Page 22 | To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

queenofsheep · 2023-08-01T15:48:51+00:00

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this? He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

whatabeautifulwedding · 04/08/2023 11:18

Spinewars23 · 03/08/2023 23:01

I know a male, brought up three children in last 12 years, never done a day’s work, all you hear is them whinging about cold or flu.

Fibroid single woman seeing gynae if as it hasn’t quite ruined life 🤬never had to go for a sleep at 1pm before now, never had to worry urine output doesn’t meet input, this country is disgustingly unjust. (Whether that’s another thread Mumsnet promotes in hiding) but manhood supports.

Eh?

Tryingtokeepgoing · 04/08/2023 11:50

queenofsheep · 03/08/2023 14:37

It's surely a matter of principle as well as a genuine concern? Where I grew up, people worked unless they couldn't.

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I'm not sure what you mean by matter of principle, unless its a baseless feeling that people should work. Surely people work either because they want to, or because they have to? Many people, at least when younger, are in the 'have to' category, but equally most people aspire to be, and work hard to ensure, that they are not in the 'have to' category. This guy doesn't have to work. He has time to enjoy his life, is able to do so without working and is involved in managing the income generating assets that provide income. I am not clear what the concern is?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/08/2023 11:52

Kazzyhoward · 04/08/2023 11:01

He'll almost certainly have organised his affairs to pay less tax, because he has the flexibility to do so. That's flexibility that most people don't enjoy. He won't have been passive, there'll have been regular meetings between him (his parents etc) and various tax specialists, solicitors, etc. It, 100%, won't be an accident that there's a trust fund in place - the main reason for them being set up is tax avoidance. Pre-tax and post-tax returns will also have been a significant consideration when it came to deciding how to invest his money - he has chosen to invest in assets that give him a relatively low tax burden. He and his family won't have been passive in any of this - they'll have actively sought out tax exemptions, loopholes, reliefs, etc that simply aren't available to normal workers.

Yes, to a large extent, that's the fault of the politicians and vested interests, but I'd be happy to bet that some of his wider family are (or have been) influential in politics to some extent, to influence tax policy to their advantage.

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So now not only do people on here know that he doesn’t have enough houses to make managing them a full time job, but that his family are influential in politics…

Thats actually hilarious

whatabeautifulwedding · 04/08/2023 11:57

@YetMoreNewBeginnings precisely.

The assumptions that people arrive at on MN are outstanding.

5128gap · 04/08/2023 11:57

Id expect someone with that level of privilege to be giving something back, volunteering in some way, not spending his life in pleasure and idleness. I wouldn't want my DD to be in a relationship with a man who only took from life, possibly in this case from other people too, as private rents are frequently extortionate; as it indicates a flawed character, selfish, greedy, and hedonistic, traits that don't make for a great partner.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/08/2023 12:05

whatabeautifulwedding · 04/08/2023 11:57

@YetMoreNewBeginnings precisely.

The assumptions that people arrive at on MN are outstanding.

It’s brilliant.

That his family are influential in politics is my favourite one yet.

You’d have thought the OP repeatedly avoiding questions about how many properties he manages would lead to assumptions that maybe it does take a lot of time, but not at all…

Can’t wait to see what else he’s accused of by the end of the thread!

Ellyess · 04/08/2023 12:33

JaukiVexnoydi ·

Well said! Very well explained. Many thanks.

Ellyess · 04/08/2023 12:46

Blossomtoes ·

You complain that
"I’ve read some pretentious, pseudo intellectual twaddle "
and say JaukiVexnoydi is the worst.

Maybe you are simply not intelligent or sensible enough to think about what someone else says and to learn from a person who has knowledge from an advanced education and background.

You could gain a lot if you stopped posing and trying trying to sound clever, and instead took in what people with greater knowledge than you bother to pass on.

Because you are just showing yourself up for what you really are - ignorant and rude.

WorldCuppa · 04/08/2023 12:54

This is the best thread ever.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 04/08/2023 12:57

Ellyess · 04/08/2023 12:46

Blossomtoes ·

You complain that
"I’ve read some pretentious, pseudo intellectual twaddle "
and say JaukiVexnoydi is the worst.

Maybe you are simply not intelligent or sensible enough to think about what someone else says and to learn from a person who has knowledge from an advanced education and background.

You could gain a lot if you stopped posing and trying trying to sound clever, and instead took in what people with greater knowledge than you bother to pass on.

Because you are just showing yourself up for what you really are - ignorant and rude.

And now we know the education and background of another poster.

Amazing.

This thread really is something else

Happyfluffball · 04/08/2023 12:58

5128gap · 04/08/2023 11:57

Id expect someone with that level of privilege to be giving something back, volunteering in some way, not spending his life in pleasure and idleness. I wouldn't want my DD to be in a relationship with a man who only took from life, possibly in this case from other people too, as private rents are frequently extortionate; as it indicates a flawed character, selfish, greedy, and hedonistic, traits that don't make for a great partner.

I have a number of family members who have never worked a day in their life. They don't pay taxes because they don't have income. They spend a lot of their time on hobbies, sports, learning new languages, travelling to new places, doing a post graduate degree now and then in an area they love. They take great care of themselves. They also do not take from the state because they are going to inherit enough to live well for the rest of their lives.

Why would they go and work in the city like me for a salary that won't make any difference to their lives. I am a top 2% earner in the UK and what I make is pocket change to my cousin. I have to deal with long hours, stress, not seeing my kids much all in the name of profit for a company and management who do not care about me. I am just another body to them. I picked my university degree based on what I thought was more employable not what I enjoyed.

They're not hurting anyone and they are more happy and fulfilled than me and all my colleagues. There's a lot of reverse snobbery going on from people who think that they are worthless just because they chose to live differently.

