Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

[LovingLalo]

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

I

Your friend is stupid, OP.

No way am I giving up my HRT. No way.

Wow, congratulations to her for making her own life harder than it needs to be. Inspiring! Her Chufty Badge is in the post.

I'd better bin my glasses now, lest I be accused of cheating my way out of -7.0 short-sightedness. I'm driving home from work this afternoon, too; good luck, everyone else on the roads!

55 and still on HRT here and will continue to stay on it. Without it the insomnia was crippling, I hated my (very decent) husband and I felt low, miserable and exhausted.
Plus we have a huge family history of osteoporosis and I'd rather stave that off!

Why are women so bloody judgemental about other womens' choices? Do whatever gets you through the day!

She’s a bloody fool. Doesn’t she realise that without estrogen she’s more likely to have osteoporosis and it helps to stave off dementia.

Some people bang on about the possibility of it causing cancer, but they still drink and smoke, which statistically is more likely to cause it. I’m all for HRT, it has given me my life back, and saved my marriage.

Can I ask what hotel you are on as sounds like I need it.

Cheating is an odd way to describe it. If she’s usually a good friend who is kind, I’d put her comment down to her struggling and try to ignore it.

Great news that you’re feeling better.

I have no periods due to a mirena but still felt very under the weather for months. A nice dose of Estrogen gel and I am back feeling like myself again. All hail the HRT!

Let her wait til her own symptoms get even worse then see how she feels about cheating. I'm on a medication that many people frown on. Like you it has been life changing for me. I wish I'd done it years ago.

Yep this exactly . I really wanted to kill myself and drinking is a big part of it . HRT can be a life saver . What your friend said was a passive aggressive snipe from the sound of it then she really hasn't had the real nasty symptoms yet .

Ozempic?

At age 38 l started medically with the menopause ( total hysterectomy) HRT to me was a miracle..my hair was glossy..my nails strong and healthy..my skin glowing and my libido through the roof.. wish l could have stayed on it forever. Its a live a wonder drug. Let those self righteous people deal with it..they will and learn when they get to the point where they can't stand the effects of the menopause ( or mental pause as l nicked named it... due to how bad it made me).

Travelodge are pretty good 👍

Fuck that, I am 37 but when the time comes I’m going on HRT the moment I can!

I'd better bin my glasses now, lest I be accused of cheating my way out of -7.0 short-sightedness. I'm driving home from work this afternoon, too; good luck, everyone else on the roads!

This made me smile. Along with the other post about cheating ageing by using moisturising lotion or cheating tooth pain by visiting the dentist etc.

I am not a suitable candidate for HRT because of existing health issues. My Dr. prescribed me some anti-depressants (to help me sleep and lift my mood back to normal I assume) and sent me on my way.

Luckily I've been more or less ok. I'm mid fifties and have not had a period for five years.

I clicked on this thinking that by "cheating" you must just be breezing through it naturally without any symptoms while she battled hot flushes, etc, and she was jealous of how easy it is for you.

Now I see it's likely the other way round and she's on her high horse that her decision to "not cheat" by taking HRT means she's suffering daily while you're thriving and she can't now back down!

Bonkers woman!

These are the same silly buggers who wont go on medication for mental health and act all superior because of it. Sod em. They are the ones that suffer in the end. Fools. You only get one life, why would you purposefully decline help?

This! 🤣

OP, if you want evidence she’s suffering through the menopause, here it is. She’s being totally unreasonable.

That's fucking mental. I had a natural birth without pain relief right up until the point they gave me an emergency section. Sometimes a bit of medical help is better than dying! HRT saved me from suicide though I appreciate the help with my elderly atrophying vagina the most! Can I have her address I'd like to write her a strongly worded letter! 😂

@Trylessonslearned if you meant HRT, I'm on Eorel Sequi 50 patches.
But if you need it, discuss your options with your GP as there are so many different types.

I never took HRT but that was because I had medical issues meaning I couldn’t. I had a so-called ‘natural’ menopause but I wouldn’t dream of criticising any woman who took HRT.

OP your friend is v v v unreasonable or, to put it another way, frankly bonkers.

What a lovely friend. But it says more about her than you. some people are anxious about any medication and invent narratives that aid them in not 'needing' them or whatnot.

Wish I'd taken HRT! it sounds great..Well done, OP, your friend sounds bizarre.

I’ve had similar snippy comments made to me so I just avoid the topic now.

I do think there is a cohort of women who think this way and imo they are being judgemental, self righteous and ignorant. It’s almost like they don’t want other women to have a perceived advantage and we should all be as miserably and ratty as them.

Some are really weird about HRT, and that is their issue, not mine. For me, HRT was an absolutely godsend, life-saving, almost.

I flat out refuse any medications like that (obviously didn't really need them) until the perimenopause anxiety got me. Then I took antidepressants for the anxiety for a year and it really helped sort me out. That was fine until the physical symptoms kicked in and accelerated. Every medication has it's place but I don't regret waiting till 50 to start. I'm hoping to be on it for five years at most but will take it as it comes.