Page 7 | To take my son's sweets back to the shop?

Applescruffle · 2023-07-29T13:14:39+00:00

I was in the park today with my kids, boy aged 10 and girl aged 5, my friend and her kids, boy aged 11 and girl aged 4. The boys started to get a bit bored so I gave them my card and said they could go over to the shop and get a pack of 6 ice lollies for us all. Son started to say he doesn't like ice lollies as they are "melty and annoying" this isn't true, he eats ice lollies all the time but whatever, I relented and said he could get a SMALL sweet instead. I clearly specified one sweet, about the size of the ice lolly. Other kids just wanted ice lolly. Fine. Son then comes back from the shop. Says he does want ice lolly now and proceeded to pull other stuff he got from his bag. One massive bag of crisps, like a sharing size bag, and two big bags of sweets totalling £6 plus the £1.50 box of ice lollies he now says he wants one of. I said no, he's taking the mick and he knows better than to abuse the trust I give him when I give him my card. I told him he could have an ice lolly only now and I took all the other stuff back to the shop. I didn't shout or get angry or anything but I was firm and told him no, he's not keeping it. DH thinks I should have just told him off but let him keep the sweets and crisps. AIBU?

BeyondMyWits · 30/07/2023 17:19

FuppingEll · 30/07/2023 17:12

Same here. I've never heard of someone returning a bag of crisps to the shop unless there was something wrong with them. I'd assume they couldn't take then back incase they were tampered with.

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Exactly this. In the shop where I work nothing edible that has left the shop would be put back on the shelf. Ever.

You have no idea how it has been treated, some people even buy a new item and try to return the "same" item, but past its sell by... you'd be shocked the lengths people go to. We rarely give refunds on edible items... only for statutory rights purposes...if they are poor quality etc, not if someone just changes their mind.

CarmelfromNorthernRoundup · 30/07/2023 17:56

Beneficialchampion2 · 30/07/2023 16:09

You allowed your child to commit fraud (assuming over the age of 10) and then berate them for abusing your trust?

Give your head a wobble.

😂😂😂😂

watch out @Applescruffle he’ll be laundering money in the school toilets by 13 the way you are going

Twyford · 30/07/2023 18:04

Applescruffle · 29/07/2023 17:20

Statatory rights are unaffected.

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There isn't a statutory right to return goods bought over the counter that you have changed your mind about.

Twyford · 30/07/2023 18:06

I hope you will learn from this to stop giving your children your card to use in shops? Not least because one day it will backfire because the shopkeeper will assume that your children have stolen the card given that they are not allowed to have the cards in question in their own right.

Twyford · 30/07/2023 18:07

What on earth is your DH's justification for letting your son keep the stuff? In effect, he stole money from you in order to pay for it. Why would he want to reward him for that?

Sonyrec · 30/07/2023 18:08

To answer your question - no, of course you don't take the sweets back to the shop. You confiscate them and either dole them out at a later date in small doses, or eat them yourself.
Your DH needs a kick up the arse for letting your son benefit from his actions.

Dacadactyl · 30/07/2023 18:14

In these circumstances I would've made him return the extra stuff.

Had a similar scenario with DS11 recently but gave him a max budget of 3.50 to spend on my card. He spent 3.45 which was good going. Hammered it home to him that anything up to 3.50 was OK but 3.51 was a problem and that he'd have to walk back to return all of it

caringcarer · 30/07/2023 18:24

AnSolas · 29/07/2023 14:22

He stole from you and your DH said he should get to keep (eat) the stolen goods?

YANBU

He clearly can't be trusted with your card. I'd ask DS if you could borrow his GoHenry card to buy yourself some ice cream, if he says no ask him why? Start the conversation this way.

Original poster

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 18:26

Twyford · 30/07/2023 18:04

There isn't a statutory right to return goods bought over the counter that you have changed your mind about.

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There's a feature at the bottom of any OP post that let's you read everything the OP has said in the thread. I find or really useful

OP posts:

Original poster

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 18:31

He accepted it. He didn't throw a strop and I didn't bring it up again after it was dealt with and neither did he. It was done with.

OP posts:

Usernameunknownfornow · 30/07/2023 19:19

Dacadactyl · 30/07/2023 18:14

In these circumstances I would've made him return the extra stuff.

Had a similar scenario with DS11 recently but gave him a max budget of 3.50 to spend on my card. He spent 3.45 which was good going. Hammered it home to him that anything up to 3.50 was OK but 3.51 was a problem and that he'd have to walk back to return all of it

Over It being 1p over

Usernameunknownfornow · 30/07/2023 19:21

Sonyrec · 30/07/2023 18:08

To answer your question - no, of course you don't take the sweets back to the shop. You confiscate them and either dole them out at a later date in small doses, or eat them yourself.
Your DH needs a kick up the arse for letting your son benefit from his actions.

That's not teaching him he can't do it again, that's enabling his behavior, OP done the right thing.

