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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this super stingy or do I expect too much

154 replies

turnthetvoff · 31/07/2023 19:17

Me and my ex-boyfriend, split up awhile back. We are still cool, and occasionally we will see each other on a casual basis. I've always had a problem with his stinginess....

The other day I decided to go up to see him at his. I'm not driving so I took a cab up there and a cab back. I ate lunch before I went there but wanted dinner. He had already eaten/had leftovers.

There was a Chinese takeaway, five minutes down the road from there, but they only accept cash. I didn't have a card on me as I tend to use contactless, so I asked him if he could withdraw the money for me if I sent it to his account. My dish was going to come up to around £7. When I was in the process of transferring him the money, he said to me, he can't withdraw £7 from the cashpoint. I said obviously, I was going to send you a whole £10 to withdraw.

Now, I know I was the one that wanted to eat, but isn't that just another indication of his stinginess?! Considering the fact that I paid for a cab there, would be sleeping over having sex with the guy, and paying for a cab back, the guy couldn't even pay £3 towards my meal.

Anyway, when I got my food and started eating, he then had the cheek to say that I didn't even offer him any!! I purposely didn't, because I just thought he was so cheeky over the £3 comment.

Really, if he was anyone else , I would have expected him to just pay for the meal - it was £7 bloody quid. Is that asking for too much?
I'm never having sex with him again just to add!!

OP posts:
CrazyArmadilloLady · 31/07/2023 19:48

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No she doesn’t.

Your whole situation sounds ridiculous to all of us coming to it cold.

Sunshineclouds11 · 31/07/2023 19:48

It's £3, either way I wouldn't be crying about it.

I also wouldn't be going to sleep with my ex tbh. Mess written all over it.

Ex for a reason and all that

Quitelikeit · 31/07/2023 19:50

Can’t stand tight or stingy people. Such a turn off. Mostly I pity them

Does he spend on himself?

Comedycook · 31/07/2023 19:50

He's got it made hasn't he....you drop round for a shag. Zero committment, zero effort put in.

Know your worth and tell him to go fuck himself.

Pontiouspilate · 31/07/2023 19:51

You’re embarrassing yourself a bit here op. Posting a ridiculous situation, declaring what is ‘manly’ or not and then insulting other women using a misogynistic term. What did you want to gain from this?

ThinWomansBrain · 31/07/2023 19:51

I wouldn’t pay for anyone else’s takeaway either TBH. Even if sex WAS on the table

hope no one spills their sweet & sour sauce
bit sticky.

turnthetvoff · 31/07/2023 19:51

For more context. He's an ex but we don't hate each other which I know goes against the Mumsnet grain. He's a cool person and has been there for me, we just weren't compatible in a relationship and should have kept it as friends. And he's stingy.

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 31/07/2023 19:51

You both sound petty and immature.

turnthetvoff · 31/07/2023 19:52

@Quitelikeit he spends the minimum on himself

OP posts:
LocalHobo · 31/07/2023 19:52

Please don't use misogynistic terms. Most posters are likely to be women.

ThatFraggle · 31/07/2023 19:53

While you waste your time in this situationship you lose opportunities for something real.

  1. we only have limited mental energy. You are pouring yours into this. If a good match for you popped up, you wouldn't even be in the headspace to make the most of it.

2)If I had a friend of a friend, new in the area looking to date, I would not introduce him to someone I heard was still on again off again with an ex. Trust me, you are losing out on opportunities because you are allowing your own time to be wasted.

turnthetvoff · 31/07/2023 19:54

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Saz12 · 31/07/2023 19:54

By "Karen" do you mean a woman over 40 with an opinion you dont like?

Pontiouspilate · 31/07/2023 19:55

I’m not sure it winds anyone up. It just makes us pity you. As does this whole sorry tale tbh

Crunchymum · 31/07/2023 19:55

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You really shouldn't use such a negative, misogynistic, ignorant slur.

turnthetvoff · 31/07/2023 19:55

@ThatFraggle very wise words. I'm actually not trying to date atm. That's why I have a lot of time on my hands and why I even considered seeing my ex that day!

OP posts:
Mayhem3 · 31/07/2023 19:57

Why would he spend any money when he knows he doesn’t need to and he’ll still get sex.

I’ve never been to a guys home without them offering to pay half of the fare.
I don’t accept it because I’ve chosen to go.

He may not have had money to spare which is why he didn’t order anything himself.

If you don’t want to be treated like a mug then don’t act like one.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 31/07/2023 19:57

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As you can see, nobody’s wound up, just a bit embarrassed for you that you need this stuff explained to you.

Mayhem3 · 31/07/2023 19:57

How old are you OP?

You sound very young.

cherry2727 · 31/07/2023 19:58

I've always had a problem with his stinginess....

You said it yourself- you are well aware that he is stingy. I'm not sure what you are/were expecting ?

StrawberryWater · 31/07/2023 19:59

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Yes and you sound like a damn child, this nonsense is ridiculous and you’re an idiot. You’ve only proved my point further with that ‘Karen’ slur.

Onthemaintrunkline · 31/07/2023 19:59

Have more pride in yourself!

Cornishclio · 31/07/2023 19:59

Well you ditched him because he was stingy and obviously he hasn't changed. 🤷‍♀️

readbooksdrinktea · 31/07/2023 20:00

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When you choose to go to name-calling, it's time to stop. Besides, PP is right.

trifftrev · 31/07/2023 20:01

you sound like a Karen

Please don't use this misogynistic term.

It has derailed your thread.