Page 20 | People looking after children while wfh

paws732 · 2023-08-05T07:22:39+00:00

My company operates mainly remotely, so we mostly work from home with occasional office days. We have a lot of Teams meetings for connectivity. With the summer holidays, I have had meeting with a lot of colleagues who have their children sitting on their laps during the meetings. These children range from 5-8, and they are not behaving themselves either. One child kept putting things on their mum's head, and another was having a tantrum about being bored. AIBU to think they shouldn't be looking after children while wfh, even if it's the school holidays? I feel it will eventually spoil wfh arrangements for everyone, as employers will not tolerate this is many companies.

BringOnSummerHolidays · 09/08/2023 19:59

Not acceptable. I have my children at home while WFH but they don’t bother me. If they need something in the study, they come in quietly, pick the thing they need up and leave. They are much older however.

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:04

CinnamonJellyBeans · 05/08/2023 09:27

It should not be allowed. There's no way you can get the same level of work done if you're looking after children.

My own POV is that is a terrible idea:

It's another blow to women and the career divide. Not only are they expected to do childcare, but they're also forced to work at the same time.

Worse than this, what about the children? They need love and attention to flourish. We've already seen the psychological and educational effects of the short stint of WFH in covid on children. Imagine this for years on end. They deserve more

This. How can you be doing a proper days work while also looking after a child (any age). It's not fair on child, employee, or employer! I know women who have been pressured into doing this by partners who didn't want to pay for the childcare.

Bunnycat101 · 09/08/2023 20:07

I think there will be some people who are genuinely struggling with post-covid childcare availability but I also think there are a fair number who say that but aren’t trying as hard as they could. There are plenty of people like doctors, nurses, teachers who have to find childcare to do their jobs and they seem to manage because they have to and have no choice.

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:08

Flowerpowera7 · 08/08/2023 22:58

It is a post covid 21st century. Move on!

Well in that case we've taken a massive step back in terms of child, employee and employer rights.

I think it's more a case of moving on after COVID - we're not in the pandemic anymore people need to move on from the WFH / childcare stop gap

Oatycookies · 09/08/2023 20:09

I don’t have kids but have every sympathy for people especially single parents who have childcare issues and I wouldn’t bat any eyelid if I knew a colleague had their kid at home, but how can anyone say it’s acceptable to have kids on screen during meeting ? Absurd and it’s also annoying for the parents who make sure their kids are sorted in other rooms.

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:14

It reminds me of third world countries where parents have to take their kids to work with them.

I think most of the people saying they can't afford childcare probably could if they wanted to prioritise it, over going on holiday abroad or having takeaways etc.

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:16

Also don't understand the distinction of it being ok for a child to be present but not in a meeting.. surely it's distracting to have a child in the room when you're trying to actually get work done, more so than when just sitting in a meeting? (Obviously depends on the kind of meeting, client facing obviously no)

Rathouse · 09/08/2023 20:24

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:16

Also don't understand the distinction of it being ok for a child to be present but not in a meeting.. surely it's distracting to have a child in the room when you're trying to actually get work done, more so than when just sitting in a meeting? (Obviously depends on the kind of meeting, client facing obviously no)

Obviously when you are on a zoom call and your child is noisy or asking for things people can also see unlike when you are working but not on zoom. 🙄

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:31

Rathouse · 09/08/2023 20:24

Obviously when you are on a zoom call and your child is noisy or asking for things people can also see unlike when you are working but not on zoom. 🙄

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Well yeh exactly. So neither is ok, but the difference is that during a meeting people can see what you're doing lol.

It's not ok to have a child there when you're trying to get work done. I'm a graphic designer, it would be way less destructive to my productivity to have my child on lap while in a meeting (with mic off) than having a child on my lap when trying to produce design work. And I imagine the same applies to most jobs (writing documents etc)

Kishe · 09/08/2023 20:33

It is very difficult for companies to get good quality staff nowadays so I think a bit of leeway here and there helps keep the ones they have. Some people take the piss but they do ok general anyway.

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:37

Kishe · 09/08/2023 20:33

It is very difficult for companies to get good quality staff nowadays so I think a bit of leeway here and there helps keep the ones they have. Some people take the piss but they do ok general anyway.

Thanks Brexit 😂

Andifeelheavymetal · 09/08/2023 21:35

Ilikepinacoladass · 09/08/2023 20:16

Also don't understand the distinction of it being ok for a child to be present but not in a meeting.. surely it's distracting to have a child in the room when you're trying to actually get work done, more so than when just sitting in a meeting? (Obviously depends on the kind of meeting, client facing obviously no)

Because a child can hear the conversation. Little ears generally have big gobs on them.

User1755387908 · 10/08/2023 05:26

The lap thing is often that people want to show off their child but don't realise that no one else is actually interested in their child, likely usually done with pfb

Elsie296 · 10/08/2023 08:40

My dh works from home and I do leave the children with him for the odd errand like shopping or walking the dog but wouldn’t plan a social event (ie lunch with friends) and expect him
to cover during his working hours, nor would I do this when he has a scheduled meeting. It’s handy with my dd (10) as she often won’t want to join us with soft play … she’s old enough to be at home with dh and not cause a distraction. I have childcare arrangements in place for dd (5) for the days I do go into work. Totally agree with you, it’s people who do this that will spoil it for everyone. I know people who wfh 5 days a week and still make childcare arrangements, even at least for a large proportion of the day.

sarah419 · 10/08/2023 10:28

I work from home with children - and i ensure my meetings happen in a separate room and the children understand i am in a meeting. it’s highly unprofessional to open your camera and your kid is there - and i don’t think any management will be okay with that.

hippygirllucky · 10/08/2023 10:32

I just also don't understand how people do it. I had my managers sign off to have Dd while I was wfh the other day because regular childcare had an emergency and it was a nightmare. DD is 19 months so I can't speak to the needs of older children but it was very challenging. She of course needed constant attention. Ended up giving up on trying to work and just making up my hours in the evening because I was fighting a losing battle.

recyclemeagain · 10/08/2023 10:58

User1755387908 · 10/08/2023 05:26

The lap thing is often that people want to show off their child but don't realise that no one else is actually interested in their child, likely usually done with pfb

I think this is true in some cases (not all of course, but some!)
During lockdown I remember there being a woman on my course who would bring her child into every single class- online zoom classes once a week. She would go to great lengths to remind us all she was a mother and how difficult it was to be a mother and studying, how being a mother meant no choice but to have her child on camera. She would constantly leave herself off mute while shouting to her partner in the house, let her child wave to everyone etc.
I can appreciate it was very cute but 2 years of that and it started to grate a bit. Especially for those of us like myself who are also mothers and managed to keep them occupied elsewhere for that one day a week. At graduation everyone was going on about how amazing she had done studying and being a mum, it did feel a bit of a kick in the teeth to those of us who had managed it with our kids off camera.
Didn't realise I needed that vent! Thank you! 💜💜💜

MadamPia · 24/09/2023 20:53

I think so much of this depends on the parent and the child. During covid I worked from home with my daughter when she was about 7- I am a lone parent and had no one else in the house. I told her, when mummy is on a call, you can write to me and I will try and get back (she would write a note and leave it - then watch me as I wrote the answer - not much different to having a 121 chat on Zoom). I would make sure that she had her snacks, crayons, dolls, whatever she needed for the 30 minutes or sometimes an hour. Then after my calls we would have 30 minutes or so where I tend to get before getting back to work. Sometimes she would sit right next to me whilst working and she would make her own work, it became like a game. But she was so well behaved! I’d use lunchtime to cook.

I’ve taken her to work with me on emergencies and again, she behaves herself and now she is older we have a good relationship.

Sometimes the children being there is not the issue but like you said - when it’s a distraction it is and looks so bad on the rest of us that try very hard.

I often don’t tell people I have a child when I start working, as I feel that people become so biased. When they do find out they are often surprised. It’s a shame that it has to be a surprise.