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Original poster

Topless abroad . Yes or no

648 replies

HowmuchcanispendatChristmas · 03/08/2023 16:03

Just after everyone's opinions. I'm on an all inclusive holiday . Nothing flash . European destination. Hot sunny . 3*. Would you feel offended if a female sunbathes topless at the pool? Just for context I have done , but put bikini top on to go in pool and her drinks . It's literally just going topless when laying on sunbed . More context age range is babies up to 70+ . Lots of different shapes and weights of people . Lots of bellies make and female and lots of big boobs on men. Like I say this is just for context . Just interested in people's opinions. I'm with my husband on holiday .

OP posts:
purpleboy · 04/08/2023 00:51

I think it's really tacky, luckily we don't stay at places where this is considered normal.

Breasts are sexualised it's sad but there it is. There is a reason women don't walk around town centers with their breasts out, or forests or theme parks etc... It is attention seeking, it's very obvious.
I really don't like it around children, they can't consent to seeing it and I think from about age 9 upwards when they really start noticing bodies of the opposite sex it's not really great for young boys to be forced to be around it.
If you want to do it at the beach I have much less of a problem with it, but around a family pool I'd definitely judge you.

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 00:55

I 100% believe that's what it all boils down to yes. I think a person's own insecurities affects every aspect of their being. Sometimes to a crippling degree. Some of the posts on here have been eye opening. But not surprising.

Soggysoggydew · 04/08/2023 00:57

MavisChunch29 · 04/08/2023 00:38

My opinion is this:

  • Is anyone else sunbathing topless by the hotel pool?
  • If yes, go ahead, if not, don't.
  • Generally, don't, because it's not something people generally do by shared hotel pools, and in some countries it is definitely not acceptable.
  • Generally, don't, because it's a bad idea to burn any parts of the body, which sensitive and less exposed areas would be and also sunbathe for a long time to get an even tan because of the risk of skin cancer.
  • It might have been more prevalent in the 1980s but then so was smoking and teenage girls appearing topless in a daily newspaper, among other things. Times change. People also know about skin cancer and that some men take any opportunity to take and share images of women and girls for sexual purposes, and that it is much easier to take photos these days.

@HowmuchcanispendatChristmas can put sunscreen on her breasts.

She is in a country where it’s legal and other people are doing it (although even if she is the only one it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t- as long as the hotel doesn’t have a rule against it).

The op knows camera phones exist and clearly isn’t concerned about it- most men won’t take pictures, and women should not have to change their behaviour for a few lowlifes.

etinaz · 04/08/2023 01:00

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 00:55

I 100% believe that's what it all boils down to yes. I think a person's own insecurities affects every aspect of their being. Sometimes to a crippling degree. Some of the posts on here have been eye opening. But not surprising.

So you '100%' believe that posters saying one thing - y'know, stuff about generations of sexualisation of women's bodies and all that - are actually just massively insecure about their OH staring at another women's tits?

SocksAndTheCity · 04/08/2023 01:04

How is a woman quietly minding her own business on holiday (lying on a sun lounger reading, or whatever) in a pair of bikini bottoms in any way 'attention seeking'? Just because some people might pay attention, doesn't mean she's deliberately trying to invite it and it's more than likely she isn't the slightest bit interested.

I can't see how teaching 'young boys' that breasts are something to be scandalised by is in any way helpful, and I'll also point out that leery men will take covert pictures of women regardless of what they might be wearing, especially in summer. Women are not responsible for this.

Brown888 · 04/08/2023 01:06

If being topless isn't a sexual act, then would OP and PPs who are happy to be topless allow their 16 year old daughters to walk around topless at a place where others are? Just curious to see what others think.
PS I wouldn't for myself. I'm quite protective over who sees my body. It's not a public gallery for any old fart to fawn over.

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:07

Yes @etinaz The sexualisation of women's bodies has nothing to do with a woman choosing to sunbathe topless. It is just a woman choosing to sunbathe topless.

etinaz · 04/08/2023 01:17

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:07

Yes @etinaz The sexualisation of women's bodies has nothing to do with a woman choosing to sunbathe topless. It is just a woman choosing to sunbathe topless.

