To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

Neither does minimum wage jobs while paying for childcare. Childcare providers don't do it for fun they want paying too.

Millions of us are worse off for having a job. We are however very good with money and living on a small one wage income.

I'm not going to break my back in a job, miss my kids growing up and be WORSE off. Only a Martyr would be stupid enough to do that.

And because I'll be accused of drip feeding later I'm disabled. Employers aren't queuing up around the block in a rush to hire disabled people with 3 young dependents. The few and far between jobs there are pay next to nothing but hey there are always plenty of suggestions of 'volunteer roles'.

That way we get the warm and fuzzies of having a 'purpose' afford from being a 'cog' in the workforce and 'giving back to society' without actually costing the employer any money.

Well, he is clearly very fortunate but I could not be attracted to someone like this. Met a guy once who said he was in 'property management ', turned out his family had left him a lot of property in the village and he raked in a lot of rental income. Something unpleasant about it in my opinion

This is a bit of an extreme view imho. While I agree with all of *’JaukiVexnoydi’s view and posted something similar myself down thread, I *rented in London for over a decade and I encountered a range of landlords from really decent and excellent - to average - to downright sleazy. So private landlord does not automatically mean awful, it can mean a range of things.

Also, I have a family member who rents out two properties in the South East and the sleaziness works both ways. It’s really naieve to assume that tenant = paragon of virtue and landlord = exploitative and mercenary.

This relation has had tenants who have wrecked a beautiful bright flat she put her heart and soul in to renovating. She had one young tenant who invited her druggie friends around to the property who proceeded to cause a small fire in the kitchen. And another who skipped off without paying the last three months rent on a property for which my family member still had to cover the mortgage and charges.

He's living the dream leave him to it.

Why don't you find out more about him?

All this simplistic stereotyping is really harmful and why we will end up with unprincipled people in jobs other people routinely slag off, eg politicians, estate agents, solicitors, landlords...

For some people having a landlord is a very good thing. I can put my hand in my pocket and get the boiler changed, I can moderate my tenant's rent if she's having a crisis. I can and do provide security.

It's like saying leasing a car is a waste of money but loads of people (90%) do it now so that they have access to the capital and don't need to worry so much about depreciation and repairs.

Renting gives people flexibility, people are quick to moan if their PFB can't find a place to rent at Uni or move for work. No-one adds in the cost of buying and selling when looking at renting costing more than buying.

Safer to rent if you're in an unstable job as you can get housing benefit element of UC, not just lose the house when you can't pay the mortgage, where there is little aid. I personally think that's why council houses were sold off, to reduce social security costs.

The real issue in this country is that councils don't want to build houses as it's paving over the countryside and the taxpayers will have to pay for it. My local council have only just paid off the borrowing for the 1960s new town it built and that has been a slum for years. Homeowners are happy when house prices go up as it proves they made the right decision but really it's all down to a nationalised planning system leading to scarcity.

Look at towns where small builders originally built the houses, all different and interesting. Now all the building is done by big building companies who landbank, artifically keeping supply low and new housing low quality. Or people having holiday homes and taking property out of the housing stock.

Loads wrong with the system and a complete lack of political will to fix it, compounded by people being polarised and not really understanding how complicated this is.

He may be a complete shithead landlord and there's many of those but he might be principled and have a family that support others, you don't know, you just think he should have a "job".

judgey much

Same. And even though I terrified everyone by going into human rights in a dangerous country, I was only really able to do it under the cloak of their family. It was a close run thing though. Now I work with disabled children and I have time to sit with mums whose kids are in hospital.

There’s no obligation for me to disclose that to people judging me though. I could be a famous handbag person, it doesn’t change my intrinsic value. There were a few years I couldn’t leave the house.

I'd rather my daughters find someone like that than have to struggle through the Financial shit me and their dad have!