Blackbyrd · 30/07/2023 19:31

You embarrassed yourself taking the items back, surely it would have been better to keep them and ration them out. Your son is a young child and behaved like one. You're an adult and should try behaving like one instead of being a miserable drama llama

AnSolas · 30/07/2023 19:45

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 16:55

Commit fraud 😂🤣😂

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Yep
fraud is obtaining goods by deception.
And he almost had a clever plan for distroying the evidence of his crime.

It was Elder Abuse too.😀

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/07/2023 20:13

Usernameunknownfornow · 30/07/2023 15:45

There is no such thing as a trendy part of brixton, it's all gone downhill

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Not according to all the nail bars (posh!) and restaurants there, not downhill at all, if anything the other way! It’s not super posh but certainly has more naice shops including a new ice cream coffee bar called Koala.

They’ve rearranged Morley’s and it’s got Whistles and All Saints in there now. The sweet SA at Chanel couldn’t pronounce faux cils, she wanted to buy it at YSL.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/07/2023 20:15

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/07/2023 11:43

It's one of the sweetest things teenagers do in London - they'll stop you in the street or on the bus and tell you 'Your bag's open, Miss'. I've clearly got the ageing teacher aesthetic down to a T. The alternative is that I remind them of their Nan.

I'd definitely be conscious that a ten year old with their Mum's bank card is an incredibly easy, low risk target.

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I never get this treatment! Either they hate me or I don’t give off an ageing teacher vibe! (Nowt wrong with that!).

Original poster

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 23:11

I wish I'd just said I gave him the money.

I wasnt looking for opinions on giving him my card. If I'd had any idea people were going to get their knickers in such a twist about it, I wouldn't have mentioned it.

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BeyondMyWits · 31/07/2023 08:02

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 23:11

I wish I'd just said I gave him the money.

I wasnt looking for opinions on giving him my card. If I'd had any idea people were going to get their knickers in such a twist about it, I wouldn't have mentioned it.

To be equivalent though, you'd have to say you gave your son £100 (contactless limit, lets face it he could have gone high!), and he spent £6... which doesn't sound that bad to be honest...

Dacadactyl · 31/07/2023 09:13

Usernameunknownfornow · 30/07/2023 19:19

Over It being 1p over

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Yes, because its a matter of respect. He knows where he stood before he went.

If he CHOSE to go over, the consequences are on him. He can add up as well.

Twyford · 31/07/2023 09:16

BeyondMyWits · 31/07/2023 08:02

To be equivalent though, you'd have to say you gave your son £100 (contactless limit, lets face it he could have gone high!), and he spent £6... which doesn't sound that bad to be honest...

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If he's been told not to spend more than £2, it is that bad. It's still effectively taking £4 out of his mother's purse without asking.

Twyford · 31/07/2023 09:19

Blackbyrd · 30/07/2023 19:31

You embarrassed yourself taking the items back, surely it would have been better to keep them and ration them out. Your son is a young child and behaved like one. You're an adult and should try behaving like one instead of being a miserable drama llama

No, she embarrassed her son, which is the right approach. Even rationing them would have been rewarding him, and he wouldn't learn the right lessons from it. The only alternative would be to give the stuff away but still make him pay through withholding pocket money.

Twyford · 31/07/2023 09:23

Applescruffle · 30/07/2023 18:26

There's a feature at the bottom of any OP post that let's you read everything the OP has said in the thread. I find or really useful

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Sarcasm really doesn't work when you have missed the point as spectacularly as you have done here. This was specifically in response to your comment about "statutory rights" being unaffected. The simple fact is that statutory rights have nothing to do with what happened. I'm glad that the shopkeeper took the stuff back, but he had no statutory obligation to do so.

Original poster

Applescruffle · 31/07/2023 11:17

Twyford · 31/07/2023 09:23

Sarcasm really doesn't work when you have missed the point as spectacularly as you have done here. This was specifically in response to your comment about "statutory rights" being unaffected. The simple fact is that statutory rights have nothing to do with what happened. I'm glad that the shopkeeper took the stuff back, but he had no statutory obligation to do so.

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Yes but I already replied to the statatory rights thing so as I said, there's a handy feature available to you.

OP posts:

Original poster

Applescruffle · 31/07/2023 11:19

BeyondMyWits · 31/07/2023 08:02

To be equivalent though, you'd have to say you gave your son £100 (contactless limit, lets face it he could have gone high!), and he spent £6... which doesn't sound that bad to be honest...

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But I've never specified how much I had on my card.
Contactless limit means shit all really.

OP posts:

Patchymum · 31/07/2023 13:14

Applescruffle · 31/07/2023 11:19

But I've never specified how much I had on my card.
Contactless limit means shit all really.

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IKR imagine assuming every one has £100 or over available in their debit card all the time! Must be a nice life! Maybe OP had or put a tenner on her card making it the same as handing him a tenner.