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AIBU?

to not give a S**t when my child is born

58 replies

beaniesteve · 27/02/2008 14:53

I am not pregnant but I am trying. If I have a Christmas baby, or a spring baby or a summer baby - I really don't care. I just want to become a parent.

A friend of mine has said for years 'oh I do hope you have a summer baby, that way you'll get all the summer off and it will be so much better'

I don't care! If I have to have a newborn in the middle of a long wet winter... I don't care! It is not remotely important when I have my baby! I just wish she would shut up about it. When I tell her I really don't care' she says 'oh but you will when you're stuck indoors with a small baby and can't go out anywhere'!!!!

OP posts:

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thefortbuilder · 27/02/2008 18:17

lady of waffle - when i told my parents we were having another boy my dad said "o'h what a shame" and my mum said "you're determined to not let me buy pink aren't you" - like i engineered it that way FFS.

saying all i've said about birth months, dh was quite happy when he thought ds1 would be oldest in his class with due date of 6 september, but with severe pre eclampsia and being born 8 weeks early he will now be one of the youngest! dh got it all in perspective (ie it REALLY doesn't matter) pretty quick!

VictorianSqualor · 27/02/2008 18:26

Lunar thats awful.

Lissie I can totally understand how you must feel sweetheart.

Sometimes people become so wrapped up in their own lvies and their fortunate ability to conceive and carry to term no problem that they don't understand how unimportant it is to some peopel who are just desperate to have that much longed for baby.

When I see how lucky I've been to be pg with no3 I do really wish everyone was as lucky, but it doesn't mean my desire for a VBA2C after two horrid sections(one prem one full-term) is any the less iyswim.

I'd imagine the same goes for people ttc at certain times/dates.

wheresthehamster · 27/02/2008 18:27

I thought I read on a thread once that if you want your child to go to an over-subscribed prep school where the children's names are put down at birth then you must try and plan for a September baby. If you have a summer baby - no chance, all the places will be filled!

Not sure if that is true or not thinking about it. That means all the children in the whole school will have autumn birthdays. Seems a bit odd.

Wallace · 27/02/2008 18:28

There is only a month between my three's birthdays. Not planned that way though

LadyOfWaffle · 27/02/2008 18:33

Emprexia · 27/02/2008 18:33

I dont think it matters when they're born.. i think the thing that matters is when you're pregnant, lol.

Having been pregnant in summer 06 and BOILED half to death, i don't think i'd want a summer pregnancy again.. i couldn't cope.

DS was born september 5th, so i was 8mo pregnant during my wedding anniversary in July... my anniversary present? An air cooler because it was do damn hot, even in the house with the doors open.

LyraSilvertongue · 27/02/2008 18:35

I didn't give this any though at all till it came time for DS1 to start school when he'd just turned four a few weeks before. Some of his classmates were already (or nearly) five. then I wished I hadn't had a summer baby. He'd do so much better at school if he wasn't the youngest.

Niecie · 27/02/2008 18:45

You are absolutely right - there is no right or wrong time to have a baby and you will both adapt to whatever the weather is. I think it would be nice to have to stay in and be cosy in the winter as I had both of mine when it was hot.

Kaishay is right - I was heavily pregnant with DS2 when the temperatures broke all records in 2003 and I wouldn't recommend it but on the other hand I wouldn't want to be sliding round on icy paths when I was 9 mths pregnant either.

However, you can try to plan these things but nature has a way of doing things her way so why set yourself up for disappointment in trying to concieve in a certain month?

melpomene · 27/02/2008 18:55

It's not unreasonable for an individual to decide that they would prefer their baby to be born in a particular season.

It is unreasonable and insensitive to expect others to share your preference, or to tell them they will have a tough time if they have a baby in winter.

I aimed for (and got) 2 spring babies. If I'm chatting to someone who's expecting in spring I'll tell them that it worked out well for us, but I wouldn't dream of suggesting that anyone else was likely to have a negative experience if they have a baby at another time.

LyraSilvertongue · 27/02/2008 18:58

The other disadvantage of having an August baby is that their birthday is in the school holidays so a lot of their friends are on holiday when they have their party. I end up inviting the whole class just to make sure he has a decent number coming.
Having said that though it's nice to be able to have birthday parties in the garden or some other outdoor venue.
Just a few things to consider.

BabiesEverywhere · 27/02/2008 19:45

I was pregnant through the Summer heatwave of 2006 and due again in summer I must be mad.

Divastrop · 27/02/2008 20:30

neicie-i had my ds2 in july 2003.i moved house when i was 8 months pregnant and we didnt have any hot water for a week,plus the older 2 had chickenpox,and we couldnt have baths

dd3 was my first planned baby,born in the spring as i had hoped,but she still got bronchiolitis in the november and ended up in hospital.as somebody said,babies and plans dont go together,and i certainly wouldnt dream of telling anybody else when they should have a baby.

WestCountryLass · 27/02/2008 20:52

I've got spring, summer and autumn babies and all I know is that when I had them I was jsut so glad they had arrived safe and sound, not when it was.

macdoodle · 27/02/2008 21:43

Well I mus be really "unlucky" I have a September baby (jee a whole extra year of childcare), and a Xmas baby....funny I conside myself twice blessed

bohemianbint · 27/02/2008 21:47

I try to conceive according to compatible starsigns. I'm only half joking. But I buggered it up anyway!

bookwormmum · 27/02/2008 21:52

My dd was a June baby so she gets presents every six months (and more at Easter and probably Autumn as well). I think to her that's pretty good placement in the year as birthdays go - to her . It had never occurred to me that I might ttc (not that I was ttc) a better birthday for her .

bookwormmum · 27/02/2008 21:55

Wallace - there is only about 6 weeks between my brothers birthday in early March and older dsis's birthday in early April with mine jammed mid-way in between them. My other sister has her birthday in September. I'm not quite sure what happened there . It does make Spring an expensive time in my family as ex BIL birthday is late Feb, my Mum's is early April and my niece's is mid-April plus there is Easter and Mothering Sunday to add to the mix. May is a good month as no one has a birthday .

Sidge · 27/02/2008 22:06

Don't get pregnant at Christmas because the maternity unit will be absolutely wedged when you are due in September, you won't be able to move for babies

Sidge · 27/02/2008 22:08

Oh and was I the only person to read the thread title in horror thinking the OP meant she wouldn't give a shit when her baby was born as in she wouldn't want it (Sidge was a bit all confused...)

LyraSilvertongue · 27/02/2008 22:12

Yes, that was just you Sidge

bookwormmum · 27/02/2008 22:14

I thought this was a protest against being induced at 39+1 or something .

EiWishFor3MoreWishes · 27/02/2008 22:21

hey beanie you are most definitely NOT being unreasonable!! i always said i would not want a baby born in mid-winter but my DD was due 28th dec born 8th jan and i couldnt be happier she wuldnt be her if had put off trying to avoid an xmas baby!! a baby anytime of year is a joy so dont be put off by your friends negativity!!! xmas babies rock!! BTW!!!
xx ei xx

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Sidge · 27/02/2008 22:24

Cheers Lyra

Sarahjct · 27/02/2008 22:29

Of course you're NBU. However... I had dd at the beginning of Jan this year and the first three or four weeks were miserable. I was already a bit depressed and it rained solidly the whole time so we couldn't go out. I sat on the sofa looking out at the grey horridness and really thought my life was over.

So I can kind of see where you're both coming from...

thefortbuilder · 28/02/2008 19:20

i also got told that if you have a boy you really want him in to be a september baby so that he isn't playing rugby against boys in the same year as him who are all much bigger - doesn't matter if he never wanted to play rugby

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