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Original poster

Topless abroad . Yes or no

648 replies

HowmuchcanispendatChristmas · 03/08/2023 16:03

Just after everyone's opinions. I'm on an all inclusive holiday . Nothing flash . European destination. Hot sunny . 3*. Would you feel offended if a female sunbathes topless at the pool? Just for context I have done , but put bikini top on to go in pool and her drinks . It's literally just going topless when laying on sunbed . More context age range is babies up to 70+ . Lots of different shapes and weights of people . Lots of bellies make and female and lots of big boobs on men. Like I say this is just for context . Just interested in people's opinions. I'm with my husband on holiday .

OP posts:
FoodCentre · 04/08/2023 13:20

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No, I mean be reasonable. You don't have to be topless to breastfeed in a cafe, you might be a bit clumsy and someone catches an eyeful in a second but that's it.

Maddy70 · 04/08/2023 13:20

It's fine. Put it on when walking around

Janieforever · 04/08/2023 13:39

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I don’t really think that passes the sniff test. I have literally never seen a woman breastfeed totally topless in public ever. At most one boob out with a baby attached, sure maybe a fleeting glimpse of a nipple but that’s all.

I understand fully if you did or do breastfeed totally topless in public, I assume you do, hence your comment, but I’d not say it’s the norm.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/08/2023 13:41

Unless the breast not feeding is just left hanging there, exposed to the elements instead of being under the woman's top as is the norm, it's not comparable to being topless.

Generally though, you may get the odd peek of nip as a baby latches/unlatches, but that's it.

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 13:54

PizzaPastaWine · 04/08/2023 11:55

I sunbathe topless when it's appropriate. Yes in Spain, Greece pool or beach. I haven't in Turkey or now my DS is with me because at 16 he wouldn't want to see his mum's boobs.

It would be attention seeking if I was playing water polo/sat at the beach bar but that's not generally how it is.

It's odd that some posters see it as tacky - when I see a woman topless if I think anything it's that I'm happy that she is happy in her own skin. Surely that should be celebrated?

Both DP and I use nudist beaches in Europe - there's nothing tacky about that and generally its European couples keeping themselves to themselves without any exhibition.

I don't understand this. You don't want your 16 year old DS to see your naked top half but it's ok if other 16 year olds do? You're surely acknowledging the act can be seen As sexual if you're queasy about your own son being exposed to it.

RattleRattle · 04/08/2023 13:57

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explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 14:13

Discrete up and under always worked well for me while breastfeeding. Didn't stop disapproving glances, mind. I was doing it in the US though, where I found the attitudes worse than here.

RattleRattle · 04/08/2023 14:18

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PizzaPastaWine · 04/08/2023 14:28

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 13:54

I don't understand this. You don't want your 16 year old DS to see your naked top half but it's ok if other 16 year olds do? You're surely acknowledging the act can be seen As sexual if you're queasy about your own son being exposed to it.

Show quote history

I didn't say that I was queasy about it. I couldn't give a damn. He would just rather not spend his afternoon interacting with me and looking at his mum's boobs. Nothing sexual about that, I'm just respecting his boundaries.

My DS has managed to be around the poolside with other topless women without any complaint or embarrassment.

Nokiding · 04/08/2023 14:34

An absolute non-issue. Not many people would bat an eyelid either way. Have a nice holiday.

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 14:34

But why would he not want to see them but it's ok for another 16 year old to? I just don't understand the difference in boundaries between one 16 year old and another if being topless isn't isn't about being sexual.

5128gap · 04/08/2023 14:43

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 14:34

But why would he not want to see them but it's ok for another 16 year old to? I just don't understand the difference in boundaries between one 16 year old and another if being topless isn't isn't about being sexual.

Yes. There is a definite lack of logic to this. Your breasts are apparantly just another part of your body. Not sexual, not taboo, just like a man's bare chest. Any problems with seeing them lie purely with the beholder. Unless it happens to be your own son. Then suddenly they become an embarrassment and breech of his boundaries.

