shaming of mothers with a career?!

[rubopp]

Again today I’ve read a thread where a women is criticised for needing childcare when their child is under one.

AIBU to think if we had threads/comments saying ‘why aren’t you in a decent job to provide well for your dc?’, that they would be deleted?

There’s actually lots of evidence that children do well in life and thrive in higher income homes. No, it’s not everything and overall it probably doesn’t matter… just like it doesn’t matter in the long run if someone decides to stay home with their dc until their dc go to school.

What IS this shaming of mothers who dare to have a career?! Jealously? Narrow mindedness?

I find it mind boggling that people think you can take years out of a career and come back to it… in highly successful roles actually you can’t do that. Though I suspect those people who post such nasty things have no idea if they’ve never achieved that themselves.

There’s lots of benefits to being able to fund all your child’s activities, holidays, books, cultural trips especially as they get older and need house deposits, cars etc so let’s not pretend that the only way to raise a child is to live frugally and don’t dare to make anything of yourself.

Rant over.

You are prioritizing your child.

To hell with what anyone else thinks

People do change though. Someone who has been ‘solid’ and in a relationship for many years can up and leave, maybe have their head turned by someone else and become a person that their ex doesn’t even recognise. That isn’t down to the now single parents poor choices. It isn’t on them at all actually.

First rule of misogyny: 'Women are responsible for what men do'.

@Spacecowboys

Yes , of course that's a real possibility.
It's also a very real possibility women choose lower fathers.

So true!!

@SerafinasGoose
I'm literally saying women have a choice in their sexual partner and thus choice in who fathers their children (excepting SA of course).

How is that anti-women?
Pro women is telling them to be careful who they have sex with as it's possible they'll get pregnant and that will be the child's father.

Encouraging responsibility of women is exactly the opposite of men being in control...

Tbh a woman's place is always in the wrong. Society and thus various governments, professionals/scientists, media etc like to play us against each other. Hence all the various studies, statistics , blaming, shaming and bun fights.

When it comes down to it, women are expected to work like they don't have kids and parent like they don't work. So we'll always fall short in some way.

I've honestly never felt this way. Perhaps it's rare for men to value women as mothers and/or for working.
I'm very fortunate to have good men (father, partner , brothers , colleagues,bosses) on my life.

I’ve not read the entire thread, but want to point out that I was regularly “shamed” for being a SAHM - like to my face on a very regular basis by multiple people - very “what do you actually do all day?”, “don’t you feel that you’re not a good role model to your daughter” and all about how of course I can do XYZ because I don’t work and generally very much looking down on me. I have to say I haven’t felt “shamed” at all since I’ve been back at work.

That's so sad to hear. I wish SAHP were much more valued. What's more important that being a parent you know

Same old thread, don't people get bored discussing the same things on here!

Surely if you don't want to discuss it you don't.

I can't understand people who click on a thread, read it then say this thread is pointless. Why engage?

I agree!