To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

You sound like my mum. She hasn't worked since her mid forties but is always critical of those who are out and about in the high street during the week as 'Why are they not at work?' and judging other people's work hours.
Most people only work because they have to. If I could give it up tomorrow I would. If people are fortunate enough to not have to then why would they? There is more to life than bloody work.

You don't think it unfair? Or you don't think avoidable unfairness immoral?

Or perhaps you prefer not to think about fairness and/or morality?

Or, another possibility: perhaps you also, @Blossomtoes , enjoy leeching on others' work ... or would like to?

What’s unfair about it? Some people have enough money not to need to work. That’s life, it’s always been that way and always will. Immoral? Really? It would be immoral if there was tax evasion but there’s no suggestion of that.

I worked and paid tax - at 40% for half my career - for 45 years. 🤷‍♀️

There's no suggestion of anything illegal, but there's plenty of immorality in what he's doing.

No. It would be illegal if there was tax evasion. Morality is different.

If you don't understand the difference, consider that slavery was once legal, although it was always immoral.

Living on other people's work is immoral, although perfectly legal. Why? Because it's unfair for someone to live on other people in that way, and such unfairness, when otherwise avoidable, is immoral.

What utter hogwash.

Managing houses is work.
You just sound jealous.

If someone was living off of lottery winnings, would you also say they should "not be allowed" to not work? What about a massive inheritance?

The key for me is what he does with his time.

I know a man in his 40s who has never had a paid job in his life. He’s never needed to due to family wealth and inheriting sadly young. He also has a brother and sister in the same position.

He and his sister have always done volunteering. He’s heavily involved in four or five different projects and is one of the busiest people I know. His sister has a good balance between work and living a good life with holidays.

His brother spends most of his days gaming, drinking and smoking weed.

Two of those I’d have no qualms about a daughter dating. One I would. The attitude is the most important thing, not the paid employment.

@gidabo

How do you feel about single mums on benefits? That's about as "avoidable "
as it gets.

Why do you think so?

Do you think avoidable unfairness not immoral?

Or do you think that living on others' work is not unfair?

Or do you prefer not to think about fairness and/or morality?

If they already have the money to support themselves, why should they work?

At least he doesn't make massive bad choices & then expect hardworking fellow citizens to fund his benefits.

It seems to me fair enough that single mothers get benefits. So surely not immoral. It seems unfair they get so little, but, well, again, there you go; our society is imperfect in so many ways.

@gidabo
What does ‘fair’ mean? We should all work for the same company and get the same wages.
Life isn’t ‘fair’. The sooner you accept that the happier you’ll be.

Have you ever heard the saying “you work to live, not live to work”?
If he enjoys what he does, makes an honest living and treats your DD right then what exactly are you concerned about?
I highly doubt that this young man is going to be (in the future) lying on his death bed and thinking “I wish I got a different job, that I didn’t enjoy and had to answer to someone else just to make OP happy”.
Instead of trying to find fault, why don’t you just be happy for your DD and her BF.

@gidabo
So what about a women who can’t have kids who works to find the ‘lifestyle’ of a single mother. You think that is fair?

The man in question has made the bad choice to live off the work of other people: he does expect hardworking fellow citizens to fund his lifestyle. And he gets away with it because so many people can't distinguish benefits (which as things stand, are fairly allowed, albeit too small) from unearned income (which in the case to hand is clearly unfairly gained).

"AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?"

Yes, you're being unreasonable. You also sound envious that he has a better lifestyle than you. You need to accept people like this exist, and get over it.

There are plenty of "real jobs" out there which do not consist of being bossed around by your superiors and colleagues.

"I think he's taken the easy way out in comparison" - No, you're just upset there are people who are doing better than yourself.

@gidabo
by that token anyone who earns from a business is earning their living off the back of the hard work of others. Especially those who are funded by the public purse.

Why don't you think he works? He's living off his investments, investments that need managing. Seriously he gas a good career, well done him!

Says who?

Who says he's allowed? The government, unfortunately.

😂😂😂😂😂😂