To tell the parents of the badly behaved children?

[PineappleYikes]

My 8yo dd had a birthday party at a trampoline park. It was open to the public as well as for specific party bookings. Ten children came, they were in high spirits and enjoying it - great.

I was supervising with dp and the staff. During trampolining three of the girls kept piling up on each other and generally pushing the boundaries, having to be asked to bounce nicely and follow the safety rules etc. Not terrible but maybe a sign of things to come...

After they had an hour of trampolining, we got to the party tea, it was in a separate room. At this stage, after sitting and eating their meal, the three started literally screaming, wrestling and one jumping on the table. The noise could be heard outside and the manager entered and asked that they behave and the screaming stop. My dd and the other girls were upset - they had all been eating their meals and were as fed up with this behaviour as the rest of us. Unfortunately none of the adults (including staff and manager) could convince these kids to stop the screaming and behaving badly.

Throughout the party, the three had also spent their time individually or joining other groups asking to be taken to the loo (separate area) saying they needed it but actually they were just messing around, didn't use the loo and whilst in there had to be told to stop banging on random people's cubicle doors, throwing wads od towels on the floor etc. One in particular also seemed intent on picking on one of the quieter girls (obviously I stopped this).

I know that 8 year olds can get excited, but to behave so badly that my dd didn't enjoy her party (and another child asked 'when will this ruckus end? I want to go home) and a manager had to intervene (his intervention no more effective than dp and I, these kids have zero respect for adults) is that not extreme? I work in a school and their behaviour wouldn't be tolerated at school.

Aibu to tell the parents? Or do I just keep quiet and never invite these kids again?

I would've texted their parents to collect them early. I would say they got into a fight with another child and they need to leave immediately.

It's a shame you didn't film them screaming and jumping on the table to send to their parents with the message, "please come and pick up your child as soon as possible."

Only on Mn do you get blamed for someone else’s bad parenting!

Did you not read the thread? The OP tried, the manager tried. These kids had clearly not been taught how to behave at parties or how to respond to other adults in charge.

I would have called the parents but at least you know either to not invite again or have their parents come to stay with them.

What did you do in the end @PineappleYikes ?

@LadyEloise1 I didn't tell the parents, but will never invite these children again. I suspect the parents know already and aren't bothered. I think as some pp said, the parents would have reacted badly, so ultimately more headache I just dont need.

My dd seems more ok now and I think it's a life lesson for her too, she was very upset after the party due to their behaviour. Next year will be a handful of the well behaved children going to the cinema or similar! She had invited all the girls in her class (a couple couldn't come) but being selective is clearly the way forward.

Thank you for replying @PineappleYikes.
I know it would make things really really awkward going forward with the children being in the same class if you did tell them and as you say they would have reacted badly.
Lesson learned by you and dc.

Definitely doing the right thing OP and if it’s questioned why they aren’t invited again then I’d be sure to tell them. I’d imagine if that’s their behaviour they won’t be invited to many more parties.

Manners cost absolutely nothing, I’d be mortified if my children ever behaved in such a manner

I don’t blame you at all Op and I think majority would do what you did - not say anything after event but never invite again.
I do wonder if the penny eventually drops with the children or parents when the invitations inevitably stop in junior school or if they can’t understand why child is always being left out. Or if they then complain their child is being left out for no reason.

Has your 8/9 year old daughter been to a soft play party recently by any chance?

😂😂😂

I would tell them - because it spoilt the party for your daughter and other children. I suspect, given how rude and spoilt the children were, you might not get a very good response - but it's absolutely right that they should know how disruptive their children had been.

If I'd have had the presence of mind (which I probably wouldn't have had), I would definitely think it's OK to call the parents and ask them to collect their children.

What a shame.

Sorry, I now see you decided not to tell them - and I can see why you made that decision.

I really don't agree with posters who imply that this sort of behaviour should be expected.

I wouldn't tell the parents. It won't go down well. Party invitations from other classmates may well dry up, but that's not your problem to resolve

Id have:
Told all 3 i was ringing their parents
If on trampolines, taken them off and made them sit (supervised) at the side.
If in party room, put one chair in each of 3 corners of the room and separated the 3 to sit on them away from others.
Spoken to parents at end and told them manager had to intervene.

Zombie 🧟‍♀️

oops zombie

This may be a zombie thread, but if kids misbehave at a party, you really should let the parents know!

I had the same at my son's 8th birthday. I'd got someone into do some sports, and one boy just messed around and ruined it for others. When the food came, he grabbed handfuls and piled his plate, then threw stuff. After that he was crawling under the table while people were eating, and then got in a fight with another boy at the end!

I told his parents what he'd done, and I also told another parent who had invited him to her son's party in two weeks time. Needless to say his mum accompanied him to the other party and stayed! He was STILL naughty but got a bollocking from his mum throughout and made to apologise!

Any update @PineappleYikes ?

Why are so many people surprised that an 8 year old used the word 'ruckus'? My granddaughter is nearly 4 and would use it. Not because she's a genius, but because her mum says it.