to think that SAHM's with school-age children are in fact just stay at home people?

[Pissyflaps]

I'm going to get flamed backwards for this, but I really don't care. I'm also going to be accused of all manner of trollery, bite me.

It's my opinion, I want yours - so, SAHM's who's children are at school-all day, aren't they just stay at home people? Not a lot of parenting goes on as far as I can tell.

hello HMC - long time no see

Hi Iota - don't get on here much these days. Tsk! - the place is practically unrecognisable

How very true HMC

what a weird op?

i wish i was a sahm you are so lucky,
if i was a sahm id love every minute

I am mad now. I have always worked but I will defend to the hilt anyones right to work or not to work. It is called choice, and we are luckily enough to live in a country that allows us to choose the way we want to live.

Some SAHMs want to work but cannot due to expensive after school childcare, inability to plan childcare due to spouses erratic shift pattern etc.

I am also of the opinion that what other people do in their own lives is no concern of mine unless it affects my life adversely.

The only reasonable objection you could raise to SAHMs of school-aged children not being in work would be if they were claiming benefits and you felt aggrieved about contributing to this ???

I am one of these 'stay home people'. I LOVE it and don't care what people think. I used to be a f/t working mum and used childcare 40 hrs a week. I soon got fed up (as did DD)and realised I was doing what i felt pressure to and not what i wanted to and quit work. DH job is shifts which change often so me being here at least there is always one of us at home. I help at school and have been the only volunteer for the last few terms. I am happy SAH as like the freedom to do what i want. I have also started an OU degree and love being able to pick my kids up. I like the feeling of opting out of what the government try to tell me to do for their own benefit. We have everything we need and don't need more tat.

Why are people so obsessed with work, it is not the only thing that defines you. Are you only valued if you can turn a profit for someone else? Why isn't one person at work and one at home acceptable yet two people working and getting a third party in to do the childcare is.

Oh bugger it. I've been telling everyone dh is a sahp but I have obviously been misleading people.

You could argue that it would be simpler and more accurate to describe people who don't have jobs as people who don't have jobs and leave out all references to children or their gender.

scaryteacher - i am also a teacher and dreading the return to work for exactly the reasons you mention.

but all it boils down to at the end of the day (for those who are married or with a partner anyway), is - does your OH earn enough for you to stay off? mine doesn't. or alternatively, do YOU earn enough for dh to stay home? i don't! dh would glady quit work to look after dd but my salary doesn't pay the bills.

I agree with Jellybeans last paragraph. What does it matter whether what you do generates an income or not? Is money the only way of deciding whether somebody is a worthwhile person.

I am a SAHM although I have one who is still at pre-school but I have plenty to do. SAHP tend to do more than just look after their children. They study, do voluntary work, help their partners with their businesses (I do all of these).

Anybody would think that having a paid job made you a more worthwhile person - judging by some of the people I see when out - it isn't particularly onerous. I got treated to a loud conversation between 2 Tesco's checkout assistants today talking about their holidays. Wow what a worthwhile contribution to society. They aren't alone.

There have been a lot of threads recently about who should be called what (working mother, SAHM, WOTM, etc etc etc). I wish we weren't so hung up on labels as they seem an underhand way of judging people to me.

nkf - you are right.

I say "I don't work", or "I don't have a job".

But then someone always says something about looking after children being a really hard or worse important job, and that just makes me want to slap them.

But I don't...

So after reading about 9 of the 12 pages it seems that SAHMs justify themselves by having children who are constantly ill, and sending their children to schools which require an hour's travel to get there. Have I got that right?

No that isn't right and anyway why do we have to "justify" ourselves or be judged by anybody else? Why are WOHM so worried about what we do all day? What business is it of anybody else but their family?

not in my case Marge - my kids are very healthy and school is 5 mins away (in car)

mothers are always people aren't they?

What a funny OP

If you mean that sahms with school age children are lazy, well maybe some are and some aren't.

Many of them can't afford childcare because their jobs don't pay enough, and get deskilled while at home, and then find it difficult to find the right job. Some people want to stay at home with their children and it is more than simple economics forcing them out of work.

But they are still people, and all the people with children are still parents, so I don't see the point of this thread.

Oh, I know I know. I'm just jealous that's all.

In my job - when we are inputting customers work status one of the options is 'home maker' - guess its a modern day Housewife but I think much nicer and would prefer it to being called a stay at home mum.

"Home maker" sounds a bit arts and crafty to me. I think I would just put "unemployed."

You could just put "unemployable" or "bone-idle"

In the spirit of the OP of course

Generally speaking, the kids fend for themselves until about 8.30am, at which point I yell down to check if they've loaded the tumble dryer yet.

Then I have a long bath, while Dh gets them out of the house, and if it's Tuesday, I paint my toenails. A bit of the old Jezza (for the parenting tips) and Fern and Phil sorts the morning out, then I round it off with a couple of Sweet and Sour pot noodles.

In the afternoon, I am ferociously busy, getting the ready meals de-cellophaned and prepped for the microwave. By the time the kids get home, I am knackered.

I am a paragon.