Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

[LovingLalo]

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

I

Ridiculous! I can't take HRT (it makes me have rigors!) and am horribly jealous of anyone who can

My mum can be a bit like this - especially about anti-depressants.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she ever went on HRT (because she's having issues with her bones now) She said no, the menopause hadn't really bothered her -she sailed through it apparently...cue lots of awkward faces from the family

I asked about HRT because we didn't speak for 8 years whilst she was in the throes of the menopause. She may think she 'sailed through it' (she didn't!) but she made everyone around her fucking miserable.

She thinks it's a weakness to 'succumb' to medical interventions....strangely was first in the queue for the covid vaccine though 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

When I get there I'll be straight to the docs for my prescription; I had an epidural too, fuck suffering when there's no need!

I never took HRT but that was because I had medical issues meaning I couldn’t. I had a so-called ‘natural’ menopause but I wouldn’t dream of criticising any woman who took HRT.

This^ Not least because if I could have HRT I would have had it. So to criticise those that do have it would make me a hypocrite IMO.

I'm probably weird about it. I'm on it but would rather not be. I don't mind the patches but prefer not to have the take the progesterone. I just don't like being dependent on anything. Especially when hearing about shortages, which I haven't been affected by being on low dose, but I'd hate to have to deal with not being able to get it. All medications have some risks, so I avoid them if I can.

If she does it again I'd yawn theatrically.

Does she think spectacles are cheating? A plaster cast on a broken bone? Paracetamol? Chemotherapy?

Snap. Have the same and they've been absolutely brilliant.

With a family history of osteoporosis, I'm not messing about.

My Mum is similar. She was telling me the other day how easy it was for her and she didn't remember having any trouble with it. So I reminded her of x and y and z which were actually quite severe. She remembered then. She'd actually forgotten.

HRT has been a massive help for me with the menopause anxiety & mood swings. Also - Oestrogen is needed for healthy bones. HRT helps to prevent osteoporosis by increasing your level of oestrogen.

I was only 39 when I went into the menopause. I had had a dreadful year losing both my parents and MIL. I had also just started a new job with a lot more responsibility and the whole thing was just overwhelming. With the awful symptoms of the menopause and everything else I actually started feeling suicidal.
I went to the doctor and went on HRT and everything instantly became copeable.
I am 77 now and still on HRT and will continue for the rest of my life.

I am so glad OP that HRT is working for you!

i am too scared to go on the stuff and am trying to manage with supplements. (Breast cancer in maternal line following HRT). Reading this thread maybe I need to reconsider (especially as the studies have disproven the cancer link)

seeing my mum suffer coming off HRT at 70 was really tough - and probably holds me back too.

I am probably one of three mums my age I know who is not on HRT.
My hang up- hope your friend sees that everyone of us is entitled to our own journey.

It might be how some deluded women think - but it's unkind and ignorant much as a friend who told me she was 'far too stoical' to have an epidural after I had one

Some are really weird about HRT, and that is their issue, not mine. For me, HRT was an absolutely godsend, life-saving, almost.

My own mother was sceptical of HRT sneering at it as, 'eternal youth'

What kind of suffering has been observed in women coming off HRT, for those who have mentioned that?

For me, it was the progesterone element that was so great, and I needed far more than a Mirena would dispense. I was also dreadfully allergic to the patches' adhesive, norethisterone, and the oestrogen dose was too high in Everol Sequi, something my GP put me on. Being on the incorrect HRT actually made all my symptoms a million times worse.

In the end, I went to see a private specialist. My HRT is made by a private lab, shortages aren't a problem.

If you have an issue with HRT, that's fine, but it's none of my concern, nor will it stop me from using it and recommending it to others.

I have been on both sides, tried to do it with natural treatment and yes it cost a fortune but unfortunately it made little difference to my nightly battles with insomnia, hot flushes- walking around looking like a beetroot.
aches and pains, headaches and wanting to live in a walk in refrigerator.
I was also loosing my hair in big clumps.
After 4 nights of going with a few hours of sleep per night and feeling double my age, I had enough.
After a chat to my GP I started HRT.
within a month my sleep was back to normal, my hot flushes disappeared, no headaches but also felt mentally very happy.
unfortunately my hair loss was getting worse.
After blood tests and a lot of research I asked my GP to prescribe INDIVINA, 3 month in and I have finally managed to reverse the final bit of menopause and my hair loss has stopped and new hairgrowth feels thicker and stronger.
For anyone that is struggling please explore your options.

I'm not menopausal yet but it sounds very similar to the whole natural birth thing. I had one c section and one natural labour, I didn't get a special medal for the second one nor did it make me a better human being - sounds very similar! You do you - and so pleased it's helping you so much, sounds like absolutely the right choice to get on with enjoying your life. Why spend more of life than necessary feeling miserable?!

It sounds like she is jealous of your success and weight loss

why let her opinion annoy you, it's your choice to go on hrt just as it's hers not to.
I wouldn't discuss any hrt things her from now.

Silly bitch

I think maybe SOME women DO think like that.
A friend of a partner of mine once said something along the lines of "no big deal - it happens".
In truth I had the idea that she had never been very sexual pre. And a strict catholic to boot. There's probably a shrine to her and her approach.

Your friend is an idiot.

I only know one person who is on HRT and they are mid 70s and don't intend to ever go off it so I don't quite understand all the comments about having to deal with coming off it, but I admit I don't know much about it as I've not reached the age yet. You don't get any medals for suffering, sounds like she is very defensive of her choices.

Why suffer anything when you don't need to.
Does she...
Power through a raging toothache rather than seek dental treatment?
Power through childbirth rather than seek pain relief?
Power through heavy, painful periods rather than seek medical treatment?
Etc.
If so, then she should be seeking psychiatric treatment.
There's no medals for being medical martyrs, only prolonged needless suffering.

Sounds like menopause is impacting her cognitive function.

Yup, you’re right. No mares’ urine these days.