To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

I’m shocked that all the self employed people and business owners I know apparently don’t work.

Cleaners, hairdressers, beauticians, a dentist, electricians, plumbers, contractors, consultants on all sorts of unusual specialties, farmers, photographers, marketing professionals, physical trainers and plenty I’ve forgotten I’m sure. All spending hours doing stuff related to their profession/business/specialisms, earning money, sometimes employing others - all paying tax and maybe vat and needing insurance, and bookkeepers and accountants. And none of them actually work according to the OP. Mind blowing stuff.

Honestly OP I’d say you’re projecting. You I think deep down would love the security he has, you say he doesn’t have a job. But he does he manages properties, these give him an income.

Personally for me if I could afford it then as much as I love what I do, I would retire and have my own business, instead.
Overall time is finite. Unless you can time travel.

If he has several houses to manage then he is right it is work. He isn't alone in living off rental income.

This. I knew a woman who married a rich chap with an income from a Family Trust Fund. Thought she'd be in clover for the rest of her life. They divorced and she discovered she couldn't get a bean from him - all tied up in the Trust. ( This why rich families have Trust Funds . Can't alienate money from the family.)

The only problem for society at large is that the guy isn't paying any national insurance, so compared with a worker on the same income, he's paying less "into the pot" for public finances etc. Whilst tax rates are the same on all income, national insurance is another tax but only levied on workers, not on investment income.

But if you have the option to not do that, then why wouldn't you take it? Sounds like you've got a touch of the green eyed monster OP..

This happened to me.

Luckily I maintained my job (and sadly inherited from both my parents) so I was able to set myself up again.

My ex-husband is almost 40 and never worked a day in his life. His parents still fund him. Which means he has no income on paper so he also isn’t liable for child maintenance despite driving a car that cost more than my annual salary and living in what looks like a lovely 4-bed house in a great area.

It obviously is a different background, and you are unaccustomed to it.

You sound so resentful when you say he goes to parties and has a good time!

One thing is that if your daughter has to work, she could end up with resentment and envy (like you?) while he indulges in these frivolous pastimes!

And just one last thing- is what he is saying about his circumstances actually true? People can be such liars...

If this guy has no intention of working, he is not accumulating a pension either.

Unless the rental income will sustain him when he reaches pensionable age.

YABVVVU my brother is a multimillionaire business man. His children all have TFs, if they don't want to do paid work, why should they if they don't need to? If you were to win the lottery @queenofsheep, would you carry on working?

You have no idea if he's paying into a private pension.

So you’re jealous?

If he's living from a property portfolio and trust fund, he won't need a pension, as those income sources will just continue when he reaches "retirement" age.

It literally says “allowed” in the OP

“AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?”

You have a very narrow minded idea of what work involves @queenofsheep .

Managing properties is work, as is running any kind of business.

Not all work is working for someone else, clocking in and out, picking up a wage at the end of the month.

I can’t stop laughing at “allowed”. OP should call the police.

I’d also absolutely love for my daughter to end up in this situation!

depends on how much work is involved in managing the properties. I think I'd expect him to have at least a part time job in addition to this.

If he was employed by someone else to manage properties would you expect him to also have an additional part time job?
Surely managing properties is a valid profession. The fact they are his properties shouldn't make any difference. Managing properties isn't an easy job

You’ve obviously never worked in a family business.

your boss is family. There is no getting away from them

you sound like a snob

What an unpleasant viewpoint.
Your jealousy is obvious.
Why not try to be happy for him and more importantly for your daughter.

Errrrr....... I work for a chap that owns lots of properties? That forms a big part of his income. Can't see the problem.

I don't think she sounds like a snob. Quite the opposite, I think she sounds lacking in ambition and jealous as hell.

@queenofsheep
I would not be bothered by the question of a woman in the wings; I would be more concerned about your willingness to wait I the wings while he sorts his life.

Liberate him so that he can have all of the space that he needs, but in the interim, he should vacate your space.

Let him go and wish him well on his journey. Your marriage is not something that he can place on hold or in lay away until he decides whether he wants .If he is so confused as to what he wants, the needs a therapist rather than a wife.

You should have enough self respect to know that you do not want anyone who has to decide if he wants you. Your sense of dignity should let you know that he brings nothing to the table worth waiting in Limbo while he makes his decision.

My boss has a very good pension fund. He contributes from the money he earns from his properties.