You said that posters with an opposing view were petrified and insecure. In fact you said you '100% believe" that.

THAT is what sounds baffling to me. That you could genuinely think that the coherent, considered views on this thread can be reduced to jealous insecurity.

Your views of women/other women are woeful.

QueenCamilla · 04/08/2023 01:19

I've sunbathed topless on a beach in UK quite a few times and on a couple of occasions with my 5yo son.

No one offended, no one stared, no one cared.
In fact, having tits out is a great way to stop men from approaching - they just don't. It's actually more effective than having my child with me, which also tends to work.
I put the top on to swim/walk around.

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:23

Nah @etinaz they are realistic. I have seen too many posts that say 'attention seeking' I have seen too many posts with thinly veiled nastiness. Women are under constant pressure by social media to look their best. We are turning on each other. As another poster pointed out very eloquently, we are going backwards.

etinaz · 04/08/2023 01:29

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:23

Nah @etinaz they are realistic. I have seen too many posts that say 'attention seeking' I have seen too many posts with thinly veiled nastiness. Women are under constant pressure by social media to look their best. We are turning on each other. As another poster pointed out very eloquently, we are going backwards.

Your words, cut and pasted:

I imagine the posters against are insecure and are petrified of their OH's staring at an attractive, confident woman. That's what it all boils down to really

You think women who disagree with topless sunbathing are petrified and insecure. But now you're bleating about women 'turning on each other'?

You're almost funny.

QueenCamilla · 04/08/2023 01:29

Brown888 · 04/08/2023 01:06

If being topless isn't a sexual act, then would OP and PPs who are happy to be topless allow their 16 year old daughters to walk around topless at a place where others are? Just curious to see what others think.
PS I wouldn't for myself. I'm quite protective over who sees my body. It's not a public gallery for any old fart to fawn over.

Beach or poolside are quite specific locations though - everyone basically in their wet/skimpy underwear. It's not exactly shocking to see some boobs there? It's more akin to seeing bare female chest in a sauna or gym shower.
Who cares. I wouldn't mind if my 16yo was to sunbathe topless, though that's exactly the age that it would never ever happen - body hang ups and all that.

Reminds me that I feel a certain sadness when I see 7 year olds in bikini tops. Just why?

Bluebutred · 04/08/2023 01:39

Yes me - go for it, if you’re happy and comfortable with it then that’s all that matters !

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:55

Good grief @etinaz You didnt have to go to the bother of cutting and pasting, you could have just asked to repeat myself bless you. I am going to have to join the dots for you, stop you from straining yourself. Women are under constant pressure due to social media, men and their porn habits, those people around us who just seem to have it all. Women (not all) are struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy. I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE INADEQUATE. I believe that some of those women come on to mumsnet and try to shame women who don't have those same insecurities. Now, im not saying anything negative about those women, it's a normal, human reaction. But yeah, I think they bleat on about sexualisation of women's bodies on a thread about topless sunbathing because they cannot stand the thought of their OH's looking at a women with a cracking pair of boobs and abit of self confidence. Anyhow, I seem to have triggered you and its late so please leave me be with my differing opinion that I believe I am entitled to? Thanking you 🙏

etinaz · 04/08/2023 02:17

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:55

Good grief @etinaz You didnt have to go to the bother of cutting and pasting, you could have just asked to repeat myself bless you. I am going to have to join the dots for you, stop you from straining yourself. Women are under constant pressure due to social media, men and their porn habits, those people around us who just seem to have it all. Women (not all) are struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy. I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE INADEQUATE. I believe that some of those women come on to mumsnet and try to shame women who don't have those same insecurities. Now, im not saying anything negative about those women, it's a normal, human reaction. But yeah, I think they bleat on about sexualisation of women's bodies on a thread about topless sunbathing because they cannot stand the thought of their OH's looking at a women with a cracking pair of boobs and abit of self confidence. Anyhow, I seem to have triggered you and its late so please leave me be with my differing opinion that I believe I am entitled to? Thanking you 🙏

Anyone interested in your little diatribe can just read your previous posts, that I've simply quoted back at you.

