To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

[queenofsheep]

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

literally anything....what a weird question.
Loads of jobs don't need any degree, even the majority of graduate jobs don't need a specific degree. Healthy men in their 20s pretty much have the world at their feet. The fact he isn't successful in 1 very specific and competitive industry doesn't equate to the world discriminating against white males.
Driving license isn't necessary in any city or large town with public transport, or he could go for a WFH job.

Sometimes it takes time to work out what your vocation and contribution to society will be. Someone in his position who doesn’t have to struggle in his 20s will be in a great position in his 30s and 40s to focus on that after doing all the fun things in his 20s.

So OP don’t worry about where his income comes from, consider more about his character and his plans for the future.

"A real job" sounds like the poster believes only hard manual labour qualifies as work. Sorry, for eg George Michael songwriting was work; he was a genius at it, and his heirs will benefit as long as his songs are played. Do not think creative pursuits and endeavours are not work. More interesting than stacking shelves, perhaps, but definitely work. Work is anything you get paid for.

@queenofsheep
Would you differentiate between jobs eg if it was banking/finance sector vs manual labour ?

Life isn't fair, and some people get money much easier than others.. but I tell you now, if I had a rental income and a trust fund, I wouldn't be working either.

He could well be paying letting agents to do all the work. Sounds like he’s pretty busy attending parties and going on holidays poor man must be exhausted.

And let’s not pretend his life style isn’t subsidised by his allowance from mum and dad.

The gulf between your dd’s working class roots and his very privileged upbringing could result in problems- an unequal relationship dynamic for example.

However, this thread is clearly just goady nonsense. I don’t think any grown adult would be this unaware of how the other half live.😂

There are plenty of people who do not work for a living. Inherited wealth is quite a big thing you know

@queenofsheep Do you know for certain that he is reducing the value of the family portfolio? If so that is a negative.
Sounds to me as if he could use the earnings partly to pay his (and any family) a salary and partly to increase the number of properties and increase the value of the business.
There was a teacher and her husband that built up a holding of 1,000 properties.
Best of luck to all.

What's wrong with 'taking the easy way' when he's breaking no laws and not relying on society to fund his lifestyle? Who would choose to be 'bossed around' if there was a better alternative? This does seem like a jealousy issue.

If he's a good person and treats your daughter well, that's all that matters. I'd want to feel that he could support himself if his situation were to alter, but it sounds like he's doing well.

Life isn't unfair ManchesterLu, but ability isn't evenly spread either. Neither DH nor I have inherited anything until this year, and we are both 67. We thought through what we were doing and planned. We read the boring financial section in the paper, from cover to cover, and talked about options available to us.

It’s not bad if you can get it I suppose. Although I do agree that I find something quite odd about a young person with such a lack of drive to make their own way in the world.

I do too, but if you are not driven to be more successful than your family, and you are sensible about your goals, then it is quite possible to maintain a very nice life based on inherited wealth.

Then they whinge when they have to pay IHT or CGT on residential property.

But please, define a "real" job...

I worked, self employed, about 100 hours per week for eight months a year, and never lifted anything heavier than a ream of paper. But I went to bed every night intellectually stretched, sometimes to near exhaustion. I was well paid but it's daft to equate my work to stacking beans in an aisle at Tesco, because we would not have been interchangeable. I could have stacked the shelves, but the shelf-stacker could not have written the statement that I wrote for Rupert Murdock, for publication.

work in PR, media or fashion there is plenty of trust fund employees. Jobs through friends many work part time and their lifestyle is funded by family money

i would always support ds and help out financially but not fund an expensive lifestyle because he cba to work hard. A good work ethic is I feel is important

I’m amused by the several posters who say they wouldn’t be attracted to someone who didn’t work for a living. Cos, you know - the young man in question isn’t available, he’s OP’s daughter’s boyfriend.

Also that he’s not paying into a pension. Most pensions these days are not the defined benefit type, they are money purchase - where you accumulate a load of assets within a tax wrapper, and use it one way or another to live off for the rest of your life once you stop earning. And it sounds he’s already got enough to live off…. and is supplementing it by maintaining, and perhaps growing, a portfolio of property.

YABU
You have absolutely no idea what his work entails with the rental properties.

I worked in a bar with a friend who started dating an extremely wealthy party boy.

They split up after a year and he left her with a taste for a high life and a massive coke habit she couldn’t afford .

Reverse snobbery.

Christ i would

There’s a lot of these type of people around me. They often set up a ‘business’ to keep themselves busy. Shops that sell about 10 overpriced articles of clothing with ridiculous names like Annabel and Sebastien or Polo and Croquet etc. I even know one who has set up a business making mince cakes for dog birthdays. They often have silly hours like 10-3, 3 days a week..most of them are just something for the rich owner to dabble in, but is not a main source of income. Most of them have trust funds, rich partners etc. Wish I could do the same tbh!!

That's all fun, well and good until OP's DD isn't financially supported by her partner further down the line and doesn't develop her own career/income/assets to match a luxurious lifestyle she's used to after decades.

I think it is brilliant to have a wealthy partner but I want my kids to be financially independent of anybody else.

I would have massive reservations about this bloke. It's not an honest way to live is it. Someone with family money is usually completely naive to real life issues and politics, and to profit from exploiting renters is grim. Landlords are akin to traffic wardens these days. Worse even.

I do hate the notion that everyone should work even if they can afford not to though. But it's rare someone can live a life like this without exploiting others.

It's not an honest way to live is it.

Isn’t it? Why not? I can think of some dishonest ways of making a living but this isn’t one of them.