To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

How many rental properties does he manage out of interest?

He's a professional landlord

He will be paying tax
It is automatically taxed
He will get a chargeable event certificate to put in his tax return
Then he will be paying tax on the income from the rental property

Working doesn't confer virtue, OP. If I won the lottery I wouldn't work either. You have avreally skewed view of people and work. Maybe you should just accept it's rooted in envy?

What is your definition of "work"? As you have very clear opinions on the subject...

Jealous?

Why are you so bitter? He sounds very fortunate and I would absolutely do the same in his position so I actually had time to enjoy life while I was young enough to!

At least he can be a sahd if they have children and op's daughter can pursue her career, like most men do

I can't believe this is still going on. It's absolutely none of your business, it doesn't affect you except to fuel your clear bitterness and jealousy. He has a private income, he pays tax. The fact he's not in an office or in a shop is neither here nor there. Have you told your daughter how angry you are about this young man?

I suppose this guy’s circumstances just feel very alien to you op, having come from very working class roots?

I agree, among working classes it’s frowned upon to be work shy or to receive “hand outs”. Living beyond your means and receiving financial support to do so (when you are fit for work) is no badge of honour is it? I guess you view his trust fund as a “hand out”?

Has this thread changed your mind set at all?
How do you feel about your daughter benefiting from his wealth? (the frequent holidays and fancy parties presumably paid for by him?)

Do you think she will get accustomed to a lifestyle she couldn’t afford if they split up?

I have no problem with what people earn but I think a lack of ambition is unattractive.

I don't understand that attitude. Why is it not OK to want to work to live rather than living to work? Why is it necessary to pursue more, more, more even if you are at a stage where you are earning enough and building sufficient pension?

There's so much wrong with this that it's impossible to know where to start.

I quite like the cut of @gidabo‘s jib.

My husband manages new build estates - there’s a drive for the production of affordable housing.
Yet thousands of those affordable homes are snapped up by billionaires overseas buying to let. It’s not unusual for 10 houses to be bought by one buyer.

I can understand the feeling of discomfort. Being a landlord is not a job. It is not working and benefiting from those who are by collecting rent. Especially when it refers to traditional rather than BTL landlords who own multiple properties outright (or their family do).

I used to rent from a Lord with multiple properties on his estate. Of course he had agents along with other staff. The rent was put up by £400 a month before I left because market rents had increased. He had no mortgage, it was still in a poorly maintained state, it was all about profit.

Extracting rent for poorly maintained property and living off trust funds (how was that money made) feels feudal.

Of course he got a degree - did he attend private/public school? This is the norm.

How does your daughter feel about the relationship? Where did she meet him? His family control his income. He is not lucky or free to make his own choices.

I'm not angry i'm furious at the people on this thread

Why?

It’s a shame you couldn’t engage more op, in what I found a fairly interesting thread.

I find your replies oddly stilted and bot like!

So @queenofsheep you had never come across a business person before who didn’t work in retail or have a trade?

That is rather unusual. Do you still not understand that people can own a business they can run from home, possibly a few hours a week, and make a decent living?

It sounds like you are consumed with jealousy of your own daughter.

Meh. I know a Man in his 30s who works part-time for a little above minimum wage. Very sadly he lost both parents before he was 30, but the circumstance afforded him a lovely home bought outright, some cash in the bank and some investments.

He does a special interest job that he loves and is exceptionally good at, and pursues other hobbies and interests the rest of the time. Meanwhile someone else in greater need can take whatever full time job he'd be needlessly occupying if he subscribed to the OP's idea of a real job needing to involve a shop or a desk.

I think he is really lucky to be in the position he is in. He's got a degree also, so he hasn't just took his family help and money for granted. You should be pleased for your DD that they will have a nice life if they stay together. Anyone who has ever had a stressful job but still had money worries would be envious of his situation, but maybe not as annoyed as you seem to be.

Odd don't you think that I'm being blasted for suggesting that young men should work? It's a completely normal path to take. I'm sure other privileged young men would make better use of their advantages, or am I mistaken?

I'm not trying to shit talk him, yet I'm being called jealous and bitter by people who would rather side with wealth. Says a lot about people