Here's your quote again: I imagine the posters against are insecure and are petrified of their OH's staring at an attractive, confident woman. That's what it all boils down to really

I'm happy to watch anyone using words like 'triggered' and the rest of it to backpedal from their crappy anti-women views twist themselves into shapes to justify it though, so crack on.

ReginaRegina · 04/08/2023 02:20

I probs would've been embarrassed in my youth but less so nowadays. Hubby is usually starkers at the pool anyways.

BungleandGeorge · 04/08/2023 02:24

depends on
whether it is acceptable in the country you are visiting, if the locals also do it. I don’t choose to but also hate the drive for women to ‘cover up’ , it’s a step
backwards and after all they are just boobs and many people think it’s fine for men to walk around with moobs and beer gut hanging out.

Huffington · 04/08/2023 02:28

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 04/08/2023 01:55

Good grief @etinaz You didnt have to go to the bother of cutting and pasting, you could have just asked to repeat myself bless you. I am going to have to join the dots for you, stop you from straining yourself. Women are under constant pressure due to social media, men and their porn habits, those people around us who just seem to have it all. Women (not all) are struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy. I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE INADEQUATE. I believe that some of those women come on to mumsnet and try to shame women who don't have those same insecurities. Now, im not saying anything negative about those women, it's a normal, human reaction. But yeah, I think they bleat on about sexualisation of women's bodies on a thread about topless sunbathing because they cannot stand the thought of their OH's looking at a women with a cracking pair of boobs and abit of self confidence. Anyhow, I seem to have triggered you and its late so please leave me be with my differing opinion that I believe I am entitled to? Thanking you 🙏

Jesus Pills just stop FFS. You're all over the place trying to edit yourself. You sound like my sexist uncle on holiday after his third mojito 😂

elifont · 04/08/2023 02:38

QueenCamilla · 04/08/2023 01:19

I've sunbathed topless on a beach in UK quite a few times and on a couple of occasions with my 5yo son.

No one offended, no one stared, no one cared.
In fact, having tits out is a great way to stop men from approaching - they just don't. It's actually more effective than having my child with me, which also tends to work.
I put the top on to swim/walk around.

What age would/if you stop in front of son? I'm in the stage of would love to be topless, but have sons becoming awkward and I don't know how to be pro women and have sons who either point and laugh or hate boobs

Maireas · 04/08/2023 06:19

ReginaRegina · 04/08/2023 02:20

I probs would've been embarrassed in my youth but less so nowadays. Hubby is usually starkers at the pool anyways.

At a hotel pool?!

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/08/2023 06:42

Why are we still pretending that women's breasts (when not performing their main function of feeding a child) aren't sexual?

Why are some people acting as if anyone with an issue is a dried up, unattractive shrew, and the OP must be an absolute poolside goddess, with the most remarkable breasts known to mankind?

I don't think being topless poolside at a family resort is appropriate - why is it automatically assumed that the OP must be more attractive than me, therefore my opinion must stem from jealousy and insecurity? It's gross.

Custardslices · 04/08/2023 06:48

@pillsthrillsandbellyache

Your assuming they have a 'cracking pair of breasts' and their 'OH will constantly look'

My DH can go to a beach like this he won't be drooling and ogling rushing off to wank as they were so hot.

Soggysoggydew · 04/08/2023 07:04

Brown888 · 04/08/2023 01:06

If being topless isn't a sexual act, then would OP and PPs who are happy to be topless allow their 16 year old daughters to walk around topless at a place where others are? Just curious to see what others think.
PS I wouldn't for myself. I'm quite protective over who sees my body. It's not a public gallery for any old fart to fawn over.

I’ve been sunbathing topless since 14/15.

Curseofthenation · 04/08/2023 07:14

I'm not a sunbathing person in general but definitely would never go topless. There are far too many creepers around.

Not to be square, but sunbathing is also really ageing. I find it quite odd that people that want to look their best (via a tan) don't consider the fact that they're making their skin look more and more haggard. So, I'd probably be thinking this rather than paying attention to your tits if I was walking along a beach.

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