5128gap · 04/08/2023 13:18

@Happyfluffball I didn't suggest this man went to work long hours in a stressful job. I said that I believe someone who has a life of privilege that frees them from the need to do so, if they are of good character, would want to offer something back.
I wouldn't describe him or your relatives as 'worthless' as all human life is worth something. However, to inhabit this planet for a lifetime with no thought other than to than your own pleasure, having the benefit of great privileges and using none of it for good, isn't something I personally admire.
Simply being able to say 'I'm not hurting anyone' (debatable anyway, as vast unearned wealth has invariably been accumulated at someone's cost) is a pretty low bar for a human life.

Fuckingfuming1 · 04/08/2023 15:45

There is absolutely no way the anybody has unearned income without it being at the expense of somebody else further along the line at some point it’s literally impossible.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 04/08/2023 17:23

queenofsheep · 03/08/2023 19:04

I'm not angry i'm furious at the people on this thread

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I think you just have to accept the young man, and your world is completely miles apart.

In the last few years, there's been an increase in "young people" making a living via social media. For example, OnlyFans, YouTube, TikTok etc, and make thousands a week. Is that not a form of work considering they probably only spend a few hours a week on content?

LoveLifeBeHappy · 04/08/2023 17:27

WorldCuppa · 04/08/2023 12:54

This is the best thread ever.

😂- I come back every time there's a new post. I love this thread haha.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 04/08/2023 18:06

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 18:05

Well, if you've ever had a real job and had to get bossed around by your superiors and colleagues, I think he's taken the easy way out in comparison...

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If you had a choice, would you choose the bossed around shitty job route or the easy lifestyle route?

Why would anyone sign themselves up for a shitty job?

Maybe you should have worked harder yourself to climb the ladder if you are so resentful of people doing better than you

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 18:25

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 04/08/2023 18:06

If you had a choice, would you choose the bossed around shitty job route or the easy lifestyle route?

Why would anyone sign themselves up for a shitty job?

Maybe you should have worked harder yourself to climb the ladder if you are so resentful of people doing better than you

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The majority of people don't get much choice of where to work and just have to take what they can, for survival purposes.
Obviously if they had the luxury of choice or the rare opportunity to work for a better position they would. It's just not very common to have much choice in these things.

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 18:26

Fuckingfuming1 · 04/08/2023 15:45

There is absolutely no way the anybody has unearned income without it being at the expense of somebody else further along the line at some point it’s literally impossible.

Yes. Most earned income, also, as most jobs aren't actually doing necessary or good things.

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 18:26

5128gap · 04/08/2023 13:18

@Happyfluffball I didn't suggest this man went to work long hours in a stressful job. I said that I believe someone who has a life of privilege that frees them from the need to do so, if they are of good character, would want to offer something back.
I wouldn't describe him or your relatives as 'worthless' as all human life is worth something. However, to inhabit this planet for a lifetime with no thought other than to than your own pleasure, having the benefit of great privileges and using none of it for good, isn't something I personally admire.
Simply being able to say 'I'm not hurting anyone' (debatable anyway, as vast unearned wealth has invariably been accumulated at someone's cost) is a pretty low bar for a human life.

Exactly

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 18:29

LifeExperience · 03/08/2023 20:15

He manages a property portfolio. That's a job. And, yes, you do sound very resentful, OP. So he won the lucky sperm lottery, so what? Class envy is ugly.

It might seem ugly to you, but isn't it actually a very good and sane, decent thing to be incredibly angry that some people are given fortunes while others starve? Decent people want to put a stop to that and make things better, surely?!

SmileyClare · 04/08/2023 18:37

Op hasn’t given enough detail on her dds circumstances but I’d feel a bit concerned if my daughter hooked up with a guy from a very wealthy family who was (for example) always loafing about and didn’t appear to do anything but party and jet off on holidays.

I worked in a city bar as a student. My impression of young guys in their early twenties from hugely wealthy families- whose lifestyle is supported by generous allowances wasn’t particularly positive

They were all obnoxious, spoilt and immature with no respect at all for the barmaids and didn’t seem to take any responsibility for their behaviour.
Most of them were braying coke heads with superiority complexes-?bragging about their flashy cars.They rarely dated anyone outside their “set” either.

Im prejudiced massively based on my experience obviously 😂

Blossomtoes · 04/08/2023 18:50

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 18:29

It might seem ugly to you, but isn't it actually a very good and sane, decent thing to be incredibly angry that some people are given fortunes while others starve? Decent people want to put a stop to that and make things better, surely?!

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Idealists have been saying that for centuries. We’re still no closer to it. Of course most idealists become pragmatists with age.

SmileyClare · 04/08/2023 18:57

Blossomtoes · 04/08/2023 18:50

Idealists have been saying that for centuries. We’re still no closer to it. Of course most idealists become pragmatists with age.

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You say idealist, I say left wing 😂

Yes it’s reality that some people have the life of Riley reaping the benefits of their family’s wealth. I don’t aspire to be like them though.

SmileyClare · 04/08/2023 19:05

Mist people assume it’s the dream to have enough money to never work again.

It’s interesting that psychological studies of Lottery winners indicate a trend towards declining mental health and life satisfaction.

After the initial euphoria many struggle with their sense of purpose, their lack of life structure and routine and have a higher likelihood of emotional issues and marital breakdown.

Original poster

queenofsheep · 04/08/2023 19:09

SmileyClare · 04/08/2023 19:05

Mist people assume it’s the dream to have enough money to never work again.

It’s interesting that psychological studies of Lottery winners indicate a trend towards declining mental health and life satisfaction.

After the initial euphoria many struggle with their sense of purpose, their lack of life structure and routine and have a higher likelihood of emotional issues and marital breakdown.

This

OP posts: