To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

😂

Get off your high horse OP and support your daughter by accepting her choice of partner. Most parents would be pleased their child has found someone who is financially stable.

@gidabo
Whstever you’re smoking I’ll have some please 😂😂😂

@gidabo is quite right, whether you all find it hilarious or not. I pay more rent than I'd pay on a mortgage on the same property. But the current system says I "can't afford" a mortgage so nobody will give me one, and the rent i pay ensures I'll never have enough money to qualify.
You lot keep laughing, though.

LOL, @WorldCuppa I totally agree! 😂

"What does 'fair' mean?" A good question. If you're genuinely interested in it, perhaps a good start at getting to grips with it would be to read some of what the philosopher John Rawls had to say about it, in his book A Theory of Justice or here, Justice as Fairness.

As for 'life isn't fair': really a straw man. Nothing I said implies I think life is fair. Nor is it, of course.

One of the reasons we adopt the structures we do in our society is to deal with the unfairness of life. (This is obvious, no?) Some unfairnesses remain; if they're avoidable, it's immoral to keep them. That's all. No question but that life isn't fair. Do you see this?

Well, some business people get more than they would be entitled to if rewards were fairly allocated. No? Perhaps there could be some discussion ... perhaps there ought to be discussion.

The case to hand, though, is cut-and-dried. The person in question does not deserve the income he gets because his contribution to the society that maintains him is nil. That is unfair. So it's wrong.

I know a guy in his 50s who has never worked a day in his life, due to similar situations. Hes had family money and passive income.

Honestly, I wouldnt work either! I dream of the day I win the euromillions and never have to work EVER again!

and your wording is very weird... "allowed"?? Hes an adult. No one has to "allow" him to do anything. Hes not 5.

OK people can just be selfish. In the past it was acceptable (and legal) to own slaves. But now we don't allow slavery. 'We' - that is, our society.

Likewise, we allow people like the OP's example, and yours, to leech on the rest of society. But if we can stop allowing this (and we can, democratically and reasonably), we should. - Why? Because it's unfair.

Isn't it. I never realised how odd some people's thinking is until I found MN.

What are you on?
Comparing owning slaves to being independently wealthy?! Get a grip.

No one is leeching. They have income. That income might just be interest from investments. Who exactly is that exploiting?
And having property, and renting it out, is putting house on the market. Or would you prefer the houses to be empty and people not have anywhere to live?

Im as far left as you can be, but what you are suggesting is actually communism, which basically levels everyone in poverty. So is that what you want? Because levelling everyone in wealth is not an option.

People who have more money than you, whether they work for it or not, owe you nothing. It is not unfair that they have more... It is just what it is.

I have chosen a profession where I will never be wealthy, regardless of how much I might work, because thats just not how it works. But I dont begrudge those who have been lucky and dont have to work for a living.

@gidabo
you stated that ‘life isn’t fair’ is a straw man argument. Fair enough. Doesn’t stop it being true though.
Your mental gymnastics were entertaining nonetheless.

What's your solution then? Everyone with over a certain level of savings gets them confiscated

I am way less bothered about someone with a private income not taking up a job someone else might need than things like the energy companies making massive profits in a cost of living crisis. That's far more immoral yet somehow not under your system because at least the people making those decisions have a job.

But then what is your perspectives of what you consider fair.
If everyone had the same amount of $ for fairness then after a while some would invest, some spend, some save then after a while no one is equal so then how can fair be defined?

"AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?"

Do you find this shocking for men/boys only or for women/girls too?

First, a trust fund is not an "aIIowance," it is an inheritance of sorts. Second, managing rentaI properties is work, unIess he's a sIumIord, and there's no indication of that in your post. Third, in his mid-twenties, he's an aduIt, and there's no question of being "aIIowed" to manage his own Iife. It sounds as if he has his very niceIy arranged.

Because my own parents stopped paying for my nights out once I got my first job at 16. I had to pay for my own leisure

My parents never gave me money to go out.
I got my first Saturday job at 14. Until then I didn't have any 'nights out'
First full time job at 15. (I'm old) Then I paid my mother one third of my income and kept the rest. Them was the rules.

If I'd been fortunate enough to have a family who had properties from which I could earn an income, well yes, I would do that! Who wouldn't?
Presumably he has a huge inheritance lined up too.

Although such wealth and leisure is beyond my means and expectations, it's just how 'the other half live'. I'm sure his situation has its own challenges.

If he can afford to live like this I don't see the issue. No harm done. I'm possibly a little jealous no 9 - 5 and still the holidays!

^^this unfortunately

If I were his mum, I'd be encouraging him to end this relationship before he got himself saddled with a MIL whose behaviour is written about here! Who should he be getting approval and permission from by the way?

I can think of heaps of examples but the one that sticks out currently is some book authors of course not all but some earn money from not working in a traditional sense

Not everyone 'works' people are not the same as everyone else

And allows? What is he 10?

Lucky him!

Here are a couple of ways of thinking about fairness in society:

First (due to John Rawls). Two principles:

• 1. In society, each person has the same indefeasible claim to a fully adequate scheme of equal basic liberties, which scheme is compatible with the same scheme of liberties for all.
• 2. Societal (including economic) inequalities should only be accepted if they satisfy two conditions: (i) they are to be attached to offices and positions open to all under conditions of equality of opportunity, and (ii) they are to be to the greatest benefit of the least-advantaged members of the society.

... Second (I'm sure you know this one!):

• "From each according to ability; to each according to needs."

These are not quite the same (obviously?). And there are others.

What do you think is fair in a society with (as must be the case) people with different talents and birth circumstances?

Our own society may be unfair as it stands, after all (I think it is). So, democratically and rationally, what might we change to make it more fair? And how?

Think about it.

[Thanks for the discussion. I have other things to do now; real life calls.]

Unfair for who? He didn't mastermind being born in a rich family, he cannot be held responsive for the economic status of majority of the world. It's not like if he slogs in a job despite having enough money in a bank, some cosmic balance somewhere will right itself and the rest of us who struggle will magically be given extra money 😆

If I had a good rental income, I will not work. I'd read, garden, write a book, volunteer, travel, I will do everything that makes me happy and fills my life. OP, in this case, I'd look more into how he is a human - is he well mannered and generous, does he treat my daughter right. I don't anyone in this world will opt to work in a job if they are comfortably wealthy. Money gives you the power to choose your life. Can't blame the boy utilising that.