When one partner wants more/any children, but the other doesn't.

[sadie0108]

AIBU to be upset that my partner basically has the final decision whether we have another child, because I obviously can't force him to have another child, but he can ensure it doesn't happen without me needing to agree?
We have one child just now and are very happy. I would love another and we are in a position (financially etc.) to do so.
I would have hated to grow up as an only child and our family is already very small. Our son has only one cousin, who lives in a different country, so I just keep picturing a very lonely childhood for him.
My husband has gave (what I consider) silly reasons why he doesn't want another child, such as we would need to buy a bigger car. Again, this is something we would be able to do financially.
It goes without saying that I'm heartbroken at the thought of not having another child, but this post is more about me being upset/annoyed that its my husband has all the control in the decision and I have none. Anyone else in this situation?

Reading through this thread as I sadly find myself in a similar position.
My partner (33m) and I (32f) have been together almost 6 years and we had our DS in Sept 2023. We always said we wanted 2 children and decided we would start trying for baby no2 this month. He told me yesterday he has changed his mind and only wants one now.

I am completely devastated as I always imagined myself with 2 and I want my son to have a sibling. I feel like I've been blindsided as he is telling me so late.

His reasons are: having less time, being more stressed, money and just not looking forward to having another.

He has now said, its a never say never, but equally, cant see himself changing his mind.

Does anyone have any advice?

I think it's totally normal and valid that you're upset about this. Because having children is a 'two yesses' situation, there is always a fundamental imbalance in favour of the person who doesn't want the child, because their position is the status quo. It's just a fact of the dispute; nobody's fault, but hard for the person who wants the child to come to terms with.

I'm sorry OP. I hope he changes his mind, or that you can make peace with the matter ♥️

I’m so sorry. Personally this would be a deal breaker for me. You will have loads of pps telling you his decision trumps and you have to accept it or else you’re the worst, but personally I totally disagree. It’s your body, your reproductive choices,
your happiness, they don’t have to be determined by someone else.
If you want another child, make plans to have one- there are various options. He can get on board or not- up to him.
(I think if he realises you are serious he’ll choose to get on board, but you have to be prepared for the alternative which is your family looks different than you expected).