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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give a S**t when my child is born

58 replies

beaniesteve · 27/02/2008 14:53

I am not pregnant but I am trying. If I have a Christmas baby, or a spring baby or a summer baby - I really don't care. I just want to become a parent.

A friend of mine has said for years 'oh I do hope you have a summer baby, that way you'll get all the summer off and it will be so much better'

I don't care! If I have to have a newborn in the middle of a long wet winter... I don't care! It is not remotely important when I have my baby! I just wish she would shut up about it. When I tell her I really don't care' she says 'oh but you will when you're stuck indoors with a small baby and can't go out anywhere'!!!!

OP posts:
wheelybug · 27/02/2008 14:55

Good for you ! You're right .... I wanted dc2 to be born in May... 18 months of ttc and 1 miscarriage later I couldn't give a toss when it decides to turn up !

GooseyLoosey · 27/02/2008 14:55

YANBU but I think you know that. Good things and bad things with any time of year and you are quite right that the most important thing is just having the baby!

fircone · 27/02/2008 15:00

I have two August dcs. All I got was (and still get), "Oh dear, they'll always struggle at school." Grrrrrrr.

Likewise with age gaps. One stupid poncey woman once proceeded to tell me that a) her three children were gifted and b)they had all been conceived at precisely the right time in order for there to be a twenty month age gap between them, which all studies have shown to be the optimum.

Some people will always try to put you down, even if it's picking on when your baby was born.

Shaniece · 27/02/2008 15:07

How sad your friend sounds. I don't think anyone cares when a baby is born. I think some people try and conceive at certain times to have the baby born a certain month, eg, Davina Mcall said she purposely conceived at a certain time on all her babies to tie in with Big Brother - they are all September babies.

madoldbird · 27/02/2008 15:08

Hear hear!!! Who cares when they are born?! A baby is a blessing. After all this ttc i shall just be overwhelmingly grateful to be pregnant! (Same with all this "i have to have a boy / girl" stuff, but don't get me started on that...)

minster · 27/02/2008 16:33

Absol-bloody-utely YNBU ... time of year, age, age gap - all utterly irrelevant. Some people really don't appreciate how fortunate they are.

Chequers · 27/02/2008 16:35

Message withdrawn

belgo · 27/02/2008 16:37

I started out wanting to avoid a baby having a Christmas birthday. So we started trying last April.....two miscarriages later and now I just want a baby whatever month it is born!

crokky · 27/02/2008 16:39

YANBU - nutty thing to worry about!!

belgo · 27/02/2008 16:43

I don't think it is a silly thing to worry about - I personally would prefer a baby to be born in spring as I found the recovery and sleepless nights far easier to cope with with the nights getting shorter. My dd2 was born in september, and I found the first six months or so very depressing partly due to the long nights; also she caught all the winter bugs from her sister at just 2-3 months old.

So if you are lucky enough to be able to plan it, then why not?

Divastrop · 27/02/2008 16:44

that is very unsensitive of your friend.i planned my last baby to be born in spring because my dd1 and dd2 were both december babies,and both ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis at 12 days old,but i think that is a valid reason.age gaps/school-who cares?you just want a baby!

thefortbuilder · 27/02/2008 16:49

YANBU

i will obviously have 2 gifted ds's as ds2 is likely to be prem and they will be 20 months apart

it's a blessing whenever a baby comes and you either get a bit more sick in winter from catching loads of bugs, or you swelter through a long hot summer so it makes no difference when they are born!

Katelyn · 27/02/2008 16:51

It doesnt matter at all.

I was pregnant first time and due a spring baby .... pregnant now and due a summer baby, doesnt matter an ounce when you're falling pregnant for the right reasons.

Good luck.

Katelyn

VictorianSqualor · 27/02/2008 16:56

If you're lucky enough to be able to conceive when it would be best for you then why not?

For example, if a teacher can plan it to have their baby so their maternity leave ending ties in with the six week holiday why not?

My first was born in novemeber and second in decemeber so I always said to friends half-jokingly, make sure you have them round august then they go to school at 4 not 5, saves on childcare!

FWIW, a friend of mine had a summer baby and said she was envious of me having winter babies because it was hard to keep her LO cool.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to not care, but I certainly don't think those who try to plan the births around certain things are unreasonable either.

littleducks · 27/02/2008 17:00

Spring babies and pushing a pram in summer is lovely, i always tell people how much i enjoyed it BUT only when they tell me they are expecting a baby not just randomly or if they are due in dec.

I think that if you conceive easily its hard to appreciate the 'trying for a baby' phenomenon. I fell pregnant the first month every time (although i miscarried twice) and just keep my mouth shut when people talk about trying to conceive as i dont want to offend them (perhaps a better tactic).

So maybe your friend is just trying to share this experience with you and doesnt realise it may be upsetting if you are desperate for a baby. Some people can pick when they want a baby and dont fully appreciate it is harder for others.

Good luck with getting pregnant!

nospringchicken · 27/02/2008 17:04

I have 4, one born in each season. Pluses and minuses for any time of year really. (Though I have particularly fond memories of wheeling my spring baby around, surrounded by singing birds and cherry blossom).

Original poster
beaniesteve · 27/02/2008 17:05

She even said to me last night 'Oh I hope you get pregnant in August or September' so you can have the baby at the begining of the summer.

Lol - frankly if I have to wait until August to get pregnant then I think I will cry!

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 27/02/2008 17:16

DD1 was a July baby DD2 a January one, TBH I wouldn't want to hugely pregant over Christmas again, also when she was born it was so miserable weather wise but it soon gets better. I planned to have DB3 in March as IMO this is one of the best months to have a baby, DD2 will be 4 1/2 when she goes to school also she only get a year and 1/3 at nursery whilst DD1 gets 2 years (we are in Scotland). I was due in March but had a mc am now due in July again and really don't care. Plans and babies don't really go together.

pedilia · 27/02/2008 17:18

I have 2 that arrived in December, 1 in October so I was quite relieved when I knew this one was due in June!

LadyOfWaffle · 27/02/2008 17:20

(Hello Littleducks - longtime no see (Quootiepie!))

People are unbelievable sometimes - I have never really had fertility problems, but still feel so blessed and lucky to be pregnant again, I couldn't give s flying fuck if it was boy/girl, born in Jan/July or August (due in August ) Obviously there is a part of me thinking "oh, how lovely" having visions of sitting with DH, DS and newborn baby in the park this summer, and parts of me thinking "yikes, I'll be havily pregnant through all the heat (ha! Rain more like!) of the summer" but I wouldn't try to conceive only certain times of the year or anything, or aim for a September baby so they will be oldest in class, or a summer baby so they can have great birthday parties... My SIL keeps saying how much she wants a girl, and told me "oh, I'll be so jealous if you have a girl!" eeeerrr... ok. I hate the fact if I have a girl, my mum, my MIL and that side of the family will be running round like headless chickens, but not as much if it's another boy

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2008 17:27

YANBU at all. it really pisses me off

I would love a summer baby.
or an autumn one.
or a winter one.
or a spring one.

i couldnt give a flying fuck whether its born on the 29th feb, 25th dec, 1st april or 1st august, as long as this mythical baby arrives safely.

sweetkitty · 27/02/2008 17:44

I agree lissie I was one of those people that planned which month to get pregnant in, got pregnant that month and lost it, sharp reality check that you cannot plan some things.

Same thing with all the "oh you MUST want a boy comments" no I want a healthy baby thank you don't care whats between it's legs.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2008 17:47

my last pg my mother asked if i would be disappointed if it wasnt a girl.

i was furious with her.

LunarSea · 27/02/2008 18:03

when I had a m/c at 11 weeks after nearly 3 years of ttc, my friend who'd conceived both of hers in the first month of trying told me that it was better that way because I'd then be able to have a spring baby instead of a December one

littleducks · 27/02/2008 18:13

congrats lady of waffle! didnt realise who you were after name change, thought you had left! am in m'head now so we have to meet up and let toddlers run riot! im pregnant too and am due in a month