Matildahoney · 04/08/2023 14:46

I always do, couldn't care less about what others think.
We were on a quiet beach in Cornwall this year, DP and I were in a pretty secluded bit, I was laid on my front and quite clearly had no top on from the lack of strap across my back. A group came along and chose to settle near us, I turned over after a little while and the woman got offended and embarrassed because her (20 something) brother could see what I had to offer, then kept connecting on 'the view ' I just laughed it off and they moved, still have no idea why on 3 miles of beach they couldn't move further along! Bloody ridiculous!

FoodCentre · 04/08/2023 14:46

Children should not be controlling what their mum does with parts of her body. Breasts aren't sexual so he needs to grow up. Right?

PizzaPastaWine · 04/08/2023 14:48

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 14:34

But why would he not want to see them but it's ok for another 16 year old to? I just don't understand the difference in boundaries between one 16 year old and another if being topless isn't isn't about being sexual.

Because I'm his mum, I'd be lying right next to him and this is where HIS boundaries lie.

Where we holiday you're not all bunched up together like sardines and there would clearly be distance between me and other people. I'm not their mum or interacting with them consistently.

If anyone would be offended by me lying there reading a book/sunbathing, whatever age I really couldn't care less. If it my sunbathing topless is deemed to be sexual by others then that is how they view it, not myself.

mewkins · 04/08/2023 14:58

Maireas · 03/08/2023 16:35

It used to be very, very common. Less so in recent years. I think it's all the camera phones and lack of privacy with images.

I think so too.

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 14:59

Matildahoney · 04/08/2023 14:46

I always do, couldn't care less about what others think.
We were on a quiet beach in Cornwall this year, DP and I were in a pretty secluded bit, I was laid on my front and quite clearly had no top on from the lack of strap across my back. A group came along and chose to settle near us, I turned over after a little while and the woman got offended and embarrassed because her (20 something) brother could see what I had to offer, then kept connecting on 'the view ' I just laughed it off and they moved, still have no idea why on 3 miles of beach they couldn't move further along! Bloody ridiculous!

could see what I had to offer
see this is what confuses me. You're sunbathing topless and presumably would say you're doing it for you and not to be sexual or for anyone else. yet you use language like this which appears to glorify your breasts as sexual. I am confused by many mixed messages I see on this thread, and lack of consistency as to who shouldn't and shouldn't see breasts.

To be clear I'm really don't care how women choose to sunbathe. I think sunbathing generally is a bit naff these days, breasts or not! But I think there's a lot of confused thinking and justification.

PizzaPastaWine · 04/08/2023 15:15

What do you find naff about sunbathing @explainthistomeplease

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 15:20

We just know it's bad for you now. Skin cancer. Wrinkles. That kind of thing. I did it as a teen in the 80s, silly me. Not so much now.
Thankfully a tan is not automatically seen as conferring good looks like it used to back in the day.
I'm outdoors plenty - walking, gardening, tennis. With hat and the right kit. I love a sunny day, but not just lying in it.

Blossomtoes · 04/08/2023 15:25

If breasts aren’t sexual why did we all make such a fuss about page 3 girls and Pirelli calendars?

Maireas · 04/08/2023 15:42

FoodCentre · 04/08/2023 14:46

Children should not be controlling what their mum does with parts of her body. Breasts aren't sexual so he needs to grow up. Right?

In our society, the way that the female form has been sexualised, yes they are.

Chellybelle · 04/08/2023 16:57

FoodCentre · 04/08/2023 14:46

Children should not be controlling what their mum does with parts of her body. Breasts aren't sexual so he needs to grow up. Right?

Of course they are. I'm a lesbian and breasts are highly erotic to me and the vast majority of straight men.

explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 16:59

They're very definitely sexual between me and my husband. He loves them and I love him loving them!

I don't understand the 'they're not sexual' argument. Do women who say this get no pleasure from their own?

RattleRattle · 04/08/2023 17:10

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explainthistomeplease · 04/08/2023 17:12

Absolutely @RattleRattle but they do seem to have a sideline in sexual pleasure. Mine do anyway! So to that extent, under some circumstances, they are sexual are they not?