Paying grandparents/family members to look after baby

[Lilacriver]

I’m returning to work soon and I’m going to be offering mine and MIL a bit of money to care for baby (3 days a week, taking it in turns) neither work but both have regular groups / clubs that they will be giving up to look after my baby which they are happy to do.

Some of my friends are shocked I’d offer and think I shouldn’t offer and expect them to do it for free but I am not sure what to do. They are also saying my mum and DH mum will be wrong to accept money from me.

If you’re a grandparent, do you get paid? If you’re a mum with a baby, do you pay grandparents? If so, how much is a good amount? I’ll be going back 3 days a week so won’t be earning too much

It's the right thing to do, to offer them money. They are helping you out big time and it's a regular thing and a lot of their time.
They may say no,
But in that instance I'd make sure to treat then often to say thanks.

Definitely do not agree that it's fair to expect grandparents to have to look after grandkids regularly! They didn't choose to have them.

The very least you can offer to pay for food on the days they have your kids.

They may not want money, but it's about appreciating someone is doing you a huge favour, that would otherwise cost you a lot of money.

I can't believe some people wouldn't offer! Incredibly cheeky. Tiny children are a fulltime job and exhausting for a young mother never mind ageing grandparents.

My mum is an amazing grandmother who helped out a lot when my DCs were tiny for free but when I wanted to go back to work and needed formal arrangements then I obviously paid her. She was still in her 50s then and gave up days at work to look after my children so I made sure she wasn't losing out financially to do so.

It cost the same as nursery/childminder would have cost but with better care and in their own home so was worth it.

This is correct.

😂🤦🏽‍♀️ holiday babysitting is not childminding. 🙄

Grandparents don’t have to register even if they get paid. They can register if you want to take advantage of tax free childcare

FYI, if the grandparent is under state pension age and hasn’t built up enough NI qualifying years for a full state pension, and is caring for a grandchild, they can claim NI credits from you that could top up their state pension quite significantly. So kind of like you’re lying them for the childcare later! https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/grandparents-childcare-credit/

on your q I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here, if they want the money and you’re happy to give it, what’s the problem? I thought about this with my mum but have personally decided agonist as I don’t want to be her ‘employer’ - I feel like I would start expecting certain things if I was paying her for childcare, like I would expect them to get out of the house, explore the outdoors etc and I don’t want to be managing that.. I’d rather the care was just free, then I can just be very grateful for it and she can do whatever she wants with him, and I’m pretty sure she prefers that too!!

When I went back to work after having my first we accepted the offer of childcare from my mother and the in-laws on a shared basis.
Neither side wanted to accept money but we felt it was important to us to give it. We had interviewed a local crèche to decided it was only fair to offer the same amount to our parents.
All of our parents are still working (not yet retirement age), they had to juggle/cut shifts in order to mind our son and obviously spent money on extra food etc to do so.
Our rational was that we were happy to pay the crèche but ultimately happier for him to be with someone who loved him so as the financial aspect didn’t have any bearing on our decision we decided to pay it anyway in appreciation of their support.