Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

611 replies

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 16:48

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

OP posts:
CapEBarra · 01/08/2023 19:48

That sounds like a fantastic life, and given he has a trust fund I’m guessing his parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. live similarly. It’s a way of life for many people and how a huge chunk of the aristos live theirs and always have. It’s different to the way you live yours though my only concern would be that my DD didn’t give up her career to travel/have kids with him unless they were married. But while she’s young and having fun I’d tell her to crack on and send me lots of photos..

Lisajacj70 · 01/08/2023 19:51

Allowed to do this? Lol There are many people who, through hard work or luck have enough properties to rent them out and make a good income. It’s called being a landlord with a proper portfolio and is a job in itself!

Oohmissus · 01/08/2023 19:53

Kazzyhoward · 01/08/2023 19:31

If he's living from a property portfolio and trust fund, he won't need a pension, as those income sources will just continue when he reaches "retirement" age.

Show quote history

Spot on. I haven't got a pension, as such, because I won't need one. It's a fantastic position to be in, and I'd recommend it to anyone.

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/08/2023 19:53

You just sound jealous OP. He has private income, it has sod all to do with you and as long as he is a decent boyfriend, I'd be glad my daughter was with somebody nice. What an odd thread.

RattleRattle · 01/08/2023 19:53

This reply has been deleted

This user is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Mayhem3 · 01/08/2023 19:54

Are you worried he’s doing something illegal or just jealous that your DD has a better life than you?

BMW6 · 01/08/2023 19:56

OP lots of people come from wealthy families who don't need paid work as they have independent means.

Why on earth would you want them in employment unnecessarily when someone who needs paid work can do that job? What would be the benefit??

Your resentment is tangible!

CapEBarra · 01/08/2023 19:57

I think most people here are hugely underestimating his wealth. He has a trust fund. He’s in his 20s and has properties. Most people in their 20s can’t afford a 1 bedroom flat yet he has ‘properties’. He is a wealthy man who likely comes from a very wealthy family. He doesn’t need to worry about pensions, supervisors, or allowances (that’s not what a trust fund is, btw). He can afford frequent holidays and parties.

studyinscarlet · 01/08/2023 19:57

I think even people with a large amount of inherited wealth ought to work, particularly a young man. Work is not just to earn money - you need a vocation and do something to try to make the world a better place.

whatabeautifulwedding · 01/08/2023 19:59

Sorry OP but you sound jealous and bitter. He's doing nothing wrong.

BMW6 · 01/08/2023 20:00

studyinscarlet · 01/08/2023 19:57

I think even people with a large amount of inherited wealth ought to work, particularly a young man. Work is not just to earn money - you need a vocation and do something to try to make the world a better place.

Not at all! Not everyone needs or is suitable for a "vocation".

As for doing something to make the world a better place - what pretentious twaddle!!

Gremlins101 · 01/08/2023 20:03

drpet49 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I wouldn’t be attracted a man who didn’t earn a honest living.

I agree with this 100%

But it's up to your daughter I guess.

MrsSquirrel · 01/08/2023 20:04

If you are genuinely shocked by a young person from a wealthy family living off a trust fund, then you are very naive. Inherited wealth is no a new phenomenon. Your dd is correct that managing rental properties is work.

Your dd is happy with him. Is he an honest decent person? Does he treat her well? That's all you need to be concerned about.

inamarina · 01/08/2023 20:06

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 18:05

Well, if you've ever had a real job and had to get bossed around by your superiors and colleagues, I think he's taken the easy way out in comparison...

Show quote history

Well, good for him. Does everyone need to go through the experience of being bossed around?
My husband has an old friend who didn’t have a tust fund or wealthy parents, but also couldn’t stand being „bossed around by superiors or colleagues“, so he always did his own thing.
There are lots of people like this.

LlynTegid · 01/08/2023 20:06

DD has a boyfriend whose income and work are not typical. My concern would be a suspicion that from what the OP describes, he could be the kind of man who serially ends relationships once a girlfriend is over 35. I hope I'm wrong, but that kind of rich man is not unusual.

Noizettely · 01/08/2023 20:07

Idle hands and all that. He will have lots of spare time.

guvguv · 01/08/2023 20:15

It sounds like he's very savvy with his money.

PinkIcedCream · 01/08/2023 20:16

He sounds like your average wannabe Tory MP 🤔

Summerpeachblossom · 01/08/2023 20:18

Yeah, I wouldn't feel great about my daughter being with someone like this. He's essentially had everything handed to him on a plate and is now living off the hard work of others. Yes, he might have to do a bit of admin work, but I doubt it's that hard. To me, it displays a lack of ambition and direction - I don't see how you could live like this and not feel a bit entitled. I would want to be very sure my daughter didn't end up giving up on her dreams to be supported by him.

ivykaty44 · 01/08/2023 20:23

Well, if you've ever had a real job

a real job

thats the problem isn't it - its the difference between earning a living and making money - everyone is allowed to do either

PerspiringElizabeth · 01/08/2023 20:23

OP what is wrong with taking the easy way out and why has that offended you/made you think less of him? Think about that. It’s interesting. Why are you wishing someone worked harder? It’s a sad perspective.

Threenow · 01/08/2023 20:26

What do you mean "allowed to do this"? What a strange question. There are many different ways of earning a living, if he is getting by on what he earns then it has nothing whatsoever to do with you, or anyone else, that he is not going to a regular job. Managing a property very much is working btw. If a young man in his twenties wins a fortune in a lottery should he also be "working"?.

Threenow · 01/08/2023 20:28

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 18:05

Well, if you've ever had a real job and had to get bossed around by your superiors and colleagues, I think he's taken the easy way out in comparison...

Show quote history

Why shouldn't he take the easy way out? I would in the circumstances. You sound envious - not a good trait.

LifeExperience · 01/08/2023 20:29

He is working. Maintaining properties is work. I think you're being very narrow minded.

EffortlessDesmond · 01/08/2023 20:30

You don't need to be employed to be a good egg. And often, when you hit 30 or so, you realise that being employed on wages means that someone else is earning more than you are from your work.

That was the starting point for DH to start a company. I was already successful in self-employment, so I funded our living expenses for about three years, until the company turned a profit.

A few years later, we started a Self Invested Personal Pension in trust form and bought a commercial property, a bog standard industrial shed in a provincial town. And the rent on it will provide a very sensible supplement to our state pensions for as long as it is occupied, plus the interest on saved money. And it's a trust so our then infant son (now 25) has a share in it. He can't touch it until he's 55 but it is separate from our estate so (under current rules) it is outside the scope of inheritance tax.

Swipe left for the next trending thread