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Original poster

Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

428 replies

LovingLalo · 01/08/2023 09:59

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

I

OP posts:
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longwayoff · 01/08/2023 10:21

Your friend's an idiot. Glad u feel better OP, pay no attention to the HRT naysayers. They just havent felt bad enough. Yet.

Movinghouseatlast · 01/08/2023 10:21

She is absolutely bonkers. Of course its not cheating. I wish I'd gone on HRT at 47 instead of trying to do natural supplements. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache.

But yes, it seems some women do think like that. The worst I saw on here was someone who said women are 'making a fuss' about their menopause symptoms and its natural and they should get on with it.

KPops22 · 01/08/2023 10:21

Maybe she needs it if she is so easily wound up!

Feckinlego · 01/08/2023 10:23

Not only is she batshit, she's ignorant and uneducated. Hrt protects against osteoporosis heart disease dementia and some cancers. It's a no brainer just for that alone.

Mentioned to MIL a few years ago about being on anti depressants. She told me about her friend who hasn't left her house in 10 years because of depression, wondered why I wouldn't 'battle through it myself' like her friend 🤔

Milk2SugarsAndAShotOfYourFinestValium · 01/08/2023 10:24

Littlemissprosecco · 01/08/2023 10:09

🤣🤣🤣 She’s menopausal!!

Was going to say the same 😂

That's the sort of shitty headspace I was in pre-HRT and exactly the kind of push-people-away-I-hate-you-all-but-also-I-don't-I'm-just-so-sad-and-tired. Now I'm happy and sleeping I'm a much nicer person!

Don't stress about it OP. Leave her to it. It's not about you, Menopause hits us all so differently and that was about crap she's feeling. x

EBearhug · 01/08/2023 10:25

I'm not on HRT, because I haven't really had any symptoms other than irregular periods to date, but I've got plenty of friends on it, and I don't think any of them are cheating it. (I will be on to my own GP in a moment, should I start with night sweats or hot flushes or anything.) I'm not cheating hayfever if I take antihistamines, either. I'm just managing life so it's not more difficult.

Theimpossiblegirl · 01/08/2023 10:26

I'm cheating with my mirena. If I need more I'll be front on the queue. No point suffering or being miserable.

My sister won't take hrt "because of the horses" and it's really taking its toll. I think they've stopped using horse urine now and it's yam based but I could be wrong.

LucyWarlowsRightHand · 01/08/2023 10:27

Makegoodchoices · 01/08/2023 10:06

Is taking paracetamol for a headache ‘cheating your way through a headache’?

Bonkers.

I cheated my way through cancer. Chemo all the way. Fuck doing it naturally!😂

mrswhiplington · 01/08/2023 10:27

If I could have gone on HRT at the time I would have done. Had a miserable time, anxiety, palpitations, awful sleep etc. Had breast cancer a few years before so it was ruled out. Good luck to you, don't suffer if you don't have to.

hydrojen · 01/08/2023 10:29

More martyrdom . More glorification of needless female pain and suffering.
From dysmenorrhea in teens to contraception to pregnancy, labour, childbirth and feeding and all of it's aftermath , these women go into meno believing that the 'never complain' method of being a woman makes them better than all the rest. Keep quiet. Be dignified, blah blah.
In the meantime , it is the children and the partners of such women who bear the brunt of their boring boasting bullshit .

MirandaWest · 01/08/2023 10:30

I am also 47 and I use HRT. Without it my anxiety was reaching ridiculous levels, I was having so many night sweats that the bed was nearly afloat and my sleep was dreadful. I also had put on weight which I still have to work on but at least now I get somewhere!

Cheating - what a stupid way to put it. It's up to everyone to deal with things how they want to but to say using HRT is cheating is daft.

Barney60 · 01/08/2023 10:30

I went All natural through the menopause after seeing what my sister went through coming off HRT.
Yes its difficult but im fine now, each to their own.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/08/2023 10:31

Makegoodchoices · 01/08/2023 10:06

Is taking paracetamol for a headache ‘cheating your way through a headache’?

Bonkers.