Its probably not odd in his circle, sounds great to me

Managing properties is work, perhaps he renovates them as well. Maybe he has been helped along by family money, maybe he is just very savvy and good at investing. I have a friend that retired at 35, although he had also taken a few career breaks prior to this. He got a very substantial inheritance in his 20’s, invested some in property and he lives off the rent from those. Am I a little envious? Yes absolutely but I completely understand it, he hated his high earning job, didn’t need the money so quit. He does a bit of voluntary work, looks after his houses and travels the world - what a life he has. He has no dependents, his wife is independently wealthy (semi retired at 40), why on earth would they work when they have absolutely no need too.

You've had a shock.

Yes, it's true, rich people don't work for a living. Often they have a feudal type set up that allows them to live off rents or trust funds or allowances.

Please get ready to brace yourself when you discover 'the monarchy'.

“Allowed” by who. Irrelevant his age and sex. If he has enough income to live on, why should he work? And he’s right, managing property is his work even if it’s not 9-5. I’d definitely not work if I had enough income elsewhere

Is it only a real job if you're not happy?
Boys in their 20s?
He's not a boy he's a fully grown adult.
He's not being "allowed" anything because he isn't a child.

”Allowed” by who

His parents who give him an allowance?

Op did explain quite early on that once she’d moved out at 17, her parents stopped giving her pocket money and she was expected to fund her own lifestyle.

She was (rather naively) shocked that a grown man was still receiving an allowance from his parents.

It says the money comes from a family trust fund
It's not pocket money off his parents.
It's income from an investment.

I would be a bit upset too. It's not (only) about the money, but also about work ethics and your social-economical stature in the community. If you have ever only worked for yourself and/or for the family fortune I think your empathic education might be lacking.

So you are jealous. Who cares of he has taken the easy route? Who are you to say it is an easy route?

Yeah, managing properties IS actually working. Give your head a wobble.

Good for him, nice life.

Yes totally agree.
If he did get a job on top of his property income he would only be handing half of his pay cheque over to the tax man and who would want to do that?

I’m surprised not more people think he should get a decent job or try and build up his business. He sounds lazy to me.
But I admit to having a sore point about this issue. From when I first married, someone to whom I am related had sons who were allowed to bully my younger daughters, break their things, physically push them around and yet were always the apple of their mother and Granny’s eye. While my children washed up or helped with chores, they drank beer and smoked and called my daughters by crude names. Of course we tried to avoid them but we were frequently tricked into being in the same place with them.
Ultimately they became drunken slobs known to the Police while my children studied and worked hard. My DH died and my children worked hard. But these slobs were still regarded as too ‘special’ to do proper work. They managed to con disability payments and one worked with a man doing gardening cash in hand while saying he had a foot injury.
My life and my daughters’ have been badly upset by these horrible ‘boys’, now in their 40s and quite dangerous. Especially I am upset by how my father’s last days and funeral were ruined by them. I loved him so much. These men were made into little Gods from birth and never taught to consider others or take responsibility. They have ruined the lives of countless girls, neighbours, the victims of their crimes, but always blame others while their mother says nothing they do - including crime - is their fault.

Young people should go out to work and not have time on their hands just to lounge around enjoying a free ride through life. People need to learn that everyone is responsible for themselves and nobody should develop an attitude that they do not have to bother, or that they are better than people who go out to work.

Yeah like I said, an allowance from his parents. 😂

Setting up a trust fund is a way for his family wealth to be passed down without paying hefty inheritance tax, ditto property. It’s still giving your adult son money to live the life of Riley on.

Not sure why so many posters are so defensive and claiming this bloke is “savvy” “intelligent” or “hardworking”.

I don’t see any evidence of those things, he could be, although he could be a party boy with no grasp of the value of money.

People do "property manager" jobs for companies. In this case he's lucky enough to own the houses, but if it's more than a few then looking after them is a job. I suppose it depends on how many houses.

Nothing to do with you. Does he take drugs, drink, beat her? You say they're happy. That's all you should be concerned about.