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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you need a proper dinner too?

109 replies

Onanislandinthesun · 30/07/2023 15:46

Had a bbq for lunch at home, nothing huge, just three of us, but salmon, tuna, steak, sardines, large salad & baguettes. Quite a lot of fussing and prep, plus washing up afterwards etc.
We had the lunch fairly late-2.30.
Dh asks what we’re having for dinner 🤷🏻‍♀️
My thoughts were to just have a sandwich/toastie whatever later on and to pick at something, he was expecting a full dinner made later…
Would you have this lunch and made dinner later or just pick at whatever’s in the cupboard?

OP posts:
SmudgeButt · 30/07/2023 17:38

"Whatever you fancy making for us both, dearheart!"

CurlewKate · 30/07/2023 17:40

I don't barbecue-but if we barbecue for lunch, dp always makes sure he does enough for leftovers.

fireflyloo · 30/07/2023 17:53

I'd have made enough for some leftovers for a small dinner later.

ButterCrackers · 30/07/2023 17:54

He can make himself something. No big dinner required after the bbq.

ididntwanttodoit · 30/07/2023 17:59

"Dinner" was the barbecue! for supper, I'd just have oatcakes, cheese and pickles after that lot!

PollyThePixie · 30/07/2023 18:04

Yes. I would want an evening meal because as meals go that was quite light and the fact it was served up at lunchtime is making it appear more than it actually was.

red78hot · 30/07/2023 18:05

Fish finger butty is the usual Sunday evening meal for us after a big dinner

Toottooot · 30/07/2023 18:06

Would probs want a 3 courser after that - regardless how large the salad was 💁🏻‍♀️

Lira715 · 30/07/2023 18:07

I’d not want dinner.. dp would though

KateJohns · 30/07/2023 18:10

1 main meal a day in this house, and a BBq is a main meal, sarnies or a bit of quiche for tea time

BeaumontLivingston · 30/07/2023 18:10

I tried to tell my ex that the single job of three meals a day for a family was in itself a full-time job. I was a SAHM in that scenario expected to do everything for him. They have no idea.

caringcarer · 30/07/2023 18:13

Tell himself you make himself an omelette.

Hibiscrubbed · 30/07/2023 18:16

He’s a greedy pig.

pastypirate · 30/07/2023 18:19

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we've removed their threads and posts.

No more to be said is there

Theredjellybean · 30/07/2023 18:21

The simple answer to "what's for dinner"...when you have already prepped, cooked, cleaned up one full main meal..is...."I don't know "...and no further engagement in the matter

WhatFlavourIsIt · 30/07/2023 18:38

That sounds lovely. I would probably order a Chinese around 7/8pm

JustFrustrated · 30/07/2023 18:48

Your update certainly cancels out the previous comments.

I'd probably want a meal tbh. But then again we eat later than most, or so it feels.

So having lunch at 2pm and then dinner at 730 would be about right.

mrsm43s · 30/07/2023 18:52

Theredjellybean · 30/07/2023 18:21

The simple answer to "what's for dinner"...when you have already prepped, cooked, cleaned up one full main meal..is...."I don't know "...and no further engagement in the matter

But she didn't cook lunch - he did!

In any case, OP says it wasn't asked in a way that was expecting her to make it, it is just that she doesn't want anyone to cook a full meal, which seems oddly controlling to me. Surely if he wants a full meal and is happy to cook it, then it's not really any of OP's business and he should feel free to just crack on and cook dinner for anyone who wants to eat it.

Ponoka7 · 30/07/2023 18:58

Hibiscrubbed · 30/07/2023 18:16

He’s a greedy pig.

Do you only eat once a day?
That lunch doesn't add up to a man's daily requirements, so yes, most would want something else. I like to eat in opposites, so I'd have a bolagnaise, or something else with meat pre done to heat up.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 30/07/2023 19:27

Hibiscrubbed · 30/07/2023 18:16

He’s a greedy pig.

Absolutely.

A meal at lunchtime and that NOT seeing him through to the following day? Actually wanting an evening meal as well? Being hungry hours after having eaten last? What a greedy guts!

Are you one of the “I looked at a salad and now I’ll be stuffed for DAYS” brigade? Hmm

Hibiscrubbed · 30/07/2023 19:29

He’s a geeedy pig to A.) expect another full-sized meal in a day, having had a barbecue lunch, and B.) expecting the OP to cater to his greed and make it.

whatsagoodusername · 30/07/2023 19:37

I'd need a meal because I only eat enough for lunch at lunchtime. DH wouldn't because he would eat a full big meal.

It is not pretty if we're out and have a "big" lunch. By evening I'm starving, as are the DC, and DH cannot comprehend that not everyone has stuffed themselves silly at an absurd time and we want a meal. There are usually tears.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/07/2023 19:44

Surely those who want a second meal cook it, and tidy up, unless it’s small children.

Everyone seeing to themselves sounds fine!

MissHoollie · 30/07/2023 19:46

Somedays I'd be fine to have a snack later sometimes I'd need a full meal.
I'd just say " I'm ok but make yourself something "

mrsm43s · 30/07/2023 20:25

Hibiscrubbed · 30/07/2023 19:29

He’s a geeedy pig to A.) expect another full-sized meal in a day, having had a barbecue lunch, and B.) expecting the OP to cater to his greed and make it.

A) it's normal to eat more than one meal a day, and grilled fish and salad won't come close to meeting his daily calorie requirements, regardless of whether it was cooked on the BBQ or in the oven.
B) he wasn't expecting OP to make the meal. It seems he was happy to make his own evening meal despite having already cooked lunch for the whole family. OP doesn't want to allow him to cook himself a proper meal.