It is if you asked one of my exes. However, he'd never have a headache in the first place because he wouldn't permit them to happen through the strength of his superior intellect, apparently.

Then he had a pain in his back. Started dictating his final words and giving his wishes for the funeral (scores of wailing women throwing themselves on to his coffin, screaming IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!, mostly) and then left on his final journey to hospital for Palliative Care.

He was out three hours later with advice to drink more liquid and to buy some OTC painkillers whilst waiting for a 2mm kidney stone to pass.

Guess his superior intellect didn't consider his ureter when it was busy preventing headaches.

WhateverMate · 01/08/2023 10:32

I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt

Bit OTT isn't it?

Eye-roll and move on.

Pandorapitstop · 01/08/2023 10:33

People are weird

VickyEadieofThigh · 01/08/2023 10:35

Does she have anaesthetics - or example, at the dentist or for surgical procedures or childbirth?

That's on the same spectrum of "cheating"! What utter nonsense!

moose62 · 01/08/2023 10:38

Some people seem to relish in suffering and anything else is taking the easy way out! I had one final period at about 49, then nothing else. No hot flushes, mood swings (my DH says otherwise) or anything else. I was incredibly lucky and probably quite rare but one of my friends said I hadn't really gone through the menopause. Sorry but medically I have! Someone also said I hadn't given birth because I had to have a C section...baby somehow managed to turn up!
If your friend wants to suffer, let her!

38andtrying · 01/08/2023 10:39

why do some people insist on making life miserable for themselves to be more "natural", its stupid and impresses absolutely nobody. HRT is a godsend to many women, don't feel shit about silly comments like your friend made, its her outlook if she wants to be a moanbag lol

ModestMoon · 01/08/2023 10:41

I actually think that what your friend said was fine. She didn't tell you that YOU were cheating. You were encouraging her to do something that she doesn't want to do, and instead of bullshitting you, she told you straight how she feels about HER situation. It's self obsessed to think that a comment a woman makes about herself is a judgement on you, and on all women who do a certain thing.

I don't take the contraceptive pill because l like to feel the natural rhythm of my body, even the unpleasant parts. I'm not a martyr and I have absolutely no opinion whatsoever on women who take it for any reason at all. If a friend asked me I would word it like I have just done here. If the friend chose to interpret that as a slight on her, I'd think they were very self absorbed. Maybe your friend feels this way about this current choice you're both making.

WandaWonder · 01/08/2023 10:42

I have zero idea why she thinks she is cheating, if I need to go it I will but not till then like any medication it is there to use it if needed

FrenchandSaunders · 01/08/2023 10:43

dickhead. I suppose I cheated by having a c-section .... the fact both myself and both DDs would have died without it is neither here nor there.

Wahwahwahwahwah · 01/08/2023 10:43

Well I'm going to go against the grain here and say who cares? If she doesn't want to "cheat" her way through then that's up to her. Why are you taking it personally? I honestly don't see why it's upset you so much? Each to their own, no?

Wiccan · 01/08/2023 10:43

ModestMoon · 01/08/2023 10:41

I actually think that what your friend said was fine. She didn't tell you that YOU were cheating. You were encouraging her to do something that she doesn't want to do, and instead of bullshitting you, she told you straight how she feels about HER situation. It's self obsessed to think that a comment a woman makes about herself is a judgement on you, and on all women who do a certain thing.

I don't take the contraceptive pill because l like to feel the natural rhythm of my body, even the unpleasant parts. I'm not a martyr and I have absolutely no opinion whatsoever on women who take it for any reason at all. If a friend asked me I would word it like I have just done here. If the friend chose to interpret that as a slight on her, I'd think they were very self absorbed. Maybe your friend feels this way about this current choice you're both making.

Wow you're a treasure aren't you !

Movinghouseatlast · 01/08/2023 10:44

I've heard it all now. Someone who 'likes to feel the. rhythm of my own body' accuses someone else of being self absorbed!

Wahwahwahwahwah · 01/08/2023 10:44

Oh and I would totally take HRT myself by the way. I also had an epidural, and gave up BF earlier than recommended 😂