

My point is - stop making assumptions about other people's families.

It is none of your business and you are almost certainly wrong.

Can you read what @SouthLondonMum22 has posted above please?

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:41

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/08/2023 22:39

Pointing out the negative impact that choosing to be a SAHM can have on society as a whole isn't attacking SAHM's. It's highlighting how it enables inequality within the workplace amongst other things.

Again, many SAHM's say it on here themselves. A benefit to their individual family is that it facilitates the mans career. It's great for them but not so much for society.

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^ @TheaPrentice

PurpleWisteria1 · 07/08/2023 22:42

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:11

You can't trust anyone in this life except yourself, that is the harsh reality.

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That’s really sad. It’s not something I relate to at all. We are all human and can make mistakes of course, hurt others we love unintentionally / unthinking, but to have no one who you feel has your back, really has your back through thick and thin for life is so sad

PurpleWisteria1 · 07/08/2023 22:43

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:41

^ @TheaPrentice

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Can explain how much I disagree with this post. Total opposite to what I believe in but there you go.

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:44

PurpleWisteria1 · 07/08/2023 22:42

That’s really sad. It’s not something I relate to at all. We are all human and can make mistakes of course, hurt others we love unintentionally / unthinking, but to have no one who you feel has your back, really has your back through thick and thin for life is so sad

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I know :(

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:44

Pointing out the negative impact that choosing to be a SAHM can have on society as a whole isn't attacking SAHM's.

The thread is getting derailed by this, but sorry this is nuts.

There are positive and negative impacts of SAHM (and SAHD). Like anything.

But what's relevant is that you appear to be describing a rarefied workplace filled with disinterested fathers who all have SAHM wives.

No workplace I've ever been in (including male-dominated ones) has ever been like this.

It's your experience of course. But not one that can be extrapolated from.

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:45

Of course I can read other posts. I will reiterate the point that all sorts of people - men and women - have all sorts of advantages in the workplace they others do not have. All family set-ups and are different. It's hardly a case of 'SAHM or no SAHM' is it?

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:47

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:44

Pointing out the negative impact that choosing to be a SAHM can have on society as a whole isn't attacking SAHM's.

The thread is getting derailed by this, but sorry this is nuts.

There are positive and negative impacts of SAHM (and SAHD). Like anything.

But what's relevant is that you appear to be describing a rarefied workplace filled with disinterested fathers who all have SAHM wives.

No workplace I've ever been in (including male-dominated ones) has ever been like this.

It's your experience of course. But not one that can be extrapolated from.

But, just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean other people haven't

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/08/2023 22:47

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:44

Pointing out the negative impact that choosing to be a SAHM can have on society as a whole isn't attacking SAHM's.

The thread is getting derailed by this, but sorry this is nuts.

There are positive and negative impacts of SAHM (and SAHD). Like anything.

But what's relevant is that you appear to be describing a rarefied workplace filled with disinterested fathers who all have SAHM wives.

No workplace I've ever been in (including male-dominated ones) has ever been like this.

It's your experience of course. But not one that can be extrapolated from.

Working in the city can be a different beast at times.

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:47

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:45

Of course I can read other posts. I will reiterate the point that all sorts of people - men and women - have all sorts of advantages in the workplace they others do not have. All family set-ups and are different. It's hardly a case of 'SAHM or no SAHM' is it?

All we are saying men with SAHM have advantages in the workplace to progress

NobblyBob · 07/08/2023 22:47

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:39

Ok fair enough.

My point is - stop making assumptions about other people's families.

It is none of your business and you are almost certainly wrong.

The people on this thread making these observations all work in male dominated industries and are relaying their direct experiences. They aren't assumptions. You'd be surprised how much your boring husbands chat shit at work.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:48

Working in the city can be a different beast at times.

I can absolutely believe that! I did say I'd no experience of that.

As you say, a different beast, ergo, not one to judge all workplaces by or make sweeping statements about the impact of SAHM broadly.

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:50

NobblyBob · 07/08/2023 22:47

The people on this thread making these observations all work in male dominated industries and are relaying their direct experiences. They aren't assumptions. You'd be surprised how much your boring husbands chat shit at work.

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I don't understand how it's assumptions because men talk about it at work

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:50

@NobblyBob

I worked in male-dominated workplaces and did not see this.

What's with the 'your husbands' bit?

Most of those posting on this point are working not SAHM, and some, like me, do not have husbands.

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:51

"All we are saying men with SAHM have advantages in the workplace to progress"

Again, what would you know? Their SAH wives may be ill or depressed. They may have 5 kids with all sorts of issues and a sick mother to care for, or who knows what? Literally anything could be going on. How would you know? Comparisons are pointless.

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:51

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:51

"All we are saying men with SAHM have advantages in the workplace to progress"

Again, what would you know? Their SAH wives may be ill or depressed. They may have 5 kids with all sorts of issues and a sick mother to care for, or who knows what? Literally anything could be going on. How would you know? Comparisons are pointless.

Because they talk about it at work

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:52

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:51

"All we are saying men with SAHM have advantages in the workplace to progress"

Again, what would you know? Their SAH wives may be ill or depressed. They may have 5 kids with all sorts of issues and a sick mother to care for, or who knows what? Literally anything could be going on. How would you know? Comparisons are pointless.

Exactly.

I've known quite a number of these situations.

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:52

"Because they talk about it at work"

Who?

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:52

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:52

"Because they talk about it at work"

Who?

Male colleagues

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/08/2023 22:54

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 22:48

Working in the city can be a different beast at times.

I can absolutely believe that! I did say I'd no experience of that.

As you say, a different beast, ergo, not one to judge all workplaces by or make sweeping statements about the impact of SAHM broadly.

I'm not sure how true that is though.

It's a fact that the majority of SAHP's are women
It's a fact that men with SAHM's at home generally won't have to rush off for the nursery/school pick up
It's a fact that the majority of men don't reduce their hours or go part time

How doesn't that impact society?

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:56

Well so what? Who cares what a few randoms say?

I am a SAHM and I've no idea what you're in about - telling me I am my husband's 'mother'. Listen to yourself!

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:58

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 22:56

Well so what? Who cares what a few randoms say?

I am a SAHM and I've no idea what you're in about - telling me I am my husband's 'mother'. Listen to yourself!

We are relaying our experience working in male dominated work and the challenges we women have to face

anonymousxoxo · 07/08/2023 22:58

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/08/2023 22:54

I'm not sure how true that is though.

It's a fact that the majority of SAHP's are women
It's a fact that men with SAHM's at home generally won't have to rush off for the nursery/school pick up
It's a fact that the majority of men don't reduce their hours or go part time

How doesn't that impact society?

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It doesn’t. We’re lying. We’re bitter. We’re jealous. We’re wrong. That’s all.

TheaPrentice · 07/08/2023 23:00

Lots of things impact 'society' don't they? Two parents working impacts 'society' in different ways.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/08/2023 23:01

How doesn't that impact society?

But many women work, full-time or part-time.

Many men with SAHM wives are committed involved parents.

Many outwardly SAHM setups are not quite that eg my BIL has a high level v well paid role where he travels nearly constantly. My sister had a surprise 4th baby some time ago. It would appear she's a SAHM - I bet his colleagues believe so - but he is a really involved parent, straight in the minute he is home, and she actually works in a medical locum role around his time at home.

The point is, it doesn't matter. Choose to be a SAHM, just recognise the implications.

No it's not bad for society - as long as there is choice. Lack of choice is what's bad for society.