To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

I’m as left wing as they come, albeit drawing a line at communism, but age has taught me that society will never be equal. George Orwell was right.

That’s a very different scenario though to someone who has grown up around money, who has seen their family build their lives etc

Lottery winners have a massive change in life. Big changes in life often end up causing marriage breakdowns and the likes.

I keep thinking about hugh grants character in About a Boy where he basically lived off royalties from his dads estate and was in the business of inheritance.
His character was described and portrayed as empty and aimless. just because you are born into a lot of money really doesn’t mean you need to party all day and do nothing useful.

Define useful. There are very few jobs that are truly useful.

I would be shocked if someone was in their 20’s, self made, and making an income from property.

It doesn’t shock me at all that someone with inherited wealth is able to do this.

Yes valid point.

For op’s dd who has working class roots and a very different upbringing, it may be pertinent.

But he did have the luxury of choice. So thank you for pricing my point.

Its not about what the majority don't have. He has this opportunity so of course he would take it...

No, not This. His circumstances haven't changed. A lottery win from a working class person if a massive lifestyle change.
A lottery win to someone already rich doesn't mean as much.

It’s amazing how much some people assume they know about this guy.

This really is the thread that keeps on giving

A lottery winner is very different to someone who has grown up in a wealthy family and is used to it.

I agree, I thought it was an interesting angle for posters declaring they wouldn’t work if they could suddenly afford not to.

Op’s dd clearly hasn’t been brought up around huge wealth either. Her bf may influence the choices she makes. She appears to have “adopted” his lifestyle to some degree?

Whether you’ve grown up cushioned by vast wealth or not, an absence of “working towards life goals” and achieving them yourself (owning a home, upgrading a car, affording a holiday, moving up a career ladder or saving up for something you long for) may mean you lack purpose or drive or even satisfaction in life?
It could mean an absence of learnt responsibility, resilience and independence.

This is just me pontificating.

A lottery win to someone already rich doesn’t mean as much

Id like to think they aren’t playing- that’s just being a greedy cunt 😬

This is just me pontificating.

Yes, it is. This guy’s a graduate, I’d say a degree was a major life goal, wouldn’t you?

Yes I’d class a degree as a finite life goal (if simply to further your knowledge) or perhaps more a means to a life goal for most people who want to access a career in their field?

Lots of people work for their families business and always have done when you were young and before.
Lots of wealthy people live off of trust funds and don’t and have never worked. So?
I have a friend who lets out houses. She sits at home all day reading books and sewing. She has to manage her houses, it’s not hard but she earns money from it so that’s her job.
I work for myself and have no one bossing me around and have no colleagues. It’s my job.

Yes but then the left would argue that although those inequalities exist they can be lessened by a fairer distribution of wealth.
Closing the loopholes on avoidance of inheritance tax for example. Family trust funds which pay generous allowances are often used to transfer assets whilst avoiding inheritance tax.

Actually most jobs serve some purpose or you wouldn’t be able to draw a salary from them or at least they are part of the System that helps society as we know it to function..

as others have pointed out , working also helps with self development and having a work ethic Is no bad thing. Are you really saying a life spent partying is something admirable and we should aspire to?

He's a trust fund kid he can

As long as he was taking tangible steps to make a difference and improve the world in some way, I would be fine with this.

Better than my Ex who was happy to barely work, bring in a pittance when he did work, but mainly live off me.

It'll come back to bite him at some point, unless he does it properly, pays NI and has set up a private pension. or also inherits a large amount.

My ex-dsd bummed around at home until she was 29, living off Daddy's handouts, then she finally took her PGCE and started work as a primary teacher. I found it weird as well, these pseudo-children, not having adult responsible lives.

It's only recently occurred to her that to get her state pension, she now has no choice but to work until she is 64, and her personal pension is missing the most valuable decade. She won't inherit gazillions to cover the gap so she's struggling to fix the issue.

Could you give sources SmileyClare? I have found the opposite in studies and that there is little impact long term (positive or negative) to mental health and happiness. Although it generally effects how people relate to their finances (positively) and, apparently, makes them more right wing!

However, these studies are about a change in fortunes and the boyfriend is unlikely to be a lottery winner and is likely to be used to this level of wealth (bit of an assumption but that's the feeling I get from the OP's posts). So these points don't really follow.

Also, he may be working handling the rental properties.

Honestly, I think she should marry him.

When I was about her age I had a brief thing with a man with loads of family money. I broke it off because there were things about him I didn’t like. And I went on to marry my now husband who I love who has no family money. But now I have a couple of kids who don’t sleep, and a stressful job that I’ll have to do for at least the next 20 years, I sometimes think how much easier my life would have been if I’d opted for Mr Moneybags.

That’s completely false equivalence. Just because someone gets paid doesn’t make their job useful. I give you sex workers. We saw exactly which jobs are useful in 2020 while the majority drew furlough and baked banana bread and nobody missed their work. As a society we’re going to have to get used to more people not “working” as AI takes over more roles and carries them out more efficiently.

Its a fairly well accepted view that an important element of human happiness is to feel ones life has meaning and purpose. If we have intelligence above a certain level, we also tend to thrive on stimulation and challenge.
There is also the matter of the contrast between our obligations and our leisure, giving us an extra appreciation for the latter.
For most people some form of work or service to others provides this, which is why some of the wealthiest people in the world continue to occupy themselves with business interests or charitable work.
While limitless self serving leisure it may seem attractive to people who've worked for decades in jobs without meaning (to them), as a lifestyle choice in your 20s its unlikely to lead to a healthy well rounded individual.
I also feel strongly that as a society and community we should all make a wider contribution rather than existing merely for our own gratification, and would struggle to respect some one who avoided the opportunity to do so.